But apparently Russia's fearless leader and friend to children everywhere scored eight goals in an exhibition game, playing alongside Pavel Bure and Valeri Kamensky.
If the goalie stopped Putin's shots, he might be murdered mysteriously. But don't worry, Putin will handle the investigation into his death personally.
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Putin only scores 8 goals the entire game? Maybe Kim Jong Un is a better pick, I heard that he once scored 8 goals during the the first minute of a hockey game....