Stupid things you did as a kid.

[dissentowner]

What really crazy things you did as a kid? I used to hang out with a bunch of guys and growing up in a small town there was not much to do but play baseball out back of the school that our houses were near and causing trouble. The one kid's back yard was right where the baseball field was and we would always hop his fence to get there and he was also the designated water boy as well. Anyhow one day we were playing and the one guy hit a foul ball that landed in this old guys backyard. There was a fence around his yard and we played toss the bat to see who had to scale the fence and get it. Now none of us wanted to be the one to go over because this man owned a Doberman that he would let out sometimes and it would run around barking its head off at us. We didn't know if the dog was mean or not but none of us wanted to find out either. So our one buddy Ben was the poor bugger that ended up going for it. He gets to the top and is just about to drop down when the old guy opens up his patio door and out comes the damn dog and it comes tearing ass to the fence and poor Ben hauls himself back to our side. The dog is going mental and the old ####### walks over and grabs our baseball and goes back in the house. Now looking back in hindsight we should have walked around to his front door, asked for the ball back and if he refused just call the cops but we were terrible kids and this called for revenge! So we decided we were going to break one of his windows. We could do it from the previous mentioned friends backyard and that would give us ample time to get out of Dodge. So dark comes and we realize we have no rocks. Now what? The kid who lived there Mark was like no problem, goes into his house and comes out with 4 big potatoes. So now who was going to be the one to throw them? Ya, I had a cannon of an arm so I got nominated. No problem, this guy stole our ball and tried to sick his dog on Ben, justice! So I decide I am going to take out the right upper window, I throw the first potato and it goes sailing over the roof, no good. The second one hits the roof and rolls down into the eavestrough. The third one though, the third is the throw of throws! It goes perfectly where I throw it like a rocket and instead of the smash we are all expectantly looking forward to it goes right through the open window and a man screams loudly! We run like hell out of the yard and down the street and when we stop nobody says anything for like 5 minutes. At that time I pipe up that I must have pegged him in his bed with a potato! So we didn't play baseball for a week or so until we finally figured enough time had passed. So we are out there and we had just got started and the old guy comes out and waves us over. Uh oh!!!! We get over there and he has two things in his hand. He tosses the first over the fence and says "Here's your damn ball" Then he tosses the 2nd thing over and says "And there is your f'n potato too!"

[Fuzz]

LOL. Nice finish.

Since you started with a broken window....
3 of us were at a friends place, on a high deck in his back yard. We had a 3 person water balloon launcher, and no real targets. So we just aimed at the neighbours house, attempting to clear his roof with as little gap as possible. Well the 5th balloon didn't clear. Smash! Right into a 3 plane triangular window. The guy was out before we had a second to even think of hiding. So ya, $300 split between 3 idiots.

[MrMastodonFarm]

I never learned sentence structure and proper use of paragraphs.

[2Stonedbirds]

Years ago my cousin and I were playing on the grandparents farm, and in the old well drilling truck found about 5 pounds worth of blasting caps. We didn't know what they were but they looked cool so "hell yeah, let's divvy them up." So we split them up and went our separate ways.

About 2.5 pounds of old, dry blasting caps. Bad.
Stored them in a static electricity inducing plastic bag. Really bad.
Decided to put them in the holiday trailer before our family left for a vacation in the hills. Bumpy roads, people brushing their hair close to where I had stashed the bag. Really, really bad.

My cousin showed them to his dad, my uncle drove to the mountains and spent the entire night to find us and him and my dad safety disposed of them. We simply didn't have a clue what they were, could have been pretty bad.

[HotHotHeat]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

I never learned sentence structure and proper use of paragraphs.

You must have been too busy learning how to be an asshat

[keratosis]

Drove drunk. More than once.
It was the late 70's but still.

[fundmark19]

Got married.

Boy what was I thinking!

[bigtmac19]

OP's story sounds just like The Sandlot? Scott Smalls?

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by HotHotHeat

You must have been too busy learning how to be an asshat

Come by that honestly by'

[JiriHrdina]

Played the accordion. I mean WTF.
If I wasn't a geek enough I decided to pick the G-D Accordion?!?!

[flamesfan1297]

We used to climb on top of buildings when we were drinking, And then if they were close enough we'd jump between them. We'd climb up the drainage pipes or ladders. One time we climbed up a cell tower, that's pretty sketchy.

[nik-]

I was a member of the Khmer Rouge.

lol ... the crazy things us kids got up to.

[cracher]

I shoplifted. Once in my life. Was in my teens.

From a comic book store.

Only to find out last year that the owner is here on CP.

So what's $2.50 adjusted for inflation since 1998? I'll bring that in tomorrow.

[Dion]

Had a summer job as a lot attendant with a Honda delarship and things never went right for me. I was very ignorant at the time and showed up for the interview in a suit with the owner saying you don't need a suit to clean vehicles. He asks if I can drive standard and I said nope. Figured I lost the job but instead the owner assigned one of the salesman to teach me. By the end of the day I thought I had it mastered.

The morning after I was hired I walk into the showroom and I spot my boss with a huge smile on his face. He tosses me the keys to his car and asks that I take it up the road to get it filled with gas. I get in the car, start it up but for whatever reason I couldn't find reverse. A quick look in the rearview mirror and I see a crowd of people standing inside the showroom window watching. When I returned the secretary mentioned to me that the boss knew I wouldn't be able to find reverse quickly and the whole thing was set up as a gag. The laugh was on me.

This one time I had this Accord in the wash bay to get detailed for a customer. I'm drying it off when I decide I should get some tunes playing. I open the passenger door and reach over to turn the key to the on position. I had forgotten that I had left the car in gear and when the key turned the car lurched forward hitting the wall and doing some serious damage to the front end. Dealership lost the sale and I had to pay the deductable on the insurance, which I might add took a huge chunk out of my paycheck

I come in after lunch one day and the owner says he parked his Jaguar in the wash bay and wanted it detailed. After everything is done I get in and try to start the car, No matter how many times I turned the key it wouldn't turn over. Next thing I know the owner comes running into the wash bay screaming and asking me what WTF am I doing?! I roll down the window to hear the engine is running. It had such a quiet interior I couldn't hear if the engine had started

[Sr. Mints]

When I was in high school, a friend and I were walking home, and in our intoxicated wisdom, we decided to knock over every newspaper box along the way. Cops found us, and made us go back and stand them all back up.

It's actually rather funny to think about ~20 years later; those cops could have screwed us to the wall. Lesson learned.

[N-E-B]

Originally Posted by JiriHrdina

Played the accordion. I mean WTF.
If I wasn't a geek enough I decided to pick the G-D Accordion?!?!

Accordions are awesome

[Huntingwhale]

This could very easily be a long list of crap. But what sticks out most to me was what me and some friends did in Jr High. There was a bike rack right out front by the teachers parking lot. One day for ####s and giggles, me and 2 buddies decided to let all the air out of all the tires. There was probably about 30 bikes.

Well a supervisor caught us and immediately brought us to the vice-principal's office. The VP was a pretty intimidating guy and I remember he was going to take each us individually to his office and yell his ass off the entire time. One of my friends was balling his eyes out and I could hear it from the hall. I was terrified since I was next to go in. The school councilor came and got me and I was shaking in the VP's office (he had left). The councilor asked me why I looked so scared and I told him I was scared of being yelled at. And that was that. The VP never came in to yell at me. Only my 2 friends got it.

Our punishment was to go stand by the bike racks after school and apologize to every student whose bikes we had deflated. I remember standing at the bike rack and thinking it was hilarious watching all these kids walk up to their bikes and to realize they had no air left. I remember little elementary kids walking to their bikes and a supervisor explaining and pointing at us, saying we were the reason their bike had no air. Some tried to ride away to no avail. Some just walked it home. Some of them were even people I was friends with and I knew they lived far away. I ended up getting grounded and was forced to miss out on going to the Smashing Pumpkins concert that night.

Another time in elemetary school I remember the entire school was transfixed with the OJ Simpson trial. Us kids (I guess wanting to be ''black'') declared the verdict day "OJ Day". We literally marched around the school and playground chanting OJ's name. We all marched in a line like we were part of some protest. I still remember the rhymes we would sing out loud. We had entire groups of kids marching around during recess singing/chanting for OJ f'ing Simpson, like he was our hero. Man that was messed.

[Fuzz]

^What? Your punishment was to apologize? I would have handed you a pump and said go fix them. And apologize.

[wretched34]

Found the book of anarchy online way to young....
Needless to say, the instructions for 'how to make napalm' didn't say anything about doing so in a ventilated area. An unventilated tree fort, is shall I say not the place to make napalm.

To continue with the Pyro theme, a friend and I decided to use hairspray, toilet paper and pog containers to make "pipe bombs". We decided the garbage can in the bus shelter by his house was the best place to test them, needless to say, the results were underwhelming. So, back to his house we went to try to improve on our design. 20-30 minutes later, there's a knock at the door, he goes and checks the peep hole, we knew as 10 year old not to open the door for strangers. He tried to explain this by shouting through the door that he's not allowed to open up for strangers, but the constable on the other side insisted. Turns out, a friendly man across the street was taking pictures of us, and provided the Polaroids of our bus stop arson to the police. We got a Stern talking too about the dangers of fire and explosives. I had a hard time concentrating on the lecture, as I was more concerned about the pedophile taking pictures of little boys.
Now I realize, he probably wasn't a pedophile, and was just being a reasonably sane witness to 2 insane kids.

[bc-chris]

going thru old photos a number of years ago i came across one of me in an oilers zip hoodie

i was devastated - how could this be? i had no desire to have a mullet, i like to shower and i don't own sweat pants.

the only thing i can figure is that looking at my age in the pic it was definitely taken in the early 80's. times were really tight back then with the recession and my older brother was a huge gretzky fan - so it must have been a hand-me-down. even so... i still feel dirty.