How useless are you? - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

RougeUnderoos · 03-03-2008, 01:49 PM

That exploding star thing reminded me that if push came to shove, I wouldn't be able to look after myself.

If a big disaster happened (not like a flood or ice storm, but a nuclear war or an asteroid hitting) and the few survivors had to start relying on our abilities instead of the grocery store and Enmax to survive, I think I'd die pretty soon. Would you?*

I caught a few fish when I was a kid, but other than that I've never killed anything bigger than an insect (it was a big insect though) so I don't think I'd be much for hunting.

I've never grown a plant let alone tended a garden or grown food.

I've never chopped down a tree though I suppose I could figure that out soon enough, and I've lit about a million campfires in my day so I might be able to keep warm.

I don't think I'd be very valuable to the other survivors. You know that episode of the Simpsons when the comet is coming and they have to decide who is expendable based on their ability to do something constructive in the future -- I think I'd be the first out the door if it came to that. My job is utterly frivolous today and it simply wouldn't exist in this disaster future.

Would your job exist? Can you do anything else to help out if not? Some special skill or vocation that is a necessity in Disaster Time?

*please no one bother with "if there is a nuclear war we'll all be dead..." or some such serious answer. I'm just wasting time here and I know how silly the scenario sounds.

GirlySports · 03-03-2008, 01:54 PM

Doesn't even need to be a disaster.
If you took away my microwave I'd starve in about 3 days.

Hack&Lube · 03-03-2008, 01:55 PM

I think the best survival skills would be the ability to hunt and forage, to know what you could eat. Also, mechanical and electrical skills would be essential to operate what machinery was left. A good knowledge of science for using equipment and navigation would also be crucial. Who knows how to use a ham radio??? I don't.

I've killed birds and small mammals before with rocks and traps while camping (not that I'm proud of it, I was a stupid kid and I feel really bad about it all the time).

The main thing for survival is to have the neccessary tools. Without tools, you are pretty much helpless trying to live off the land if you have no prior experience. I've lived homeless when broke in Europe for a few days, I've slept in parks, I don't mind roughing it. I don't really need much of anything I suppose. Just some tools. Tools! I gots to have em!

Resolute 14 · 03-03-2008, 01:56 PM

I'd just beat up the people who are productive and take their foods.

4X4 · 03-03-2008, 01:56 PM

Well that made me feel good. I'm proficient at everything you listed. Of course, all that campy stuff is usually done under the influence. So if beer were to no longer exist, I may not be all that good at it.

But my first order of business would be to operate and drive a firetruck. I'd probably justify it by coaxing someone else to ride in the bucket so that I could lift him up high to pick apples or something. But not before speeding down Elbow drive with the sirens on.

HotHotHeat · 03-03-2008, 01:56 PM

A doom and gloom prof I had told our class several times throughout the term "The most useful knowledge you can obtain isn't a university degree or the keys to financial wealth, but the ability to be self-sustaining in every aspect."

Locke · 03-03-2008, 01:57 PM

I can take care of myself as far as camping and outdoorsmanship is concerned, but I am enormously lazy and my priorities are totally out of whack.

I'd probably starve because instead of hunting and foraging for food I'd be busy trying to figure out how to make beer in "Apocalytica."

My job would be totally shot to hell though. You dont need accountants if theres no money and nothing to buy and nobody selling it.

4X4 · 03-03-2008, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Resolute 14

I'd just beat up the people who are productive and take their foods.

Best.answer.ever.

worth · 03-03-2008, 01:58 PM

I have always thought that people rely too much on the government/infrastructure. Maybe relying is a bad word, but 99% of people don't prepare for for the possibility that the power might go out, or that the water might stop running, or that a train carrying hazardous materials crashes near your home and they evacuate half the city. I feel you need to be proactive in these regards. I don't plan on relying on anyone but myself if the need comes to pass.

That being said, it is pretty much impossible to survive by yourself alone. That is why many people have predestined places they can bug out to if they had to that have the necessary materials to sustain people.

Everyone should have a 72 hour kit in their house at all times.

http://getprepared.ca/index_e.asp

Can go a long way if the s*** hit the fan.

Going out and fending for yourself in the wild is pretty much a joke. 99.9% of people would not survive very long in the wilderness without the proper knowledge and appropriate tools.

Yes, we all go camping, but we bring our food and shelter with us. If you suddenly had to get out of town, you may not be able to bring a tent and you can't bring enough food to sustain you indefinetly. You need some pretty good skills to bring in a meal everyday, a rifle makes it easier, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

I would bug in myself. Stay at home until whatever it is passes over unless I absolutley had to leave. Heading for a shopping center or some place like that is a death sentence. That is why you need the things before hand. Fortify yourself in your home and stay there if at all possible. You have everything you need there so why leave if you don't have to?

4X4 · 03-03-2008, 01:59 PM

As for my job, I can build houses. Of course, without a set of plans and a phone to call trades, I'd be just as useless as anyone.
I'd probably just move down to the sewers and hang with Leo, Mike, Raph and Don.

Hack&Lube · 03-03-2008, 02:00 PM

How many of you have actually fantasized about being in a survival situation before? I think a lot of young males do it, I mean those that don't fantasize about surviving being attacked by a helicopter gunship on the way home from school fantasize about other stuff.

Dion · 03-03-2008, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Resolute 14

I'd just beat up the people who are productive and take their foods.

And when you have no more people to beat up, how are you going to get your food?

4X4 · 03-03-2008, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

How many of you have actually fantasized about being in a survival situation before? I think a lot of young males do it, I mean those that don't fantasize about surviving being attacked by a helicopter gunship on the way home from school fantasize about other stuff.

I definitely have. I'm pretty sure I'd survive on an island like the one on Lost. As for a climate like Calgary's, if the disaster happened in spring or summer, I'd probably be ok by winter. But if it happened in or around winter, I'm not so sure.

But I think I'd actually enjoy a mock stranding on an island. For a month or something, knowing that I'm not actually stranded. But just placed there and I have to find water, build shelter, feed myself, start a fire without matches... That'd be pretty fun.

RougeUnderoos · 03-03-2008, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hack&Lube

I think the best survival skills would be the ability to hunt and forage, to know what you could eat. Also, mechanical and electrical skills would be essential to operate what machinery was left. A good knowledge of science for using equipment and navigation would also be crucial. Who knows how to use a ham radio??? I don't.

Yep, I don't have any of those skills. I thought about a ham radio too and I don't know how to work one, let alone how one works. If I had to fix it or set i up or anything else it would be a paperweight.

Locke · 03-03-2008, 02:10 PM

I would have to be the cruel, heartless dictator of this post-apocalyptic hell in order to have even a small chance of survival.

worth · 03-03-2008, 02:14 PM

and how many people here actually own firearms? they would be a big part of any major survival situation.

CaramonLS · 03-03-2008, 02:17 PM

I'm the one who'd be leading the gang of scavanging ruffians to kill/slaughter innocents and steal their supplies/food.

My Job/BA ensures that I will have no ability to be of any real help aside from my "critical thinking skills" - which I would then use to develop a strategy to kill more people.

So infact, I'm a negative help.

Aeneas · 03-03-2008, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4X4

I definitely have. I'm pretty sure I'd survive on an island like the one on Lost. As for a climate like Calgary's, if the disaster happened in spring or summer, I'd probably be ok by winter. But if it happened in or around winter, I'm not so sure.

But I think I'd actually enjoy a mock stranding on an island. For a month or something, knowing that I'm not actually stranded. But just placed there and I have to find water, build shelter, feed myself, start a fire without matches... That'd be pretty fun.

They should make a TV show like that, maybe with a prize for the winner. I'd watch that.

octothorp · 03-03-2008, 02:19 PM

I'll be okay until my glasses get broken or stolen by one of the other tribes. I'm good enough at agriculture and general wilderness survival to piece things together, I think.

Livestock is risky, they'd get poached all the time; goats are probably the best fit: fairly multipurpose, easily domesticable, and you can move them in a hurry if you need to; cattle are too visible and take too much land. Chickens aren't tame enough. Grains are too hard to cultivate, as we'd have no powered machinery, and hand plows are pretty-much non-existent. So that leaves fruits and vegetables. Diversify as much as possible, so that if any vegetable crop fails, you have others to fall back on. And make sure that you collect seeds from everything that you grow, for next year's crops. Potatoes would be one of the best crops, because they propogate so well.

Basically, my strategy would be to loot a gardening store and then get out of the city and away from other people, keep a low profile, find some land that has access to water, probably along a creek; this will also increase the likelihood of finding game to snare.

Fozzie_DeBear · 03-03-2008, 02:22 PM

I'll get a copy of the SAS Survival guide book....and then use it to knock out people with food