Life is short - Have an Affair

[onetwo_threefour]

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/30012009/...fair-game.html

CTV refuses to run ad for 'discreet' dating service with the title of this thread.

Here's some Saturday morning controversy for you, do you agree or disagree with CTV's decision?

Personally I agree, not because of religious convictions (don't have any) but I think that promoting the idea of infidelity is ridiculous. I don't care if you promote it as a "f***-buddy' site or a site for those in open relationships, but "Have an Affair" doesn't pass the smell test for advertising in my view.

[TheDragon]

The fact that there is a demand for a site like this is more disturbing to me than the ad itself. I suppose it's just more proof for the theory that we are living in an oversexxed, pornographic society.

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally Posted by TheDragon

The fact that there is a demand for a site like this is more disturbing to me than the ad itself. I suppose it's just more proof for the theory that we are living in an oversexxed, pornographic society.

I don't think so. People have been oversexed and sleeping with multiple partners since the dawn of mankind. If anything, it's proof that people are extremely sexual biological creatures and always will be.

[Ozy_Flame]

That's a sweet business idea. A hex on CTV for refusing to broadcast their commercial!

[octothorp]

Of course, now they just get a whole lot of free promotion instead, as this news story helps with their brand awareness. I've seen their ads online, and I've never been offended by them. Hell, they're always done in a more tasteful way than some other adult-themed online dating site ads.

[flylock shox]

I'm with CTV on this one all the way. It would reflect very badly upon their network. Morality aside, this is simply a smart business move.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

I don't think so. People have been oversexed and sleeping with multiple partners since the dawn of mankind. If anything, it's proof that people are extremely sexual biological creatures and always will be.

Disagree. There is a lot of social scientific evidence pointing to the fact that with internet pornography etc... we are living in an increasingly "over-sexed" world. That's not say that you are wrong, humans are very sexual beings, but there is a difference, in my opinion, between healthy and unhealthy sexuality.

[photon]

Originally Posted by TheDragon

The fact that there is a demand for a site like this is more disturbing to me than the ad itself. I suppose it's just more proof for the theory that we are living in an oversexxed, pornographic society.

Then portions of society that are less exposed to pornography, or societies where there is less pornography would show lower rates of infidelity and divorce, and I don't think I've seen anything that shows that.

Porn is a result of people's sexuality, not a cause of it.

I agree with WP, we're sexual animals and it's always been this way, monogamy came about to better protect children, not because that's the most satisfying and fulfilling type of relationship for two people to have.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by photon

Then portions of society that are less exposed to pornography, or societies where there is less pornography would show lower rates of infidelity and divorce, and I don't think I've seen anything that shows that.

Porn is a result of people's sexuality, not a cause of it.

I agree with WP, we're sexual animals and it's always been this way, monogamy came about to better protect children, not because that's the most satisfying and fulfilling type of relationship for two people to have.

I don't think there is any rational connection in the comparison you have drawn. There are a variety of factors that contribute to infidelity and divorce that have nothing to do with pornographic addiction.

We are seeing more evidence that pornography and non-monogamous relationships result in things like mysogyny. I've got to agree with a lot of feminists, this is something that primarily benefits men and hurts women.
Monogamy was created to protect children, but is almost certainly a social relationship which limits the abuse against women.

[pepper24]

I believe if you're going to have an affair, you're going to have an affair whether for right or wrong reasons. What I question is the busines model of this website. From what I read their philosophy is that people are going to have affairs on their own so they are a business to help accomodate these urges. Doesn't seem right to me and seems very immoral. It's like a tobacco company saying kids are going to smoke anyways so they'll help kids fulfill that urge.

(Company) doesn't convince anyone to have an affair and merely accommodates people who have already made that decision.

[Agamemnon]

If someone wants to have an affair it's no business of mine... I don't see an issue with the site, though I don't necessarily blame CTV for not carrying the ad. I definitely don't think 'we' (North Americans) live in an over-sexed society... if anything the subconcsious sexual repression here blows stories like this way out of porportion... in Europe they might have a more cosmopolitan view of this. If CTV thinks the ad might damage it's reputation then by all means, let it miss out on the advertising revenue for the sake of it's image.

[TheDragon]

I'm not specifically correlating pornography to infidelity when I use the term "pornographic society." I was simply referencing that porn culture has become mainstream (at least that's that theory,) and has affected just about everything from the way we dress, to what kind of music we listen to... and now, obviously, to how we interact (or not interact) within our relationships when we've got a website, obviously generating enough of a profit from it's 3.5 million subscribers to try and purchase a Super Bowl ad slot, offering to make it easier for people to cheat on their spouses.

Apparently this website (or at least one similar to it,) is the most viewed 'pornographic' website, daily, on the internet as a side note.

Moreover, this site has already done what it's intended to do - attract attention. CTV airs that they are not going to air this ad, as does the Super Bowl. Doesn't matter. People now know that there is a site like that out there, if they haven't already, and are going to go out of their way to find it. Damage is done.

[BlackArcher101]

Lavalife and Plenty of Fish are already used to carry out affairs... so do they pull the ads for those too?

[Daradon]

Originally Posted by peter12

We are seeing more evidence that pornography and non-monogamous relationships result in things like mysogyny. I've got to agree with a lot of feminists, this is something that primarily benefits men and hurts women.

Can't agree with that. The porn industry is bad for both men and women. As for the actual effects of it on society, well a lot of feminists try to link porn and abuse against women, but there is no hard evidence that that is true.

Like anything it comes down to how individuals use it. Some couples use it together, and lots of singles use it for their own. More men than women yes, but don't doubt that many many women like porn too.

Like most other things, it's something you can get addicted to or something that can take away from your life. But again, it's up to the individual, not the industry or society.

EDIT: As for the affair dating site. Yeah, those sites kinda creep me out, but they are extremely popular. I guess people with less scruples always have more possibilities for making money.

[J pold]

I'm with WP and photon in terms of the evolutionary biology thing, we are sexual creatures and on a very basic biological level our purpose on this earth is too spread our genes. Which means reproducing with as many partners as possible to ensure that your genes survive.

[photon]

Originally Posted by peter12

I don't think there is any rational connection in the comparison you have drawn. There are a variety of factors that contribute to infidelity and divorce that have nothing to do with pornographic addiction.

We are seeing more evidence that pornography and non-monogamous relationships result in things like mysogyny. I've got to agree with a lot of feminists, this is something that primarily benefits men and hurts women.
Monogamy was created to protect children, but is almost certainly a social relationship which limits the abuse against women.

That's what I'm saying, pornography isn't a cause of infidelity, if it was it would be fairly easy to measure that. (And didn't really mean porn addiction, just porn viewing in general).

I'd be interested to see that kind of research that porn would actually cause misogyny, establishing a causal relationship rather than just a correlation.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by photon

That's what I'm saying, pornography isn't a cause of infidelity, if it was it would be fairly easy to measure that. (And didn't really mean porn addiction, just porn viewing in general).

I'd be interested to see that kind of research that porn would actually cause misogyny, establishing a causal relationship rather than just a correlation.

I just read an SCC court case which referenced a couple of studies done in the late 80s/early 90s.

As for the evolutionary biological argument, I do not accept its use when referring to ethical circumstances. As part of the modern social contract, we have endeavoured to do away with as much of our survivalist ethics as possible. Infidelity, as an ultimate cause, is almost certainly a matter of reproductive survival. It is a naturalistic fallacy to invoke biology as justification.

[photon]

Of course, not saying biology is justification, but it is a reason.

Any links to the studies?

[peter12]

Originally Posted by photon

That's what I'm saying, pornography isn't a cause of infidelity, if it was it would be fairly easy to measure that. (And didn't really mean porn addiction, just porn viewing in general).

I'd be interested to see that kind of research that porn would actually cause misogyny, establishing a causal relationship rather than just a correlation.

As for that point, I can think of two circumstances, from experiences of friends and family, where a relationship ended terribly because of pornography addiction.

I should clarify. I am not condemning all pornography. I do think there exists a certain type of "good erotica" which does celebrate human sexuality, but it is clear that much of pornography objectifies humans, both male and female, as little more than animals. That's what I have a problem with as I do think it leads to the justification of biological practices which are supposedly outmoded by our current ethical institutions.

EDIT: I can't find electronic links to the articles in the case without purchasing the articles. I have access through my university account.

If you go to google scholar and type in the appropriate search words, you get a bunch of articles from academic journals.

[peter12]

Originally Posted by photon

Of course, not saying biology is justification, but it is a reason.

A reason so far as what? I am a subscriber to many biological explanations for human beings, in fact, I am going to be involved in research that seeks causation for certain political behaviours that can be revealed in gene coding.

However, nothing exists in a vacuum. Culture, more specifically ethics, does seek to eliminate some of our more dirty biological behaviours and to a limited extent, at least cognitively, we have succeeded. In special regards to human sexuality, I do not subscribe to the poor justifications for the more "libertarian" definition of sexuality. That is, everything goes if there is a biological reason for it. Certain types of sexual behaviour should be socially frowned upon. Infidelity being one of them.