Dumbest questions asked at Banff National Park

[GirlySports]

All Time Dumbest Questions Asked
by Banff Park Tourists
Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks manned By Parks Canada staff!


1. How do the Elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?
2. At what elevation does an Elk become a Moose?

3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk’?" Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' "Tourist: "Oh".

4. Are the Bears with collars tame?

5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?

6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?

7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?

8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was?

9. Are there birds in Canada?

10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?

11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?

12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?

13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?

14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?

15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice fields?

16. How far is Banff from Canada?

17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?

18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?

19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?

20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don’t they?

21. Are there phones in Banff?

22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles?

23. We're on the decibel system you know.

24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??

25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?

26. Don't you Canadians know anything?

27. Where do you put the animals at night?

28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom". Tourist: "Oh!"

[BlackEleven]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?

I actually laughed out loud when I read that one.

[Juventus3]

Standing around an info kiosk and listening in is one of my favorite things to do...I do it whenever I'm around one. People are actually ######ed.

[Displaced Flames fan]

I've always thought what a privilege it is to have grown up in the middle of the Rocky Mountains and to have been exposed to nature on a grand scale for many years. You get people who have never been outside of their large metropolitan area in these places and they become instantly stupid. I see it every time I'm back home.

On our way back from Montana this year we (My 12 year old son and I) went through Yellowstone NP. It was his first time, I have been many times. Anyway we were walking along one of the boardwalks in a geyser basin and this lady behind us tells her daughter who looked about 5 years old to jump down off of the boardwalk and "touch that water and see if it's hot". Unbelievable. Fortunately for the mother her stupidity surfaced at a place that didn't boil her daughters fingers off.

Another story, here in Wichita they opened a Gander Mountain store. In case you aren't aware of this retailer, they are an outdoors supply store...hunting, fishing etc. Anyway, they have several nice animal mounts in the store one in particular of a mountain lion over a downed caribou. Some of the people at the post office where I work were talking about how that moose scared them when they walked up on the mount. Baffling to me, but I guess when you don't grow up like I did you wouldn't know a beaver from a muskrat....or a caribou from a moose!

[Ford Prefect]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

I've always thought what a privilege it is to have grown up in the middle of the Rocky Mountains and to have been exposed to nature on a grand scale for many years. You get people who have never been outside of their large metropolitan area in these places and they become instantly stupid. I see it every time I'm back home.

On our way back from Montana this year we (My 12 year old son and I) went through Yellowstone NP. It was his first time, I have been many times. Anyway we were walking along one of the boardwalks in a geyser basin and this lady behind us tells her daughter who looked about 5 years old to jump down off of the boardwalk and "touch that water and see if it's hot". Unbelievable. Fortunately for the mother her stupidity surfaced at a place that didn't boil her daughters fingers off.

Another story, here in Wichita they opened a Gander Mountain store. In case you aren't aware of this retailer, they are an outdoors supply store...hunting, fishing etc. Anyway, they have several nice animal mounts in the store one in particular of a mountain lion over a downed caribou. Some of the people at the post office where I work were talking about how that moose scared them when they walked up on the mount. Baffling to me, but I guess when you don't grow up like I did you wouldn't know a beaver from a muskrat....or a caribou from a moose!

Why would the cari-moose scare them? You'd think they'd find the mountain lion scarier. There's no accounting for people sometimes.

[Mccree]

I used to work at a hotel and someone once asked me when do they let the animals out in Banff.

[Bench Warmer]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

I've always thought what a privilege it is to have grown up in the middle of the Rocky Mountains and to have been exposed to nature on a grand scale for many years. You get people who have never been outside of their large metropolitan area in these places and they become instantly stupid. I see it every time I'm back home.

On our way back from Montana this year we (My 12 year old son and I) went through Yellowstone NP. It was his first time, I have been many times. Anyway we were walking along one of the boardwalks in a geyser basin and this lady behind us tells her daughter who looked about 5 years old to jump down off of the boardwalk and "touch that water and see if it's hot". Unbelievable. Fortunately for the mother her stupidity surfaced at a place that didn't boil her daughters fingers off.

Another story, here in Wichita they opened a Gander Mountain store. In case you aren't aware of this retailer, they are an outdoors supply store...hunting, fishing etc. Anyway, they have several nice animal mounts in the store one in particular of a mountain lion over a downed caribou. Some of the people at the post office where I work were talking about how that moose scared them when they walked up on the mount. Baffling to me, but I guess when you don't grow up like I did you wouldn't know a beaver from a muskrat....or a caribou from a moose!

I can always tell a beaver from a muskrat...

[underGRADFlame]

When I was up north working, I made a trip to Skagway, Alaska. Being that I worked for the same hotel chain I got talking with the bartender at the hotel, (an american) we got talking about the stupid tourist questions as we got many of them in Whitehorse. Well Skagway is a port town where alot of alaskan cruses dock, so the tourist can go inland to see the klondike. Well after compairing a few stories he said I have one that takes the cake. He had a guy and his wife come up to him and start talking when he worked at another bar, one just off the dock, after a few minutes of chat the man asks "so what altitude does Skagway sit at?"

[PYroMaNiaC]

Originally Posted by Bench Warmer

I can always tell a beaver from a muskrat...

Sometimes a rat or a skunk can be a little more difficult to identify though.

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

A conversation supposedly overheard by my aunt and uncle while in a restaraunt with a very large window in Banff.

(Deer emerges from woods and stands in plain view of restaraunt patrons)
Woman: Look Dear, and animal.....What kind of animal is that?
Husband: I'm not sure Dear.
My Uncle: Ah, that's a deer.

[Frank the Tank]

I'm so lucky to have grown up out west. That and the fact we had had a cottage really allowed me to see a lot of animals in the wild. Some, a bit closer than I really wanted to.

[MissTeeks]

Welcome to the world of Tourist Information Centres. My first three summers between University were working at the one in Sicamous, which is right, I mean right, next to the lake and people would come in and ask where the lake was. You can see it from the parking lot. And we were also ask weird questions about seeing wildlife.

[Flashpoint]

I heard a couple others regarding Banff

How long did it take to plant all the trees?

How long have you all been speaking American?

Where are all the rides? I thought this was a park? Are you telling me I drove for 2 hours with these kids and there aren't any RIDES!!?

You should cut down these trees so folks can see the mountain better.

I think it would be good for my family to see me kill and skin a bear. Can you tell me where to get a gun and some knives?

So, where do you guys keep all the beaver? (looking at the national park logo)

[Hemi-Cuda]

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

I'm so lucky to have grown up out west. That and the fact we had had a cottage really allowed me to see a lot of animals in the wild. Some, a bit closer than I really wanted to.

yep. i grew up in a small Okanagan town called Lumby. surrounded by mountains and lots of wildlife. i remember one time as a kid a friend and i were taking a shortcut towards his house through a wooded area and came face to face with a black bear. i think he was just as startled as we were though, and we just ended up staring at each other for a few seconds until both us and the bear started slowly walking backwards. soon as it was out of sight behind a bush we hightailed it out of there faster then i've probably ever run since

[Mr. Ski]

Ha! I'm amazed this is still around. I added a number of these to an what was at the time an e-mail forward after working at Lake Louise in 1998. BTW, people really did say these things... ah, the memories...

[bigtmac19]

I didn't grow up out west, but I am still not this stupid for pete's sake.
How do these people walk and talk.

[tete]

I worked at a National Historic Site in Manitoba dressed in costume of the 1850's. Next to the house I worked in was the aboriginal encampment. The number of times I heard stuff like "Ooooh, you're gonna get scalped" and "Watch those savages" etc. etc. was nauseating.

Between that and "Gee, people sure were short back then" (while looking at a child's bed), I was ready to pull my hair out.

[TheyCallMeBruce]

At Banff...
Tourist: Can I buy a bear to bring home as a pet?
Info Centre: No
Tourist: How about a deer?
Info Centre: Nope.
Tourist: Very well, you won this time.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by tete

I worked at a National Historic Site in Manitoba dressed in costume of the 1850's.

Let me guess, Fort Garry?

If you are ever in Winnipeg and are bored (I know- it's a stretch but hear me out), I highly recommend going. It is very well done, and the characters really get into their period roles.

And I've also heard some tourists there ask if that's how Canadians talk all the time; unaware that the people working there are in character.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by underGRADFlame

When I was up north working, I made a trip to Skagway, Alaska. Being that I worked for the same hotel chain I got talking with the bartender at the hotel, (an american) we got talking about the stupid tourist questions as we got many of them in Whitehorse. Well Skagway is a port town where alot of alaskan cruses dock, so the tourist can go inland to see the klondike. Well after compairing a few stories he said I have one that takes the cake. He had a guy and his wife come up to him and start talking when he worked at another bar, one just off the dock, after a few minutes of chat the man asks "so what altitude does Skagway sit at?"

That's hilarious! Having been to Skagway to see all of the tourists "going to the Klondike" its not surprising unfortunately.