[News] ESPN article on Theo Fleury

[MissTeeks]

A good read:

http://espn.go.com/nhl/story/_/id/11...-shaken-demons

CALGARY, Alberta -- It's been nine years and two weeks since former NHL star Theo Fleury had a drink. It's been almost 11 years from the time he bought a gun in a Santa Fe, New Mexico, pawn shop, drove home, put the barrel in his mouth and thought about pulling the trigger.
He doesn't miss the drinking. In fact, he said he doesn't even remember the last drink he had.
He no longer has suicidal thoughts. He never even really wanted to kill himself, he said. He just wanted to stop the pain that tormented him each and every day.
He doesn't seem to miss his NHL playing days either. Doesn't keep in touch with many of his old hockey buddies. His tight-knit inner circle now includes an Irishman who manages his band, Theo Fleury and The Death Valley Rebels, a Bosnian peace officer he met at his sons' soccer game and a former AHL tough guy who now works in the drilling business.

Distance from his former life has provided him perspective. Fleury, 46, would be happy if none of the things from his past defined him. He'd be thrilled if, looking back at his life, someone were to remark: "Hey, you know, he was a pretty good hockey player too."
"I would love that," Fleury told ESPN.com in a lengthy sit-down interview last week. "Hockey was the vehicle and it gave me everything I have, but it was only the first 35 years of my life. I still have 35 years left to live, and I certainly want to make a difference in the next 35."

He wants to help. He wants others to heal.
"I chose to live my life -- every little detail -- publicly because I know how many people it's helped. I know how many people have taken the noose off their neck, I know how many people have put the gun down, how many people that have not taken the whole bottle of pills," Fleury said. "What I want to encourage people is, it's OK to tell your story. One day you're going to tell your story, and it's going to save someone's life."

Though Fleury now identifies his family as the genesis of some of his most deep-seated issues (Fleury says he grew up fearing abandonment, finding himself unlovable, not good enough), it was another particular trauma during his teenage years that compounded matters entirely.
Fleury was sexually abused by his junior hockey coach Graham James, a harrowing experience he detailed in his acclaimed 2009 book, "Playing with Fire." It shattered his belief system, his ability to trust others, and it triggered the self-loathing that would fuel his problems for years to come.
He speaks about the abuse now with little emotion or hostility. Though he spoke out against James' lenient sentence in 2012 (a judge increased the sentence in 2013 from two years to five years), Fleury is motivated less by the idea of justice and more by the idea of forgiveness and healing.
"I've come to the point where I realized what happened to me was actually a gift," Fleury said. "My family of origin was actually a gift. Graham James was a gift. Why? It forced me to look at who I am, the true me, and I like that guy."

Fleury met therapist Kim Barthel at a conference in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She was a keynote speaker on resilience and healing within the First Nations communities who, in light of a cancellation by another speaker, was asked to prolong her presentation.
She wasn't a hockey fan. Still isn't, despite her husband Bob's zealous fandom for the Montreal Canadiens. She remembered seeing Fleury's face on the cover of "Playing with Fire" and being so put off by his demeanor that she didn't even want to read it.
But Fleury sought her out after she spoke, telling her she had just changed his life. And that they needed to work together.
The two have since co-authored the book "Conversations with a Rattlesnake: Raw and Honest Reflections on Healing and Trauma," which will be released next month.

Fleury didn't always see this as his path.
Even when Fleury confronted his demons and publicly denounced James, he was terrified. When he detailed almost every painful and shocking element of his addictions in his first book (Fleury said he was addicted to it all: booze, drugs, women, gambling, food, you name it), he still didn't feel entirely secure with himself.
But at one of his first book signings, at a Toronto location of the Canadian bookstore Chapters, he was struck by something that happened.
He was surprised by the number of people who showed up, yet one man in particular caught his attention. The guy clutched the book to his chest fiercely but grew increasingly agitated as he stood in line, bailing on the queue and then finally returning to thrust the book at the table, leaning in to tell Fleury:
"Me too."
It would be the first of many times complete strangers -- adults, children, even offenders -- would confide their experiences to Fleury. He said there are few days now that he isn't approached, a fact that reaffirms just how widespread the issue is and how much of an impact can be had.

But despite the ups and downs, Fleury has found peace with himself, a priority.
"I like me for the first time in my life," he said. "I like me, and that was never the case before. That's why I did all the things I did. I didn't like me."
He's no longer deking past defensemen, scoring flashy goals or chirping at his opponents. But he's happy with all that he's left behind. He's found something that means, to him, so much more.
"I believe this was my purpose in life," Fleury said. "I mean, I'm a f---ing fighter, right?"

[Cowboy89]

Interesting article. I think it's great that his efforts are able to help so many people and hope that legitimately this time Theo has found peace with himself.

[dissentowner]

Raise his numbers to the rafters already. It is absolutely ridiculous it has not happened yet.

[SportsJunky]

I have all the time in the world for Fleury and his story. He's really a pretty remarkable guy.

[Hanna Sniper]

Originally Posted by dissentowner

raise his numbers to the rafters already. It is absolutely ridiculous it has not happened yet.

Stamp!

[Phanuthier]

love him or hate him, he sure was a character.

Personally, I'm a fan of Theo.

[KootenayFlamesFan]

Probably my favourite player of all time. Saw him play in the WHL one time, and ever since that game I was a fan. Loved the way he played, loved how much emotion he played with. Terrible that he had to go through everything that happened to him........turned him later in his career into a person a lot of fans fell out of love with, but really glad he's sober and happy with himself and life. Thanks for the post and thread, MT.

[AcGold]

I played hockey with his son for many years. Theo practiced with us quite a few times and hung around in the dressing room. He clearly had issues that he kept inside because he would kind of sit and stew in his own thoughts but he was always nice to everyone. Not once did he snap at anyone or do anything but help out and treat people with respect. For a guy that would seemingly lose his mind swearing at the refs he was surprisingly nice away from the NHL. It was great when he came back and scored in the preseason a few years ago, brought a big smile to my face.

[Stay Golden]

Originally Posted by dissentowner

Raise his numbers to the rafters already. It is absolutely ridiculous it has not happened yet.

it is a major black mark on the Flames organization that they have not raised Fleury's number to the rafters by now.
They have had several opportunities to do so.
What they are saying to all fans and players is that it doesn't matter how great you were for our organization, how much the fans jumped out the seats to watch you. How much of a leader you were on the ice.
How many Fleury jersey's and tickets were bought were bought because of you.
You didn't play by our rules by not "always" kissing our ass after you retired. So we hold all the cards and you will never by honored and we really do not care how our fans feel about it.
In times like this I remind myself I cheer for the Flames for the city their logo, colors, and the players. Not the politics the Owners and especially Ken King seem to bring to the forefront.

[Finger Cookin]

Originally Posted by Stay Golden

In times like this I remind myself I cheer for the Flames for the city their logo, colors, and the players. Not the politics the Owners and especially Ken King seem to bring to the forefront.

The forefront? Really?

[Stay Golden]

Originally Posted by Finger Cookin

The forefront? Really?

I am pretty sure you get the point the Flames owners and Ken King play politics with former players when it comes to retiring number or this BS of just honoring them. They have a personal vendetta against Theo when it comes to raising his Number or Image to the rafters.

[Soliak]

"I believe this was my purpose in life," Fleury said. "I mean, I'm a f---ing fighter, right?"

[Travis Munroe]

I received a invite to some STH event on Monday and am able to submit a question.... perhaps theo's number being raised would be a good one to ask KK? Burke and Treliving wouldnt have anything to say but theres no reason for not receiving an answer from KK.

[FlamingHomer]

Originally Posted by Stay Golden

it is a major black mark on the Flames organization that they have not raised Fleury's number to the rafters by now.
They have had several opportunities to do so.
What they are saying to all fans and players is that it doesn't matter how great you were for our organization, how much the fans jumped out the seats to watch you. How much of a leader you were on the ice.
How many Fleury jersey's and tickets were bought were bought because of you.
You didn't play by our rules by not "always" kissing our ass after you retired. So we hold all the cards and you will never by honored and we really do not care how our fans feel about it.
In times like this I remind myself I cheer for the Flames for the city their logo, colors, and the players. Not the politics the Owners and especially Ken King seem to bring to the forefront.

I have to say, I understood the organization's point of view of not recognizing Theo's accomplishments because of his "off-ice activities."
But you just gave me a different perspective that I have to agree with.

[Beatle17]

Originally Posted by Stay Golden

it is a major black mark on the Flames organization that they have not raised Fleury's number to the rafters by now.
They have had several opportunities to do so.
What they are saying to all fans and players is that it doesn't matter how great you were for our organization, how much the fans jumped out the seats to watch you. How much of a leader you were on the ice.
How many Fleury jersey's and tickets were bought were bought because of you.
You didn't play by our rules by not "always" kissing our ass after you retired. So we hold all the cards and you will never by honored and we really do not care how our fans feel about it.
In times like this I remind myself I cheer for the Flames for the city their logo, colors, and the players. Not the politics the Owners and especially Ken King seem to bring to the forefront.

I hope the never retire Theo's number.