Back Alley Drainage problems

[lifer]

Originally Posted by fotze

In my new house the back alley is not graded correctly so me and a couple neighbors get the garage minorly flooded, especially in the winter. It is a gravel alley of course. The neighbor said he has phoned the city and they slough it off of course.

We complained to 311 in February and today we finally got a call back from a city guy in the back alley. Apparently the manhole that is above the garage is owned by Telus..???? and when they installed it they did not want to cut it off lower an extra 6ish inches and grade the alley correctly. But the gist of it is that its not the City's problem according to buddy.

Is this true? Some back alleys will be the responsibilty of Telus because they own the manhole? Wouldn't the city have to approve the permit that allowed telus to put in the manhole? what the hell do they have a manhole for anyway? If this isn;t the city's responsibility I guess they won't enforce the Peep Show tent and Dildo Museum I am going to set up for profit behind my garage.

Anyone ever hear of this.

I've heard of peep show tents, not dildo museums, and have never heard of telus having a manhole.

[ken0042]

How old is your neighbourhood, Fotze? I ask, because one way around it if it's old enough is to get the neighbours together to have the alley paved. I think the alley has to be at least 6 (or maybe 8) years since construction ended, and 67% of the neighbours have to agree.

I think for my alley it would work out to $20 per month on my taxes to get it done.

[Rhettzky]

I work for the city and we have nothing but problems with Telus. However in this situation I call BS on that guy. If Telus came in after the fact and put a MH in then they would do as little work as possible. Which means if the MH was too high they would just leave it high and get the hell out of there. There is no way they would re-grade the entire back alley 6". I kind of need more information on what the exact drainage problem is to have a better understanding of the issue but if you snap some pics I would be happy to have a look at them for you.

[Tron_fdc]

Easy solution: take a cutting torch out there and wreck the manhole. Call in to complain, and when they have to come out and replace it, it has to be done to code.

Problem solved!

[Rhettzky]

No problem, just try and take the picture from far enough back to get an idea of the overall grade.

Also, just a side note. If it is indeed a telus manhole that means that it would serve no drainage purpose as it's not directly tied into the storm water system.

[Tron_fdc]

Originally Posted by fotze

Obviously it doesn't have to be done to code, this new work was only done a couple years ago according to the neighbor.

Well, I could lend you a cutting torch to keep cutting it until they got it right if you wanted? That or use it to cook steaks, whichever you preferred.

Everyone needs a good torch laying around. That and a chainsaw.

[J pold]

I was expecting fotze to make a wise crack about the night club

[ken0042]

I know it's not an easy thing, but have you called Telus?

Yeah, they aren't the best company in the world for customer service, but if nobody tells them the manhole people screwed up; how would they know?

[RougeUnderoos]

I'm sure Rhettzky won't like to hear this, but a guy I know only got action from the city when he screamed and yelled and swore (he even insinuated to an answering machine that its owner has carnal knowledge of mothers). He had been polite for months and got nothing. Finally he snapped and a day later the issue was resolved.

[getbak]

Originally Posted by fotze

If this isn;t the city's responsibility I guess they won't enforce the Peep Show tent and Dildo Museum I am going to set up for profit behind my garage.

I don't know anything about your drainage problem, but you should name your new business "The Telus Man Hole".

[Flames_Gimp]

so what you're saying Fotze, is, you have a protruding manhole? sick dude

[Rhettzky]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

I'm sure Rhettzky won't like to hear this, but a guy I know only got action from the city when he screamed and yelled and swore (he even insinuated to an answering machine that its owner has carnal knowledge of mothers). He had been polite for months and got nothing. Finally he snapped and a day later the issue was resolved.

No problem, that's the way it works at the city in some divisions anyways. Other divisions are very good at catering to 3-1-1 complaints and other inquiries. Your best bet is to try and get the best idea of what the problem is (so that you ensure you are dealing with the proper division) and then contact the appropriate division with your situation. If your first request gets brushed off or ignored than yelling, screaming and swearing will definitely get thier attention.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by fotze

Is there some sort of substance one can pour down a manhole to ruin what is down there necessitating someone coming out and fixing it, that will pose no explosive hazard?

You mean other than concrete, right?

[Flames_Gimp]

Originally Posted by fotze

Well update. Finally Telus phoned back and the manhole with Telus' name on it, belongs to Bell. WTF???? Is there some sort of substance one can pour down a manhole to ruin what is down there necessitating someone coming out and fixing it, that will pose no explosive hazard? Then when whatever stops working in the area the company will be exposed?

yup..Thermite

[Rhettzky]

I have a not-so-simple solution:

1. Steal the lid.
2. Melt it down and sell it for cash.
3. Call 3-1-1 and complain about an open manhole.
4. City comes out and replaces lid.

*Repeat steps one thru four until you have sufficient money to hire a contractor that will build a 0.6m concrete swale the length of your alley to drain all water to the main street.

If anyone at the city starts getting suspicious about the missing lids just tell them that you have "mighty big squirrels" in your neighbourhood.

[ken0042]

I've got a better one:

Go to Edmonton, mail yourself a package with a book inside it. Make the package easy to open the bottom of it. The day it arrives, open it carefully and remove the book. Put in its place a flashlight, some computer parts, and an alarm clock that beeps randomly when it moves. Then put it down the manhole. Call 911 and tell them you were in your back alley about to open the package when you heard it beaping. Fearing it was a bomb you put it in the most secure place you could think of for the community's safety- the manhole.

Call Global and CFCN.

Note- the preceeding post was intended to be funny and should not be attempted by anybody!

[Flames_Gimp]

mix up a bag of concrete ($5) trowel it up to the manhole, make a slope.