PTSD Anyone?

[Duruss]

Hi, I decided/needed to start this thread to see what CP has experienced when it come to PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). My reasons are not entirely altruistic, I have just been diagnosed with C-PTSD or Complex PTSD and I am engaging in EMDR therapy.


Getting the diagnosis has actually been quite refreshing as I now have an understanding of what has been happening to me for the last 21 years and why previous treatment I have received did not work or last. My problem is that I have been limping along and now I am at the end of my rope at 31. The last 3 or so years have been particularly hard as my PTSD has kicked it up a notch and completely devastated my ability to work, most recently causing me miss to another opportunity in July.


I am curious if anyone wants to share what they or someone they know has experienced when it comes to PTSD; how it has effected you or those you know, how it was dealt with? What was the impact on career or family? I am also open to questions.


I can speak that this has been very hard on my family. The path that brought me here today has left my wife wondering if things will ever get better. We have been experiencing constant financial hardship for near 3 years as she is wheelchair bound and I was the sole provider. We have also run into a lack of understanding and frustration from her parents. They need me to provide for there daughter and I have been trying my best, but, well see above.


I have learned some incredible things in the last 3 months since I started seeing a private trauma therapist. First is that since I have ADHD it is very easy for medical professionals to miss the signs of PTSD as both disorders share a number of symptoms which allow one to mask the other. Next is that Complex PTSD while differs in a few aspects from PTSD they are similar enough that the treatments for one work for the other. I have also learned what it means to be “Triggered”, and that is a term I no longer take lightly. Also a shout out to RubeCube who rather nicely explained what it really means in another thread.

[Hack&Lube]

Thanks for sharing. I have suffered an inability to work due to depression and other factors before in my bygone youth. I understand how many people simply cannot relate or simply cannot comprehend that a mental block is just as powerful as physical barrier in stopping someone from moving forward in their life.

From your story, it sounds like a traumatic incident happened around when you were 10 and it took two decades to diagnose?

[Duruss]

Multiple incidents are what lead to my developing C-PTSD. The reason the diagnosis took so long is multifaceted, C-PTSD develops over time, I have adhd, and I typically down played my past and family interactions(big red flag). Our public mental healthcare system is patient defined target based. So when I come in saying I want to stop having panic attacks when trying to start a job, that is what the clinicians would focus on. And lastly I went for private treatment starting in July because it was faster and I was disenchanted with the public system.

Those factors are what combined to create the length of time for the diagnosis. I also think people still only expect to see PTSD in veterans. So yah, a long time to diagnose the problem, and with hindsight being 20/20 it was so freakin' obvious.


A list I grabbed of the shared behaviors/symptoms between PTSD and ADHD:
– Inattention
– Distraction
– Restless
– Impatient
– Impulsive
– Anger
– Sleeping problems
– Poor memory
– Poor concentration
– Anxiety
– Depression
– Low self-esteem
– Addiction problems
– Shame

[Huntingwhale]

My cousin married a guy who has PTSD. He is former special reserves/ops (not sure the exact terminology) in the Canadian armed forces and was deployed in Afghanistan a while back. Without going into too much detail, he was kidnapped by the Taliban and held for a couple months. He came back in horrible shape. I dare not ask him what happened, but I've heard from other family members details and it's not pretty. He won't take his shirt off in front of anybody and for good reason.

He's the nicest guy in the world. Would give you the time of day without you asking twice. He's also an EMT. At first I thought EMT might not be good for a guy suffering from PTSD. But he says the satisfaction he gets from helping people helps immensely. Nothing really fazes him out on the job he says, compared to what he's been through.

They got a service dog and apparently it really helped him. Then about a year ago the dog was hit by a car. He told me he mentally went completely down the drain. Got a new service dog and slowly but surely he's getting back to his feet.

I've witnessed first hand how it affects someone. I had no idea before. I find it troubling/fascinating how the human body implements PTSD. Our body envokes various responses and actions to protect itself. What benefits does PTSD have that the human body would feel the need to ''kick in''? Honestly I don't know much about PTSD as a whole, but it's something that I've wanted to learn ever since I've met my cousin-in-law.

[killer_carlson]

I don't have PTSD as far as I know, but i'll be following the thread with interest.

Sincere best wishes in your treatment and recovery (if those are the right words to use).

[Duruss]

Thought I should update this thread.

First the trauma therapy I have been attending has been much more effective than any previous treatment. I am actually making progress more organically then ever before. The therapy is called EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.

Along with the EMDR therapy, I have been using medical marijuana for about a month and a half. Getting it prescribed was actually much easier than I thought it was going to be and the effect it has had in conjunction with the EMDR has felt like a total godsend.

This is my first time ever using cannabis and it has been very interesting. Had two bad trips which were enlightening reminding me of how I felt when I was younger and the absolute self loathing I felt. But all that did was remind me how much I want to recover from this and have a normal life for the first time.

Besides those two bad experiences which only happened because I am a newbie I have really liked using pot. It actually stops my flashbacks and anxiety in its tracks so far. I have found that it produces a feeling of being in the now, detached from the past and free of worry about the future driven by my past. This has been wonderful because it allows me to actually see the world as it is, not through the distorted lens of C-PTSD, which means I have a better chance of moving beyond those distortions and fears. I have been struggling with how to describe it but it is like an anesthetic for the brain that reduces inflammation so it can heal.

It has been a very interesting experience and I would absolutely recommend both EMDR and Pot to anyone in a similar situation; though I personally think that both are needed together to work.

Sadly as I posted in the Gear Grinder thread my chance to really test myself got snatched away, so it remains to be seen how effective all of this has been.

I do have a criticism about the marijuana. I have been vaporizing, which is nice and all because it works very quickly, but I really wish I had a more discreet way to ingest my medicine like an oral spray or something if I need it while outside the house. But I can't because the former Federal government acted like a bunch of of neanderthals about the issue until the Supreme Court of Canada made them do it. But of course they have been dragging their feet on approving things like an oral spray for as long as they could out of petty spite.

[Aleks]

I do. I don't openly or often admit it. I don't talk about it due to the professional repercussions in my field of it. I wish you the best of luck, and will be following along and reading about your recovery!

[OMG!WTF!]

Weird. Your story is just like mine minus ten years. It also took me 20 years to be properly diagnosed and I also did and do EMDR. Amazing therapy. I didn't have ADHD but was diagnosed with it forever. I haven't had a job in a while and even though I sort of want one I likely never will. I've gotten worse. I'm more isolated now and find interaction more and more challenging even though I'm pretty successful at it. I haven't slept in 5 years. So it's not going to get much better for me. But it is more acceptable if that makes any sense. It's harder but I can deal with it better which I think is maybe a vote of confidence for you. The marijuana therapy is interesting. Maybe I'll ask my neighbors. Oops. I've said too much. Volunteering as a dog walker literally saves my life three times a week. Even watching animal videos is miraculous. Maybe try that. Or actual animal therapy. I know a good hippotherapist. Seriously. Just weird how similar your story sounds.

[T@T]

I have a nephew who's been fighting PTSD after an incident in Afghanistan about 5 years ago, told his therapy has worked wonders.

Also had an uncle from WWII who was the only survivor from a group of 12 who apparently had it bad but nobody knew how to treat it then. as a kid in the 60's our town would still have air raid tests, when the siren went off no matter where he was he would leave and go home and would always be found in his sun room with his rifle on his lap.

[To Be Quite Honest]

Originally Posted by Duruss

Multiple incidents are what lead to my developing C-PTSD. The reason the diagnosis took so long is multifaceted, C-PTSD develops over time, I have adhd, and I typically down played my past and family interactions(big red flag). Our public mental healthcare system is patient defined target based. So when I come in saying I want to stop having panic attacks when trying to start a job, that is what the clinicians would focus on. And lastly I went for private treatment starting in July because it was faster and I was disenchanted with the public system.

Those factors are what combined to create the length of time for the diagnosis. I also think people still only expect to see PTSD in veterans. So yah, a long time to diagnose the problem, and with hindsight being 20/20 it was so freakin' obvious.


A list I grabbed of the shared behaviors/symptoms between PTSD and ADHD:
– Inattention
– Distraction
– Restless
– Impatient
– Impulsive
– Anger
– Sleeping problems
– Poor memory
– Poor concentration
– Anxiety
– Depression
– Low self-esteem
– Addiction problems
– Shame

I match far to many of these...

[2Stonedbirds]

Originally Posted by T@T

I have a nephew who's been fighting PTSD after an incident in Afghanistan about 5 years ago, told his therapy has worked wonders.

Also had an uncle from WWII who was the only survivor from a group of 12 who apparently had it bad but nobody knew how to treat it then. as a kid in the 60's our town would still have air raid tests, when the siren went off no matter where he was he would leave and go home and would always be found in his sun room with his rifle on his lap.

Jesus that's awful.

As an aside, I kind of worry about when we lose all of our WW2 vets. No one will be around to provide first hand perspective on what that time in history was like, thus IMO losing our personal connection to what kind of hell those guys went through.

[T@T]

Originally Posted by 2Stonedbirds

Jesus that's awful.

As an aside, I kind of worry about when we lose all of our WW2 vets. No one will be around to provide first hand perspective on what that time in history was like, thus IMO losing our personal connection to what kind of hell those guys went through.

Unfortunately my uncle wouldn't have helped as the minute the war was brought up he would leave the room. I realize I'm making him look a little crazy but he actually was a great guy who mostly hid his bad memory's and lived to the ripe age of 86 or 87. He actually taught me how to clean my first rifle.

[2Stonedbirds]

Originally Posted by T@T

Unfortunately my uncle wouldn't have helped as the minute the war was brought up he would leave the room. I realize I'm making him look a little crazy but he actually was a great guy who mostly hid his bad memory's and lived to the ripe age of 86 or 87. He actually taught me how to clean my first rifle.

I don't think that makes him look crazy... To be honest I think that is fairly common?

And perhaps how some people dealt with their PTSD?

Going into WW1, many nations youths were excited, and even romanticized the idea of war. Go to war, be a hero, come home, get laid. They didn't have a real reference point of the type of brutality that war constituted. Not to mention up until that point, swords and horses were the norm, not maxim machine guns. I hope that never happens to a generation of our nations youth.

Please tell me that first rifle was a Enfield.

[normtwofinger]

I do not have PTSD, but I have done EMDR therapy to treat my anxiety and depression. It's effective. It really helps to draw out the underlying emotions associated with an event and can bring closure or a new perspective. I highly recommend it.

[driveway]

Originally Posted by 2Stonedbirds

Jesus that's awful.

As an aside, I kind of worry about when we lose all of our WW2 vets. No one will be around to provide first hand perspective on what that time in history was like, thus IMO losing our personal connection to what kind of hell those guys went through.

I spent a summer working at the Museum of the Regiments... god... almost 20 years ago. I worked in the library which was right next to the regimental archives, two of which... King's Own and the Highlanders I think, though maybe PPCLI ... were WWII vets.

I'd never ask any questions, but the two of them would swap stories a lot and I could overhear most of what they were saying from where I sat. Heard some crazy stories, but mostly in a light-hearted vein.

RE: PTSD, No idea what you're going through man, really hope your therapy works for you, also hope your wife's condition improves/stabilizes, if that's possible.

[doctajones428]

I haven't been officially diagnosed with PTSD (As a month has not passed since this started) but I've been dealing with varying degrees of post traumatic stress the past couple of weeks. On November 26 my defibrillator went off 3 times in 5 minutes, and once more the next morning in hospital. I literally thought I was going to die. I was flown out to the UofA in Edmonton and spent 10 days there. My ICD showed that my pulse went from 80 to 200 in less than a second. One of the days there I had a full on mental breakdown, I felt like I was on a different planet. I was aware of my surroundings, I knew everyone in the room I was talking to, the conversations we had, but I felt completely unplugged from reality. I felt like I was never going to have a regular, clear thought again in my life, which truly terrified me. I had no clue the mind could go to such a place.

My heart has been absolutely 100% stable since they put me on an anti arrhythmic on the 28th but I still get random waves of complete dread, anxiety and thoughts about my time left on this planet. I'm scared to even lay down and relax as this whole mess decided to happen when I was completely calm watching Sons of Anarchy with my parents.

I think what truly makes me struggle is I'm only 26 years old and my condition (Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy. Think of a slower ALS) only has one trajectory and it's nothing but down. I want to have children, I want to see them grow up. I want to get married. I've always been optimistic and positive about my health, disease and goals but this was a true wake up call on how quickly life can go from "good" to bad, how quickly death can try to take you away. You're never truly prepared for it.

Everyday has had its up and downs but I feel with time, I can overcome it.

I know my story is absolutele childs play compared to what people with severe PTSD have battled through for years, even decades but I still wanted to share as it's still very much fresh in my mind

[sun]

Listened to an interview with Jane McGonigal, where she talks about gaming as treatment for PTSD. I don't remember all the details, but it might have been more of a preventative measure, so I dunno if it is totally applicable to your situation. You might find the interview interesting, nonetheless.