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Old 09-25-2013, 07:03 AM   #1
Ark2
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First, let me just apologize for the length of this post. For those with the patience to read all of it, thank you.

A little background on the situation. My girlfriend is 23 and she and I have been dating for about a year and a half now.

In 2005, she was 15 years old and while waiting at a cross walk, a man in his mid to late twenties walked up beside her and asked her if she knew what time it was. He then began to tell her how beautiful she is to the point where she felt uncomfortable. As she began to cross the road, he followed behind her right on her heels, but they eventually went their separate ways.

A few weeks later, she ran into him again. As before, he asked her what time it was and then proceeded to tell her how beautiful and sexy she is. For the next couple of years, she would run into him once or twice a month, but nothing would happen beyond the scenarios described above. In 2007 however, she got on a city bus to go to work and he got on at the same time. The bus was fairly empty however he sat in front of her in a way that they were facing each other. He was wearing track pants and had an erection and he just sat there smiling at her. Things did not escalate beyond that but naturally she was terrified.

Later that year she moved away for school and did not see him during that time. About two years ago she moved back home and she had not run into him since, until last week. She works in retail and he was shopping at her store. While at the store, he didn’t acknowledge her and just continued shopping. However, 2 hours later when her shift ended, he was waiting for her outside the store and followed her to her car. As she got to her car, she turned around and confronted him, asking him what his problem is. He brushed her off and said he was just walking to the grocery store.

After hearing this, we talked it over and agreed that she should speak with the police. The police came over to her house Monday night and she told them all of the above. She also gave a physical description of the person, along with his license plate number. Last night, the police officer called her back and advised that the license plate is registered under someone’s name who is on the Sex Offender Registry. Because of privacy laws, he explained that he could not tell her the person’s name or where he lived (the Sex Offender Registry is kept private in Ontario). The officer asked her if she wanted to press charges and she said that she did. She’ll be going down to the police station this weekend to identify his picture out of a line-up and give a recorded interview about the events that took place. My question is, beyond this, what does pressing charges involve? Despite the fact that this whole situation scares both of us, I wouldn’t have thought that the above would be grounds for pressing charges. Is it different for sex offenders? Anyone have knowledge about this sort of thing?
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Old 09-25-2013, 07:16 AM   #2
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Sounds like it's probably a stalking offense (criminal harassment) they're considering charging him with. Presumably they'll give the recorded interview to the Crown who will determine whether the totality of what he did constitutes the elements of stalking. At first read it sounds like it probably does constitute harassment.

Assuming that the Crown decides to pursue the charge, your gf will likely have to testify at a trial unless the guy pleads guilty.
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Old 09-25-2013, 07:26 AM   #3
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Just goes to show that rehab is futile for some of these people. It may be for the best to go through with it (easy for me to say from outside) as who knows how many other girls this guy is harassing and how bad things could be for the next victim.
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Old 09-25-2013, 07:34 AM   #4
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I would assume that if the charges aren't going to stick, then at the very least she will be able to get a restraining order against him and then if he ever shows up again she can call the cops and they will take him in.
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Old 09-25-2013, 07:40 AM   #5
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You should beat the hell out of him and tell him what's up. This will impress your gf.
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Old 09-25-2013, 08:08 AM   #6
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Quote:
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Sounds like it's probably a stalking offense (criminal harassment) they're considering charging him with. Presumably they'll give the recorded interview to the Crown who will determine whether the totality of what he did constitutes the elements of stalking. At first read it sounds like it probably does constitute harassment.

Assuming that the Crown decides to pursue the charge, your gf will likely have to testify at a trial unless the guy pleads guilty.
That's not very likely. The police already visited the guy and he denied everything (naturally). This whole thing just pisses me off that she has to go through this, but if it keeps him away from her and other women then it will be worth it. I just hate the idea that he will view her as a threat to him now.
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Old 09-25-2013, 08:29 AM   #7
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That's not very likely. The police already visited the guy and he denied everything (naturally). This whole thing just pisses me off that she has to go through this, but if it keeps him away from her and other women then it will be worth it. I just hate the idea that he will view her as a threat to him now.
Now he is on the police's radar, if she sees him again I would say call the cops before he has the chance to even look at her funny. Cops will be there pretty quick since they have the back story now.
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Old 09-25-2013, 08:51 AM   #8
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I thought in Canada you can't 'press charges', only the police can do that?
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:19 AM   #9
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I thought in Canada you can't 'press charges', only the police can do that?

This is true. But the police have discretion for when to go after criminal charges. Looks like they consulted with his GF about what she wanted before going ahead with it.


And OP the police take matters like this very seriously, I've heard of lesser incidents receiving criminal charges. If it's true this guy is already a registered sex offender, it's possible he could be getting jail time. Don't dismiss what the police can do so quickly.
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:20 AM   #10
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You should beat the hell out of him and tell him what's up. This will impress your gf.
As funny as this is, its not a great idea.

With one of my gf's we caught a guy basically drilling holes in the ceiling of our shared duplex. He drilled holes over the bedroom and bathroom and cut a hole in the attic between the two halves so he could creep back and forth.

So while she did the right thing and called the cops, I did the totally wrong thing and thought I was doing the right thing when I confronted him physically.

I nearly got charged for that one. Fortunately it worked out. But its not worth doing anything physically in this country, you could end up serving more time then the scumbag does.

I felt bad for this creeps room mate though. The month after the creeps forced eviction, the room mate got a $2000.00 phone bill for 1-900 numbers.
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:23 AM   #11
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As funny as this is, its not a great idea.

With one of my gf's we caught a guy basically drilling holes in the ceiling of our shared duplex. He drilled holes over the bedroom and bathroom and cut a hole in the attic between the two halves so he could creep back and forth.

So while she did the right thing and called the cops, I did the totally wrong thing and thought I was doing the right thing when I confronted him physically.

I nearly got charged for that one. Fortunately it worked out. But its not worth doing anything physically in this country, you could end up serving more time then the scumbag does.

I felt bad for this creeps room mate though. The month after the creeps forced eviction, the room mate got a $2000.00 phone bill for 1-900 numbers.
Nice!
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:24 AM   #12
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I wish
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:37 AM   #13
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NSFW!
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:43 AM   #14
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This should be a violation of his probation, and a warrant should be issued for his arrest.
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:45 AM   #15
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If your gf is suitably creeped out would it be wise to get a restraining order against this guy. That way if things don't happen and he violates her space she has something to fall back on charges wise.
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:50 AM   #16
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If your gf is suitably creeped out would it be wise to get a restraining order against this guy. That way if things don't happen and he violates her space she has something to fall back on charges wise.
I actually asked the officer on Monday about getting a restraining order. He said it would have to go before a judge who would need to believe that my gf is in physical harm from this guy. However, this was before they found out he is a sex offender, so hopefully there would not be any issue in obtaining one.
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Old 09-25-2013, 10:03 AM   #17
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I would probably advise she purchase pepper spray or a tazer in case this guy tries to escalate things from stalking to something more serious. He would likely know who talked to the cops so I gather its a distinct possibility of another meeting.
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Old 09-25-2013, 10:05 AM   #18
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I would probably advise she purchase pepper spray or a tazer in case this guy tries to escalate things from stalking to something more serious. He would likely know who talked to the cops so I gather its a distinct possibility of another meeting.
The question I always ask is, how physically tough is she? These items do no good if she's afraid to use them on a person and freezes and this guy or another guy gets a hold on them and goes violent.

If she's not comfortable with them, a whistle or a compressed can air horn are an alternative.

If she's ok with using them, maybe she can test them on her significant other then fine, just make sure to check out the legalities of carrying these devices.
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Old 09-25-2013, 10:28 AM   #19
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The question I always ask is, how physically tough is she? These items do no good if she's afraid to use them on a person and freezes and this guy or another guy gets a hold on them and goes violent.

If she's not comfortable with them, a whistle or a compressed can air horn are an alternative.

If she's ok with using them, maybe she can test them on her significant other then fine, just make sure to check out the legalities of carrying these devices.
I may be mistaken, but I believe that both pepper spray and tasers are illegal to use as self defence against a person. With bear spray, I believe you have to sign a waiver stating that it will only be used for self defence against animals and not people. If you use it against a person, you can be charged. This is all just from what I have read online, so it's entirely possible that this is incorrect. At any rate, my gf is pretty clumsy, so even if it were legal, it might not be the best thing for her. I think I am going to pick up a whistle for her tonight after work. Thanks for the suggestion!
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Old 09-25-2013, 10:43 AM   #20
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I have dealt with situations very similar to this a few times in the past. One thing we always suggest to anyone who is facing a situation like this is some very basic self-defence training. We ran a course for years back in Winnipeg and a number of female participants would register only after an incident that hurt or scared them. I suggest you register for some basic self-defence, but make sure it has some credibility as there are many "women's defence" classes that are really just cash grabs. Find a legitimate trainer and explain what you need. There are a few basic wrist escapes, hug or upper body restraint escapes, and a few basic strikes that can make a huge difference if she is confronted. Even if all this training does is give her the presence of mind, if she gets spooked, to escape the situation. The training should focus on her escaping, not engaging further in the confrontation. I sincerely hope nothing more happens and you can both put this behind you, I also commend your willingness to pursue charges to ensure this person is not allowed to hurt others. Many people are too scared to follow through on this.
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