Existential crisis?

[Jbo]

Hey CP,

I'll start by saying this is a very personal post, but I wanted to throw it up on here to see if anyone else has gone through something like similar.

To start, some may wonder what an existential crisis is...from wiki:

An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose or value. Usually, it provokes the sufferer's introspection about personal mortality, thus revealing the psychological repression of said awareness.

Back to my own story, in the last few months I have had a number of things come up in my life that may have triggered this. I just turned 30, I had a long trip to Europe coming up (I hate flying) and numerous regular pressures of life. It cumulated in a panic attack and anxiety over a couple of months which has been very unlike me, almost as if I am in a strangers body.

My thoughts over the last few months have been all over the map. Questioning life, death, faith, purpose and being utterly terrified of my own mortality. I actually thought I may have been going crazy, or possibly depressed. Little things like the nightly news or an actor passing away, seemed to affect me 1000x more then it ever used to. I would stay awake late at night pondering philosophy, the universe and my own delicate fate. (P.s. Google in these situations is generally the worst thing you can do)

The more I learn and read about the whole thing the, the more it would appear that most people go through this at some point of there lives. It is actually somewhat comforting to know that others think and worry about the same thing. Many compare it to the great "mid-life" crisis in terms of impact.

I found this article pretty funny as well:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/catadamson/2...al-crisis-dk49

Anyway, just wanted to reach out to the community I have been a part in for 5 years now and see if anyone else has gone through something like this....

[Caged Great]

I personally haven't gone through anything like that myself, but one thing I would recommend is being patient with yourself as you figure things out. Time does nothing but add perspective on things and it will get better.

[Hack&Lube]

For myself, I figured this all out in my early 20s so I'm good to good. I shook off the shackles of religion, embraced reason, and found my raison d'etre.

I'll wait until my mid-life crisis or first marriage before I have another stab at having a break-down.

[Displaced Flames fan]

I am envious of those who can avoid those questions and are content to just accept living life.

I struggle with all of those questions constantly. In fact, I have made rash life choices based on the fear of my parents mortality.

It's easy to understand, when you've been in this situation, how so many people flock to religion. I just can't do it though.

[Kybosh]

One time I transformed into a monstrous verminous bug. I got better though.

(Kafka jokes are existentially funny).

[habernac]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

I am envious of those who can avoid those questions and are content to just accept living life.

I struggle with all of those questions constantly. In fact, I have made rash life choices based on the fear of my parents mortality.

It's easy to understand, when you've been in this situation, how so many people flock to religion. I just can't do it though.

I worry constantly. Mortality sucks, it has bugged me for years. I have 2 little people who constantly have questions about death. They're fascinated by it. I do my best to guide them.

[CaptainCrunch]

Also known as the "What the f%%k am I doing" follow by the "People and everything around me are entirely stupid" syndrome.

Everyone goes through it, usually you need a night of getting wasted with hot philosophy majors to shake it off.

[Coach]

Personally, I've been in a similar state for a while. Im younger (turning 25 this year), I have a good job but it's not what I want to do long term. I've lived my life in the safe lane kind of going along with the most practical decision rather than what I truely want and it's hurting right now. My real passion is in more creative endevours than my current position at a bank will likely lead. But I think what has helped is learning not to fret about what I can't control. What leaped out to me about your post is your fear of mortality combined with your faith crisis. I find that these things generally go hand in hand with people. Those who fear mortality turn to religion to look for an attempt at explaining mortality or give you hope of something beyond death. But the reality is you can't control these things. The sheer number of religions in the world will show you that not one of them is certain about any afterlife. You could walk out of your house and be killed by a car today, and what happens after that will certainly not depend on what you were worshipping earlier. What becomes of our mind after death is a mystery, but I think it's safe to assume that whatever it is, anywhere from riding rainbows in heaven to simply ceasing to exist anymore. And nothing you with your time on earth will make those any more certain until you get there. When you can accept that not knowing is OK, mortality will cease to be a factor. I can confidently say that I do not fear death. I fear pain, and the possible pain associated with dying, but actually no longer existing on earth doesn't frighten me and I am perfectly OK to find out what happens when it happens.

Just my 2 cents.

[J pold]

There is no spoon.

[Puppet Guy]

I go through it all the time. I just try to take joy from the simple things. Warren Zevon said to "enjoy every sandwich", and it's good advice.

[Vulcan]

I found a meditation group when I was 30. It's helped a lot, the meditation techniques, not so much the group. Meditation doesn't need to have a religious aspect, for me it's more about knowing myself. The more in the moment, the less my fears come awake.

[Nyah]

This happened to me in my early 20's too. Time was suddenly noticeably ticking by. I spent my entire childhood looking forward to getting older, summer vacation, get out of school, move out of my parents place, etc. Once all that happened, in a way I got a huge reality check that my life was rolling on, whether or not I was ready for it. At that point, my little brother (20 at the time) had a near death head injury which put him in the ICU for 3 weeks and the hospital for 2 months after that.

As soon as I knew he was going to be okay, everything I was stressed out about in my life came to a breaking point. I suddenly had severe panic attacks, panic disorder (where you have constant anxiety about having a panic attack), I was snappy with everyone and felt like my life was falling off the tracks. I had no idea what I wanted in terms of a career, I was in a relationship with someone I disliked because it was convenient, I started questioning everything...and I mean everything. Religion, science, happiness...The universe seemed way too big for me. I wouldn't go as far as to say I was depressed...but I certainly wasn't happy. The whole emotional thing, I totally get it. There was a while where I couldn't watch the news, otherwise I'd get anxiety. My brothers accident gave me a very close look at mortality. Being alive, then potentially not the next day. Getting dressed in the morning, potentially for the last time without knowing it. "Die? I can't die! Ever! Think of everything I'd miss!". But then my little bro just about did...what a reality check. Suddenly I wasn't invincible. Neither was anyone I loved.

It takes a lot of thinking and soul searching to get out of that state of mind. For me as far as the anxiety was concerned, mediation and yoga did WONDERS. You can't get your mind back on track until you get things like the depression and anxiety under control. Once those were in check, I was able to sit down and really think about my life with clarity. Honestly, I'm glad it happened for a lot of reasons:

- I can handle anxiety now
- I ditched the idea of God/religion and am 100% happier because of it
- I can now view mortality in a rational way. Yes, I'll die one day, the Earth has a 100% mortality rate. There is no escaping it. But it certainly gives more credence to the phrase 'Live Life to the Fullest'. I don't fear my own mortality anymore. I accept that it'll happen, but not before I have some fun.
- After some soul searching, I found a great career path and am following it happily.
- I got out of that lame relationship and ditched my negative friends. Who you surround yourself with is a huge factor in your happiness.
- I still question everything, but as a skeptic and not a cynic.

When you come out of whatever you're going through, you'll no doubt be older & wiser. Another thing I learned from my "Existential crisis" was that taking risks usually isn't as big of a deal as you think. Change is good, and keeps us moving. Anyways, that's my story.

[Northendzone]

from time to time i start wondering "there has got to be more to life than this", but then i guess i get caught up in everyday life again, and stop thinking about the existential stuff.

i will note that i creep slowly towards being 50, i have these thoughts more and more.....but i try and enjoy the little moments like listening to my daughter sing, or playing catch with my son, riding my bike, or doing stuff around the hosue - even though sometimes my kids drive me bonkers.....

sorry, i have no real answers for you......

[Peanut]

I'm going through something similar. I'm trying to come to terms with mortality, the purpose of life, what do I *really* want to do, etc but it's a real struggle. I just turned 32, but I think the existential questions really started in earnest after I had my second child about 7 months ago.

[Jbo]

I wouldn't say I am a religious person (although I do like the idea of it more then the alternative to merely cease to exist) but tend to think there is more to the universe then what we can observe. I also realize to MattyC's point that when it happens, I won't be around to know anyway, but that doesn't help make it any easier to understand or grasp while I am around!

Sigmund Freud claimed that we have defence mechanisms to naturally move our minds and protect us from this...I thought maybe mine stopped working.

[peter12]

First world problems.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by peter12

First world problems.

So what if it is?

Don't be a dick, Peter.

[Jbo]

Originally Posted by Nyah

This happened to me in my early 20's too. Time was suddenly noticeably ticking by. I spent my entire childhood looking forward to getting older, summer vacation, get out of school, move out of my parents place, etc. Once all that happened, in a way I got a huge reality check that my life was rolling on, whether or not I was ready for it. At that point, my little brother (20 at the time) had a near death head injury which put him in the ICU for 3 weeks and the hospital for 2 months after that.

As soon as I knew he was going to be okay, everything I was stressed out about in my life came to a breaking point. I suddenly had severe panic attacks, panic disorder (where you have constant anxiety about having a panic attack), I was snappy with everyone and felt like my life was falling off the tracks. I had no idea what I wanted in terms of a career, I was in a relationship with someone I disliked because it was convenient, I started questioning everything...and I mean everything. Religion, science, happiness...The universe seemed way too big for me. I wouldn't go as far as to say I was depressed...but I certainly wasn't happy. The whole emotional thing, I totally get it. There was a while where I couldn't watch the news, otherwise I'd get anxiety. My brothers accident gave me a very close look at mortality. Being alive, then potentially not the next day. Getting dressed in the morning, potentially for the last time without knowing it. "Die? I can't die! Ever! Think of everything I'd miss!". But then my little bro just about did...what a reality check. Suddenly I wasn't invincible. Neither was anyone I loved.

It takes a lot of thinking and soul searching to get out of that state of mind. For me as far as the anxiety was concerned, mediation and yoga did WONDERS. You can't get your mind back on track until you get things like the depression and anxiety under control. Once those were in check, I was able to sit down and really think about my life with clarity. Honestly, I'm glad it happened for a lot of reasons:

- I can handle anxiety now
- I ditched the idea of God/religion and am 100% happier because of it
- I can now view mortality in a rational way. Yes, I'll die one day, the Earth has a 100% mortality rate. There is no escaping it. But it certainly gives more credence to the phrase 'Live Life to the Fullest'. I don't fear my own mortality anymore. I accept that it'll happen, but not before I have some fun.
- After some soul searching, I found a great career path and am following it happily.
- I got out of that lame relationship and ditched my negative friends. Who you surround yourself with is a huge factor in your happiness.
- I still question everything, but as a skeptic and not a cynic.

When you come out of whatever you're going through, you'll no doubt be older & wiser. Another thing I learned from my "Existential crisis" was that taking risks usually isn't as big of a deal as you think. Change is good, and keeps us moving. Anyways, that's my story.

Great stuff...appriciate you typing that out.

[ruddstud]

sent you a PM...

[pylon]

I went through a phase where I wouldn't say I was scared of death, but more confused by the notion of it. What happens? What will it feel like? Where do my memories go? Etc..... My dad is at the age where he likely has 5-10 years left, and I asked how he coped with it. And he had very wise words, on how he came to grips with it, and he said "Do you remember what it was like before you were born? It will probably be just like that."

Ever since he said that, I really felt at peace about it. Not existing before, never hurt emotionally or physically, nor will it after.