Office Rumours - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Eastern Girl · 05-26-2008, 09:05 PM

Another advice thread, I know, but I do need to hear the collective wisdom of CP on this one...

Has anyone ever had to deal with office rumours circulating about themselves? There are a couple of girls in my office, along with myself, that are the center of a couple of unflattering rumours. I didn't worry too much at first, but it's really starting to bother me as they seem to be picking up steam. I am worried about it ruining my reputation around the company, possibly ruining chances at promotions or whatnot. I like this job so I really want to nip this in the bud. Should I approach higher ups and say "there are rumours and they aren't true, just thought you should hear it from me," etc, or just leave it alone? A different course of action altogether? Thoughts, suggestions and general musings on the topic are appreciated and welcomed.

stang · 05-26-2008, 09:07 PM

whats the untrue rumor?

Eastern Girl · 05-26-2008, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stang

whats the untrue rumor?

Basically, rumours on how we managed to get our jobs and why clients are requesting to work with us specifically...

stang · 05-26-2008, 09:09 PM

Yikes, i would talk to my boss about it, but I am pretty tight with my boss

RougeUnderoos · 05-26-2008, 09:10 PM

What is the nature of these rumours? Personal -- ie "She's a drunk" or Professional -- "She steals money".

You probably don't want the higher-ups hearing either type. If I was your boss I think I'd appreciate it if you came in and said "there are rumours out there about me and they aren't true, in case you were wondering".

4X4 · 05-26-2008, 09:11 PM

What kind of work/company? Do you have any idea who is behind the rumours?

Igottago · 05-26-2008, 09:11 PM

Do you work for a large organization? A lot of big companies have an ethics line or something similar that you can call for issues such as this.

RougeUnderoos · 05-26-2008, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

Basically, rumours on how we managed to get our jobs and why clients are requesting to work with us specifically...

Well if that's the case then the rumours are also about whoever hired you and more importantly, the client.

Spin it that way -- "people are saying nasty things about myself, management and the client. Our client's reputation is being dragged through the mud with these rumours and we better put a stop to it or they won't be our client for long..."

BlackArcher101 · 05-26-2008, 09:15 PM

I have dealt with more than my fair share of rumors. I find the best course of action is to distance yourself from others involved in the rumor and let it run it's course. Defending yourself will only make things worse.

CaramonLS · 05-26-2008, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

Basically, rumours on how we managed to get our jobs and why clients are requesting to work with us specifically...

Wouldn't said rumors would include the higher ups then?

They'd know it was BS pretty quickly.

But approaching the higher ups? Dunno. That just lends credence to the rumors and makes them suspicious. Imagine if they didn't know about the rumors and the first they'd head about it was from you? That would be an awkward conversation.

Letting crap like that bother you and addressing it just makes it an issue/makes it worse IMHO.

Eastern Girl · 05-26-2008, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4X4

What kind of work/company? Do you have any idea who is behind the rumours?

I am just about 100% sure who did it. But I don't have any proof so I can't really throw a name out there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Igottago

Do you work for a large organization? A lot of big companies have an ethics line or something similar that you can call for issues such as this.

It is a large company, and that's something to look into, thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fotze

Depending on where you work that might be ood for your career....but I digress...

Its tricky, because you don't want to seem like the "whiny, can't take a joke" type but at the same time if you don't deny they slowly become true. If there was a way that you can make it unequivocable that they are not true and it is a little offside to be spreading while at the same time making a joke about something less offensive.

Yeah, that was my initial reaction. I don't want to seem whiny or dramatic, etc. He seems to already not like dealing with women (that's just my general impression as he seems to always make 'jokes' about women in business) so I hate the idea of approaching him and mentioning this rumour.

jammies · 05-26-2008, 09:19 PM

I'd say bringing the rumours up yourself is likely to give them legs no matter whether you are denying them or not. I assuming a friend (or "friend" who is just looking to stir things up) told you about the rumour, so that was your big opportunity to flip out and vehemently protest your innocence so that people would take note; you can still find out who else is doing the yapping, and confront them all, letting them know that first of all, if they want the truth, come to you first before spreading tales, and second of all, you thought they were better than this (even if you aren't at all surprised - you want the moral high ground).

Or you could just ignore it as beneath your contempt, although I guess that depends on what the rumour is about.

Clarkey · 05-26-2008, 09:20 PM

If you mention it to a higher up do it in a non-chalant way.

Eastern Girl · 05-26-2008, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fotze

I agree, minimize the chalant as much as you can.

Ok...

"Good morning, how 'bout this weather? By the way, despite rumours, I'm not a whore. Anyways, hope it doesn't rain today, I didn't bring an umbrella... " and then quietly exit back to my desk.

Does that minimize the chalant?

Reggie Dunlop · 05-26-2008, 09:47 PM

Bypass the boss -- take it straight to HR. If it's affecting you in performing your job, then its harrassment. Doesn't sound like the boss has done a good job letting this kind of environment flourish.

HR will be required to follow through with enforcing an established company policy or implementing one. Make sure there's a paper trail.

RougeUnderoos · 05-26-2008, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reggie Dunlop

Bypass the boss -- take it straight to HR. If it's affecting you in performing your job, then its harrassment. Doesn't sound like the boss has done a good job letting this kind of environment flourish.

Ooh, the "harrassment" word. Good call.

On the other hand though, if you are with a big (and therefore likely successful) company, any rumours that you are screwing your way to the top is probably laughed at by the people who actually know anything. And if they don't laugh, they certainly can't be taking it seriously.

Reggie Dunlop · 05-26-2008, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Ooh, the "harrassment" word. Good call.

On the other hand though, if you are with a big (and therefore likely successful) company, any rumours that you are screwing your way to the top is probably laughed at by the people who actually know anything. And if they don't laugh, they certainly can't be taking it seriously.

Since there appears to be other "victims" of this gossip mill, then no, it is not a laughing matter.

RougeUnderoos · 05-26-2008, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reggie Dunlop

Since there appears to be other "victims" of this gossip mill, then no, it is not a laughing matter.

Yeah, that's true.

What I mean though is that I'm sure this kind of thing doesn't get a lot of traction with the people who really matter. They know the truth. It probably reflects worse on those who are both spreading the rumours and have something to gain from spreading 'em.

Reggie Dunlop · 05-26-2008, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Yeah, that's true.

What I mean though is that I'm sure this kind of thing doesn't get a lot of traction with the people who really matter. They know the truth. It probably reflects worse on those who are both spreading the rumours and have something to gain from spreading 'em.

Well, the supervisor doesn't seem to be putting the kibosh to it (and its likely he knows its going on), so chances are he's pretty two-faced with the higher-ups and for all they know, everything's peachy. Any trained Human Resources administrator will treat the issue with confidentiality.

JiriHrdina · 05-26-2008, 10:32 PM

I think the first thing to do is assess if its harming you in anyway in terms of your reputation and what not.

If it isn't. Don't sweat it. Amazingly just by being above all the rumor mongering you can separate yourself from the rest.

If it is. Talk to your boss...but do so in an indirect manner. Don't bring it up in a tattling manner but rather...maybe as a employee to mentor. Ask for advice about how to handle the situation. Does 2 things - shows you are mature but also alerts them to the situation without being a tattle-tale.