Lets Talk 'bout Relationships and Seperate Vacations

[Northendzone]

so as some background, my wife suggesting that i go one a week long mountain biking trip to moab to celebrate my 50th year of being alive.

i mentioned my wife's suggestion to a friend and he commented that " when I used to take vacations by myself. It was during a time when I had no kids, I was single and slept alone at night in my single bed in my parent’s home"

Of course i have two kids as well, and a total of 4 weeks vaction per year - while i am mulling over my wife's offer - i am somewhat astonished at my friends apparently suggestion that i am being selfish and short changing the family.

my thought is that i love biking, and nobody else in my family is passionate about it. i should also note that while the vacation would be expensive ($4,000 or so by the time the dust settles), my family will not go without shoes or food if i go. so assuming that you could afford it - my question is how many of you have taken/or regularly vacation away from your spouse/family? would you consider taking a vacation away from your spouse/family? how do you think your spouse would feel if you went off by yourself/with friends?

discuss.......

[Barbecue]

i'll be the first to say it...
it's a trap

[troutman]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091923/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/galtim...b_3618786.html

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/...86Q0S420120727

My parents have often done this. Dad goes hunting, trapping and trail-riding. Mom goes to museums and art galleries. 50th anniversary is next year.

[Canehdianman]

I go to my cabin once a year without my wife. No big deal. She's gone on trips to places with friends without me as well. I'm not sure why anyone who isn't insecure about their relationship would have a problem with it at all.

[dubc80]

The key is balance.

Yes, I go on regular vacations without the SO, but you also need to make time to go on vacations with them and the family.

I actually think it is really unhealthy when people are attached to their significant others all the time and won't (or isn't allowed to) do things on their own.

[MoneyGuy]

I do a couple of business conferences a year and almost always take my wife. I generally go to places we both want to visit. However, we have different interests and if one of those takes either of us somewhere the other is not interested in, we go solo. I've gone to Omaha, Nebraska, solo because it didn't interest my wife. I enjoy backpacking and if I wanted to do a longer trek that doesn't interest her so I'd go alone. She's gone to a craft thing without me because I have no interest in that or the destination. Otherwise we travel together. It's more fun together.

[DuffMan]

Imagine how many guys's buddy golf trips would be doomed with those attitudes.

I take holidays by myself all the time, but then my wife works at a school. She gets the whole damn summer off, but then only specific weeks during the other 10 months.

[Wormius]

I am always trying to encourage my wife to go on vacations by herself , unwind and get away from the kids and me.

What I am hoping though is that she won't give me too much grief for vacations that I want to do solo.

There are places that I want to go that my family isn't that much into, for example I'd like to visit the museums and sites around Washington, DC. My family has no interest in that. Similarly my wife wants to do these cruises or all-inclusive vacations that would bore me to death.

And like others have said, its balance. You still need to find the middle ground for vacations that you'll both enjoy.

[burn_this_city]

We take separate trips to see our respective families. I couldn't imagine spending all my vacation time between her folks and mine.

[Ashartus]

My wife often takes the kids to visit her family while I stay home. I've also taken the kids away for a week a couple of times without her. Neither of us have taken a vacation completely solo though; our "alone" time has been at home. If your wife supports the idea of going on the trip by yourself though I don't see a problem with it.

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

You want to go visit your mother? Great, have fun while you're there.

[FlamesAddiction]

My wife is a hypocrite when it comes to this. Her mother is always taking her on vacations down south and leave me at home, but she gets really pouty if I ever talk about doing it myself. I only ever came close to it once, but things became too tense so I cancelled (even though she was the one that originally suggested it and thought it was a good idea).

So yeah, it could be a trap.

[V]

It's most definitely a trap.

[GoinAllTheWay]

Originally Posted by dubc80

I actually think it is really unhealthy when people are attached to their significant others all the time and won't (or isn't allowed to) do things on their own.

This describes my brother to a T and it drives me nuts.

I enjoy holidays with my s/o but that being said, the occasional one apart is awesome.

And the welcome back sex aint bad either.

[bossy22]

I do long weekends with a buddy. We will head to Montana for mountain bike trips. I try to encourage my wife to go away for weekends, but she feels guilty leaving the kid when her work takes her away so much. For my 10 day biking trips, my wife comes along, but she bikes too.

I say do it. I never used to do these trips, but because my wife kept trying to get me to do more with my friends (I think I get on her nerves), now I do them and I look forward to them, and I have an awesome time. I always come back a happier person. I also started doing a ski trip with guys I've known for over 30 years.

Go to Miguel's Baja Grill for the MOAB - Mother of All Burritos.

[GGG]

I haven't done longer than a weekend. Usually backpacking trips that my wife doesn't wnat to go on but I do two or three a summer and probably adding a winter one on this year.

I think if your interests are different it is important to have time to embrace them if they aren't the kind of thing that can be done in just a day.

I would say do it there is nothing weird about it. I would probably try to cut down my discrestionary spending so that I would bare more of the cost of the trip but outside of that go for it.

[csnarpy]

My wife and I yearly do seperate vacations. As well as a vacation with the Kids.
It's the regular boys trip/girls trip.

Every other year we also do a trip, together, without the kids.

We're on our 9th year and our marriage is stronger than ever.

A little away time is super healthy imo.

[fundmark19]

I love separate family trips!! Like all the others there is a fine line that needs to be walked. Here are the reasons why I am all for them!

Cheaper! Just taking out the cost of a flight makes a huge difference for the affordability aspect. It can be a large chunk for the 2 of you to go at the same time it is easier to each go on a trip at different times of the year.

I do fun things! Guys trips involve sports and drinking and fun! When wife wants to go with me it involves shopping and lame things and she likes sports as well but only 1 or 2 events not everyday like myself.

She needs a break! Being a new parent it is impossible to get her away from the baby for any sort of time so a girls trip is so good for her mentally to step away from the baby.

Guilt Free! If you can convince your wife to go on a solo girls trip then you can go on more boys trips without any hassles!

[Northendzone]

I don't think it is a tarp, as this was her idea. I was fine when she agreed to accompany me to see the who in October......I don't think I'd ever suggest a trip of this nature.......

I thought my friends thinking was old school, but I just wanted to get some perspective.

For the most part my wife is pretty cool for a chick.....

[shermanator]

So you're going to Vegas for a week, eh?