The sad thing is natural selection only works if you haven't had kids yet
Could you imagine if that was your dad? The shame you'd feel the rest of your life knowing that you were the offspring of someone so stupid? I'd probably just stick my head between the bars and end it right then and there.
I'll never forget the one Darwin Award nominee where a lady who was mad at her boyfriend, drove by his house and decided to chuck a hand grenade at it to extract revenge on him. A devious plan, no doubt.
It was only after she chucked it did she realize that she forgot to roll down her window.
One of nominations from the 2007 darwin awards site:
Quote:
A 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a probable victory for the mole. The man had pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line, with the intent of rendering the subterranean realm uninhabitable.
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"Opinions are like demo tapes, and I don't want to hear yours" -- Stephen Colbert
Recently a patient was rushed into the hospital, needing a surgeon to reattach the tips of his fingers to his left hand. While taking the patient history, it was found that this bright chap got the idea of holding his lawn mower sideways and applying it to his hedge.
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"Opinions are like demo tapes, and I don't want to hear yours" -- Stephen Colbert
(25 March 1993)
A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man killed by his own gas. There were no marks found on his body, but an autopsy revealed the presence of large amounts of methane dissolved in his blood.
His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage, just the right combination of foods to produce a severe gas attack. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed.
Had his windows been open, the flatulence wouldn't have been fatal, but the man was shut up in a nearly airtight bedroom. He was an obese man with an unlimited capacity for creating the deadly gas. Three rescuers became sick and one was hospitalized.
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"Opinions are like demo tapes, and I don't want to hear yours" -- Stephen Colbert
a darwin thread. my fave is an honourable mention where the dude put ballons on his lawn chair and floated into the LAX flight path. he ended up being rescued at sea.
but i'd be up for a darwin thread!
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Franchise > Team > Player
Future historians will celebrate June 24, 2024 as the date when the timeline corrected itself.
Darwin award nominee for sure...
