Successful Marriage Criteria: 90% Marry Once

[I-Hate-Hulse]

Some interesting fodder for those in relationships, or contemplating the plunge.....

Almost 90 per cent of married Canadians have been wed only once, says the study in the Canadian Social Trends survey, released Wednesday by Statistics Canada.

According to the study, first marriages were more likely to succeed if the couples:

• Married in their 30s.
• Did not live together in a common-law relationship before wedding.
• Had children.
• Attended religious services.
• Were university educated.
• Believed that marriage was important for happiness.

Three key factors influenced the durability of marriages: the ages of the bride and groom, the length of the marriage itself and how committed a person was to the institution of marriage.

http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/natio...ge-survey.html

The not living common-law one is interesting to me... I thought that would have been an advantage. I think there's another study that says it depends if the common law thing is done for economics or an eye towards marriage that has a greater impact. Apparently if you've got your eye towards marriage you'll develop conflict resolution mechanisms, whereas if it's just for economics you won't bother to.

[Iowa_Flames_Fan]

That makes sense. My wife and I lived together for a year before we were married, but we were already engaged. We learned a lot of valuable things about each other during that time.

Personally, I think the problem in a lot of marriages is that people have this idea that romance is sufficient. Marriage is about hard work, compromise and teamwork--and it isn't always easy, though in my experience it's always worthwhile.

[habernac]

the living together beforehand thing is a must IMO. How are you going to know what another person is truly like if you don't live with them first?

[MrMastodonFarm]

Two close friends of mine are geting married this weekend, and they already live together. Planning on living with my gf long before we ever get married as well. It's really hard to mesh two lives together, and I'd rather see how that works out before tying the knot.

[BlackEleven]

Originally Posted by habernac

the living together beforehand thing is a must IMO. How are you going to know what another person is truly like if you don't live with them first?

Totally agree.

In my experience all sorts of conflicts can start to emerge when you live together. For example, what if one person is a neat freak and the other a slob or the couple have dramatically different views on how money should be spent. That's something you may not realize until your living together and if you're already married you might get stuck in a situation you don't want to be in that's hard to get out of.

[jolinar of malkshor]

Originally Posted by habernac

the living together beforehand thing is a must IMO. How are you going to know what another person is truly like if you don't live with them first?

The study actually says that the marriage is more likely to succeed if you DONT live together first.

[socalwingfan]

Been married just over 10 years - 1 possibly 2 and we're still going strong

Married in their 30s.
I was 26 - wife 18
Did not live together in a common-law relationship before wedding.
Did Not Live together
Had children.
No children, not going to happen
Attended religious services.
Never
Were university educated.
Both SAIT graduates
Believed that marriage was important for happiness.
Sounds good

[Buff]

I didn't live with my wife until we got married. I don't believe in living together before marriage. I think it is a cop out. Not one of my friends who moved in with their other halves before marriage have had a successfull relationship.

Edit: I'll copy socalwingfan:

Age: I was 27 and my wife was 25
Living arrangments: Did not live together until marriag
Children: 1st child was born 3 years after we got married
Attended religous services:
Weekly (both of us)
University Educated:
Wife - Yes, Me - Two different College diplomas
Marriage important for happines:
Yes, we agreed.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by socalwingfan

Married in their 30s.
I was 26 - wife 18

Lucky son of a bitch.

[Eagle Eye]

Originally Posted by Buff

I didn't live with my wife until we got married. I don't believe in living together before marriage. I think it is a cop out.

How is it a cop out?

The harderst point of me and my wife's relationship was the first year that we moved in together (lived together for 2 years). We both learned how to comprimise (ok most of it was me, lol) and we have never been happier. We will have been married for 5 years this August and we have a 3 year old son and a baby coming in July.

I have seen many peoples (friends) marriages fall apart just because they couldn't live with each other.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by jolinar of malkshor

The study actually says that the marriage is more likely to succeed if you DONT live together first.

and I'm saying I'd never want to do that. What part of that did you miss?

[habernac]

Married in their 30s.
I was 33 - wife 25
Did not live together in a common-law relationship before wedding.
Lived together for 2 years
Had children.
We had our first this year
Attended religious services.
Never
Were university educated.
SAIT and NAIT grads
Believed that marriage was important for happiness.
Sure.

[Bend it like Bourgeois]

Originally Posted by BlackEleven

Totally agree.

In my experience all sorts of conflicts can start to emerge when you live together. For example, what if one person is a neat freak and the other a slob or the couple have dramatically different views on how money should be spent. That's something you may not realize until your living together and if you're already married you might get stuck in a situation you don't want to be in that's hard to get out of.

Disagree

Marriage is not something you're 'stuck-in' but something you choose to stick with.

I think living together is some people's way of saying they're not prepared to make that choice until they see if it's too hard. I'm not sure that works for most.

In fairness, 'I do' is probably barely a better indication of commitment. But it's the commitment that matters, not the adjustment.

[jolinar of malkshor]

Originally Posted by habernac

and I'm saying I'd never want to do that. What part of that did you miss?

You are saying it is a MUST.....The study actual says it is a BAD thing. WHat part of that are you not understanding??????????????

[arsenal]

Originally Posted by jolinar of malkshor

You are saying it is a MUST.....The study actual says it is a BAD thing. WHat part of that are you not understanding??????????????

He is stating that due to his own personal experience, the study is wrong. I can't believe I just wasted 30 seconds of my life explaining that to you.

[jolinar of malkshor]

Originally Posted by arsenal

He is stating that due to his own personal experience, the study is wrong. I can't believe I just wasted 30 seconds of my life explaining that to you.

Holy cow

Where does he say that his own personal experience shows that it is the best thing to do? He doesn't.... He says that living together should be done first. Just because you say it should be done, doesn't mean it should be, as statistics show in more cases than not it would be BAD for the overall marriage.

[V]

Wow, I'm gonna be at 6 years married at the beginning of August.

I was 21, wifey was 23
Didn't live together first
1 kid, 1 on the way
Both attended Church weekly
I have a U of A degree, she has a high school diploma
Sure, marriage was the next step towards happiness, I suppose.

[arsenal]

He says in his opinion. He is aloud to disagree with the study.

[Buff]

Originally Posted by Eagle Eye

How is it a cop out?

It shows a reluctance to commit.

[jolinar of malkshor]

Originally Posted by arsenal

He says in his opinion. He is aloud to disagree with the study.

Far off from personal experience that you quoted.

I am allowed to inform him that his opinion is not supported by the facts. So why are you getting your panties in a not?