Geriatric, self-made hundredaire Dayel Bucky Peterson was born Oct 17th 1914 in Greenwich Village, NY (with a silver spoon in his mouth) to his parents Alfred and Genevieve Peterson. Unfortunately due to a rare silver allergy Dayel threw up for the first 957 days of his life. This nutritious imbalance led to Dayel's uncanny love of cheese. The coagulation of the milk protein was the only thing that kept “The Big Cheese” alive.
As teenager Dayel thought he was an “X-man”, for some reason he identified with a fictional character he made up called named Mystique. Dayel then started dressing in only skin tight body suits, a trend he still exhibits today. Dayel sold the character “Mystique” to Marvel in 1978 for a sloppily made BLT sandwich and $32.45.
In 1983 Dayel's love of speed eating Kraft slices resulted in him choking on a plastic cheese cover. This fateful hospital trip brought Dayel and Gail together. Gail Hornsucker was a nurse specializing in administering drugs to obscure idiots, it was a match made in 7-11. Dayel and Gail became inseparable getting married in 1988 at the base of the Calgary Olympic ski jump.
Dayel and Gail put their complete life savings of just over 3 million dollars in the 1990’s strange Tamagotchi fad. If they had cashed out early tens of millions of dollars awaited them. However Dayel's stubbornness won out and $237.34 was their ultimate payout. In 2004 while the rest of Calgary was caught up in the “Red Mile” frenzy Dayel was busy creating a line of groin puppets that failed on a global scale. The character Captain Dick Giraffe almost landed the couple in many a jail worldwide.
Left with nothing the couple went back to what’s known. Through a special blend of vitamins Cheese is now lactating and producing his very own daily delicacy. Cheese’s Cheese is only sold online and goes for $687.47 a gram. This nipple nectar from the gods is sought after by both Nigerian and Dubai princes.
Dayel has fulfilled his century long destiny and has become the golden cow milking himself daily via webcam.
www.CheeseMilking.com He also manages some CPHL team but no one cares at all.
CPHL Biography #22 - Cheese
