jam26 – Only the first 24 jams hurt!
Inventor, Self-made Super Evil Genius, born James Vader Menzies on July 1st 1974. Jam26 is the only child of Joseph Munster and Marilyn Menzies in Lima, Peru. Jam26 opposes the tradition of children taking their father's surname; instead he uses his mother's maiden name. Jam26 was born with a cleft lip.
Although doctors diognosed jam26 as mentally handicapped he did develop normal intlect by age 4 and continued getting smarter from then on at an unheard of rate. With such rapid brain growth Jam26 suffered from paralysing headaches. His IQ was in record numbers by his 8th birthday but the headaches increased. To assist with the pain in 1983 (age 9) Jam26 invented what he calls the “Cerebrovascular Explodmusto” and began to “Jam” himself, 26 times so far to be exact.
The good news is the headaches stopped, the bad news is that his inter-personal skills diminished and he is now quite a jerk. He did gain great intelligence however and his head has continued rapid growth to incredible proportions and is expected to completely fall off within the next 2 years.
Jam26 was accepted and educated at Universidad del Pacifico in Peru in 1984 (age 10), and graduated as their youngest student ever at age 13 with his Masters degree in Pokemon Design.
Becoming a US citizen in 1987, jam26 built a secret lair somewhere in the Rocky Mountains; it is believed to be near Colorado but has yet to be found. Jam26 was made world famous by his 2003 unsuccessful attempt to harness the Earth’s gravitational force so that his massive head wouldn’t fall off of his shoulders. He caused great tsunamis and earthquakes resulting in hundreds of thousands of lives lost around the world. Jam26 took control of all TV signals around the world to issue his apology. “Tough Titties” was all he said and then gave an evil laugh.
No one is exactly sure when jam26 became the General Manager of the CPHL Colorado Avalanche. He was never hired but just took over the job.
Stay tuned for the next CPHL Biography: JiriHrdina – Won’t someone think of the Children?
CPHL Biography #12 -jam26
