Is this mean or neccessary?

[rubecube]

So I recently moved out of the house I was sharing with another guy. He kind of considers me a good friend but I'm not a big fan of the dude. During that time one of his girlfriends moved to town and I became friends with her.

Now this guy is one of those guys who treats women like dirt. He constantly has several on the go and when he's caught, denies it and instantly turns it around on his girlfriend. He also constantly insults this girl and manipulates her to the point where she bascially supports his entire life financially. I've always felt pretty bad for this poor girl but never really said much because she never asked me.

Flashback to two weekends ago. I was at a Halloween party and this girl showed up. Long story short, we both had too much rum and she took me back to her house. Interestingly enough, I have a pretty sensitive conscience and I really didn't feel particularily guilty about this.

Anyways, I really have no interest in dating this girl and she understands this but we both still consider each other friends. So now she's begun complaining about her boyfirend and how much she wants to break up with him. I've kindly lended an ear nad a shoulder to cry because I know how much of an the guy is.

This week a group of us were supposed to go to a game with tickets she had gotten. Originally her boyfriend was to be coming with us but instead planned on getting tickets with some of his friends. His friends never came through so now he wants the tickets that this girl had already promised me and two other friends of ours. She gave in and agreed to give him the tickets. She's also agreed to give him more money this week.

My dilemna is that I can't stand people who complain about their problems to me without any real desire to fix them. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of as a shoulder to cry on. I'm not even mad about not going to the game as I am about her caving into this ######.

Am I in the right to tell her to basically piss off until she's able to grow a spine and fix her own problems?

[4X4]

So you tapped your roommate/buddy's g/f? Uncool in my books regardless of how much of a ###### he may be. Kinda puts you in the same ballpark as him, IMO.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by rubecube

My dilemna is that I can't stand people who complain about their problems to me without any real desire to fix them.

Then stop hanging out with women.

A big mistake we guys make is when a girl tells us her problems, we think she is looking for a solution. She isn't.

Next time you don't want to hear about it; just start taking her clothes off. That should make her change the subject.

[return to the red]

Originally Posted by rubecube

So I recently moved out of the house I was sharing with another guy. snip

yes, the sooner the better. She's abusing your friendship

You aren't her boyfriend so why should you be putting in all the ear time?

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by 4X4

So you tapped your roommate/buddy's g/f? Uncool in my books regardless of how much of a ###### he may be. Kinda puts you in the same ballpark as him, IMO.

Normally, I'd agree. But this is a guy who's got 3 on the go right now, so it's not like he's overly attached to any of them. That and I don't even like the guy.

[burn_this_city]

The best thing you can do is let the girl keep hitting her head on the proverbial brickwall.. Some chicks don't ever learn and no matter how much you try and help it does little.. I swear about 50% are born to breed with scum no matter how intelligent they may seem..

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

The best thing you can do is let the girl keep hitting her head on the proverbial brickwall.. Some chicks don't ever learn and no matter how much you try and help it does little.. I swear about 50% are born to breed with scum no matter how intelligent they may seem..

This guy seems to have a knack for finding all of them.

[RougeUnderoos]

Sounds kinda like you should tell them both to piss off.

I'm sure you've got better things to do than listen to the problems of two people you don't respect or even like.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Normally, I'd agree. But this is a guy who's got 3 on the go right now, so it's not like he's overly attached to any of them. That and I don't even like the guy.

So all you're doing is cutting his booty call grass? Alright then. But clearly this isn't how she feels about it.
One of two things wil happen: either she comes to her senses (based on your version of reality) and ditches the guy or she goes female and uses the one nighter with you to make him jealous (tells him about it).
Either way, I don't see a future between the two of you unless you're willing to get with a chick who cheats. I guess it doesn't bother you since you knew about it, but chicks are way more emotional about sex than we are. You're asking for trouble rolling with a girl that sleeps with her b/f roomate and then cries to him about stuff. All I can say is yikes. Get ready for some drama.

[Phanuthier]

Originally Posted by ken0042

A big mistake we guys make is when a girl tells us her problems, we think she is looking for a solution. She isn't.

Ain't that the truth

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by 4X4

So all you're doing is cutting his booty call grass? Alright then. But clearly this isn't how she feels about it.
One of two things wil happen: either she comes to her senses (based on your version of reality) and ditches the guy or she goes female and uses the one nighter with you to make him jealous (tells him about it).
Either way, I don't see a future between the two of you unless you're willing to get with a chick who cheats. I guess it doesn't bother you since you knew about it, but chicks are way more emotional about sex than we are. You're asking for trouble rolling with a girl that sleeps with her b/f roomate and then cries to him about stuff. All I can say is yikes. Get ready for some drama.

I'd be jumping ship ASAP.. Its never worth the trouble.. Like 4x4 said, a girl like that who is prone to cheat isnt one to be trusted..

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

Sounds kinda like you should tell them both to piss off.

I'm sure you've got better things to do than listen to the problems of two people you don't respect or even like.

That's kind of how I'm seeing it.

[bigtmac19]

You said she understands you have no interest in dating her, but that you are friends!
I would suspect she thinks you will end up wanting to date her, given enough time.
Otherwise, I wouldn't think she would be complaining so much to you about him, that's what her girlfriends are for.

[Jagger]

Originally Posted by ken0042

Then stop hanging out with women.

A big mistake we guys make is when a girl tells us her problems, we think she is looking for a solution. She isn't.

You speak the truth but we never ever learn, do we? We want to solve problems while most women in my experience just want to spout off about them. Frustrating beyond belief.....

rubecube, I think you know what you have to do, right?

[4X4]

Clearly, she is using her vagina to control you. You are her security blanket. Don't take that crap, man! Forget the beeotch. Forget her like you never knew her.

[foofighter15]

Originally Posted by rubecube

Normally, I'd agree. But this is a guy who's got 3 on the go right now, so it's not like he's overly attached to any of them. That and I don't even like the guy.

I can understand that, but it reminds me of when I was in High school and i was becoming friends with this one chick whose boyfriend was an ass and constantly cheating on her. One night she called me and all i heard was them arguing and yelling at each other. Eventually made out from it all that he had cut her. So long story short I pulled an O.C. and went over and beat the guy up.
Here is where the relation to your story is.
At this point I pretty much assumed I had won her over officially (we were always flirty and all that stuff too) but I said before we did anything she had to break it off with him for the last time. She didn't. She went back to him. This is when I said, not worth the time.
I think that can go for you too. If she is going to look for an answer to a problem and then when she's got it and she chooses to go with the incorrect answer its beyond your help.
I'd say let her know your opinion and hope she learns from it

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by Jagger

rubecube, I think you know what you have to do, right?

I don't think I'm following you.

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by Jagger

You speak the truth but we never ever learn, do we? We want to solve problems while most women in my experience just want to spout off about them. Frustrating beyond belief.....

rubecube, I think you know what you have to do, right?

I had a girlfriend who complained all the time about how I always tried to find solutions to her problems.. God forbid she would try and work through them instead of constantly complaining..

I think everyone is saying to ditch the beeeotch

[llama64]

Originally Posted by Jagger

You speak the truth but we never ever learn, do we? We want to solve problems while most women in my experience just want to spout off about them. Frustrating beyond belief.....

rubecube, I think you know what you have to do, right?

I find it interesting that humans are designed to operate in this manner. WTF is going on. Men are pre-programmed to build solutions to any problem. Women constantly have problems so it seems like the perfect match.

And yet not...

Sounds like a messy situation. Life's nicer without messy situations. Get a new room-mate and block both of their phone calls.

[troutman]

So no one told you life was going to be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, you're love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.