My wife is having a C-Section...tips?

[simmer2]

I know for most people this won't relate, but I could genuinely use some experience sharing about C-Sections and what to expect during and after.

I'm nervous as hell for the procedure and could use some input as to what it was like.

Can't wait to hold my son for the first time, but getting there seems pretty daunting!

[Minnie]

I had 3, though my last was almost 19 years ago, lol. What particulars are you exactly looking for?

Do you know if she's undergoing a general anaesthetic or having a spinal?

[sclitheroe]

If you think you will faint being in the room for the C-section, I'd seriously consider and discuss with your wife waiting outside - it's a quick procedure, and everyone, your wife included, will appreciate you having full clarity to enjoy the first moments and support your newly expanded family.

There isn't a lot of room in the OR, nor anywhere to escape once the ball gets rolling, and although they put up a screen across your wife's mid-section, there are plenty of tubes and suction machines and things that you'll be sitting right next to.

[simmer2]

She is having a spinal.

I honestly don't know if I will get overwhelmed by the whole scenario or not, that's what I am trying to play through my head.

I feel terrible leaving my wife and I don't know if I could live with not being in the room with her. At the same time, I'm honestly trying to know whether I can manage it or not.

[GGG]

We did two one unplanned the second planned.

It is pretty routine surgery, they give your wife an epidural essentially but stronger so she is still awake, they put you in scrubs, and you go into the operating room. There is a curtain between you an the cutting. So you are on one side with your wifes head and the surgeon, a surgical nurse, the baby doctor and baby nurse are all on the other side. They start cutting, bring the baby out, show it to you and your wife and then clean it off. When we had ours I then went with the baby for it to be weighed and measured while they closed up my wife. After weighing and measuring they put your baby in its cart and you wheel it back to recovery where your wife should be by now. Then they move you to the maternity ward. If everything proceeds normally your wife will be discharged in two or three days.

Afterwards at home your wife will be pretty useless for the first week she is out of surgery, no driving, no lifting, limited stairs etc so plan on being around constantly the first week. After a week my wife was getting back to normal but really took two full weeks before she was doing most things normally and six weeks before getting back into athletic activities. I would plan on taking two weeks off work or having some family available if you cant.

If you have a queezy stomach don't read the following

Spoiler!

When you are in the surgery room if you want you can look over or around the curtain. It is pretty awsome. During the C-section they take out the large and small intestine to get at the baby so it is just sitting out there in a pile outside the body. At least that is what I think I saw. The surgical nurse caught be looking and told me I wasn't supposed to watch. It is not for the faint of heart.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by simmer2

She is having a spinal.

I honestly don't know if I will get overwhelmed by the whole scenario or not, that's what I am trying to play through my head.

I feel terrible leaving my wife and I don't know if I could live with not being in the room with her. At the same time, I'm honestly trying to know whether I can manage it or not.

If you stay behind the curtain and don't look I don't see an issue. It smells kind of like a root canal when they cut the skin. I would try to be there as your wife will be nervous to and will still be able to feel pressure when they are pushing the baby out and rearranging her insides. So she is going through a much more uncomfortable experience than you are.

If you are squeamish watch one on first. I am sure they are available on the internet. Watch it two or three times to desensitize yourself.

[JiriHrdina]

Being in the room is no big deal - if you don't want to see anything you won't have to. They go to efforts to make sure that's the case.

Toughest part is that for the first 2 weeks you will be the baby's primary caregiver - the diapers, laundry, bottle prep all will fall to you (and any help you have) because she won't be able to do much. You'll also have to track her meds to make sure she doesn't let the pain get ahead of her. Stay on top of it - you don't need her in pain while also dealing with the little one.

It can be pretty overwhelming but you'll also form an immediate tight bond with your baby as you will do a lot more off the hop than some husbands do.

It'll be a very tough couple of weeks - but it'll get easier.

Don't be afraid to ask from help - hopefully you have family or friends that can run for groceries, pick up diapers or do anything else like that.

Final tip: quite often babies born via c-section lose more weight after birth than non c-section babies, and the mom's milk takes longer to come in. So you may have to get the baby on formula while still making sure the feedings are happening so the milk does come in. Don't let the health nurses freak you out if they tell you your baby has lost too much weight. Just get ready made formula (maybe make sure you have some ahead of time) and supplement with that to get the weight back up.

PM me if you have any questions now or even during - went through this a year ago so its all very fresh.

[Josh]

Ours was a planned C-section because my daughter was breach. My only advice is stay on the side of the curtain where your wife's head is and DON'T look over!!! Honestly my wife was completely freaked out by the whole thing but said it wasn't nearly as bad as she thought it would be in her mind. Recovery time was about 2 weeks, though she was really mobile after only a few days.

Be prepared to help a lot over the next two weeks, you will need to lift everything...

[calgarywinning]

Being there when the baby is born is witnessing something indescribable and fantastic which creates a significant bond.

Regardless of how the baby enters the world it's just a life altering event, experience and emotion. So to not be in the room is to miss out on this. However, understandable if you are squeamish.

[bc-chris]

simmer2 - first off - congrats!!!!

my wife had one 8 weeks ago.... what do you want to know?

this was my experience.....
my wife got wheeled into the o.r. i had to wait in the hall while they prepped her
someone came and got me
i sat down beside my wife's head. the only thing i could see other than her head was the big tarp they had drawn across her chest (i wasn't really into watching them pull my daughter out)
the doc's got our little girl out, gave her to the nurses who checked her over, cleaned her up and wrapped her like a taco (swaddled her... but i prefer wrapped like a taco)
they brought her over to us and plopped her into my arms (first time i've ever held a baby, let alone a new born!)
i showed her to my wife, then my daughter and i had to go to the recovery room to wait while they finished the c-section procedure
once they wheeled my wife into the recovery area they removed her robe from the waist up and put our daughter across her chest to help establish a 'skin to skin' bond
after maybe an hour in the recovery area we were taken to a hospital room and that's when the recovery starts

my wife was pretty out of it becuz of the spinal

don't be alarmed if your wife's milk doesn't come in right away. it took my wife's body a couple days to realize that, 'hey... i've got a kid to feed!' (i guess the whole going into labour helps the body prep not just for deliverey, but for post delivery too... and with a c-section her body goes from pregnant one moment to 'mom' the next)

one big thing to remember is that a c-section is a fairly substantial surgery. it was tough for my wife (she hates asking for help) but for a good week she really had to depend on me to do everything for her

we had a constant rotation of nurses so i pretty much got out of changing those first few nasty 'black tar' diapers! good times!!!!

like i said earlier, it's been 8 weeks... my wife still has to be careful with lifting things so i'm still doing most of the lifting of anything over 10-15lbs

enjoy those first few days/weeks... they are AWESOME!!! take lots of pictures too. i can't believe how much our little girl has grown in just the first 8 weeks!!

minutes old....



day 1....



8 weeks, 2 days....



don't be shy about asking questions.... i'll answer them as best i can

[Josh]

bc-chris, That onsie is AWESOME!!!

[WilderPegasus]

Originally Posted by Josh

Be prepared to help a lot over the next two weeks, you will need to lift everything...

Small price to pay to avoid vaginal expansion.

[Minnie]

Originally Posted by simmer2

She is having a spinal.

I honestly don't know if I will get overwhelmed by the whole scenario or not, that's what I am trying to play through my head.

I feel terrible leaving my wife and I don't know if I could live with not being in the room with her. At the same time, I'm honestly trying to know whether I can manage it or not.

My first was an emerg situation so we won't bother going into that except to say my husband wasn't allowed into the OR for that one. Not relevant. My second and third were planned. I had general anaesthetic for the first two, spinal for the last.

My easiest recovery was the last, where I had the spinal.

I 'checked in' the night before my surgeries (well, with the first, I was already there and in labor, lol). There may or may not be some shaving and enemas involved. It seems to depend on the hospital. They will get an IV started fairly quickly - this is where my husband had problems and nearly passed out, hahaha. I suggest eating before any of this. Your wife won't be able to, but you should. Mine hadn't and I think that was part of the problem.

They will likely take her in to the OR and get the spinal in place, before having you come in. Typically, at least in our experience, your wife will already be draped or mostly draped. They'll have you come sit by her head. You may or may not be able to hold her hand. They'll let you know that they are starting and for us, they also told us what the noises are. You will hear suctioning noises, because they are suctioning the amniotic fluid out. Our surgeons all played music as well so there was a fair amount of noise. We found the ORs to be quite cool, as well.

They should tell you that they are about to pull the baby out. They may or may not show you the little one over top of the curtain before taking him to the baby table (can't remember what that thing is called). For us, they left a fair length of the cord, so that my husband could cut it - they may do that for you as well. You don't have to if you don't want to. Be prepared for it to be a lot tougher than you'd think, if you decide you want to cut it. They'll check baby's APGAR scores, weigh and measure him, bundle him and slap a little stocking cap on him. After that, you'll probably get to hold him, and show him to your wife, put his little face up to hers for a nuzzle, if she wants.

By that point, you probably won't even take much note of what everyone else is doing - you and your wife will be focused on the little man. You'll get to go with the nurses to take him down to the nursery and if anyone is waiting for you in the kiss&cry area, you get to go out and tell everyone all the details, while they finish up with your wife's section.

With a spinal (I just had another one last June for hernia surgery), they will not have her up and around right away. They have you lay flat for a bit, and they typically raise the head of the bed up by degrees. It's to avoid a spinal headache. Those are teh suck. Take the worst migraine you've ever had and multiply it by 100 and you'll come close to what they feel like. When she is able, they will encourage her to get up as soon as she is allowed and get moving. This is imperative - it will help her heal faster. I found that taking a towel and folding it up and holding it against my abdoment/incision area, helped it feel a little less like everything's suddenly going to fall out. You could even bring a small pillow from home for this. She may need help getting to the washroom and help getting seated. It will all depend on her. Like I said, everyone is different, so just follow her cues/requests for help.

She may be started off on an all liquids diet and then move to solids. It really depends on the hospital, again. When she can have solid food, if she asks you to go get her pizza, get her some pizza, lol. Or egg rolls. Or ice cream or whatever she wants.

Typically, doctors will tell you about 6 weeks of recovery time and that she shouldn't be lifting any more than the weight of the baby. So no lifting, no lifting baby in the car seat, no vacuuming, none of that, is what we were told - in fact, I got chewed out for lifting my kid in their car seat, but good. C-sections can be a bugbear to recover from, but everyone is different. She should still follow the doctor's 6 week recovery frame if that's what she is told. She doesn't want to crash and burn and you don't want her to either. Tell her not to be tough where the pain is concerned - if she is given meds for that, she should take them exactly as prescribed, even for a couple to three days after she might think she doesn't need them. Also, if the meds are Tylenol 3s or stronger, get some stool softener to have waiting at home - those meds tend to stop a person up and she doesn't want to be dealing with constipation with that sort of surgery to recover from.

Be prepared for some baby blues within the first week. This is normal. Her hormones are still whacked, and if she's going to be breastfeeding, she will be dealing with all of that too. Sometimes that's easy, sometimes it's not. Be prepared to be support to her.

Anything else? My husband has seen more of my insides than I have, haha. The surgical site didn't bother him - just the IV. *snort*

[First Lady]

Originally Posted by GGG

If you have a queezy stomach don't read the following

Spoiler!

When you are in the surgery room if you want you can look over or around the curtain. It is pretty awsome. During the C-section they take out the large and small intestine to get at the baby so it is just sitting out there in a pile outside the body. At least that is what I think I saw. The surgical nurse caught be looking and told me I wasn't supposed to watch. It is not for the faint of heart.

I have never heard of that. Could it have been the cord and placenta perhaps?

[GGG]

Originally Posted by First Lady

I have never heard of that. Could it have been the cord and placenta perhaps?

Could have been but there appeared to be a long white tube that appeared to be like a long intestine that you would see on TV. But I don't know what is exposed. The placenta and cord were definitely identifiable separate from that. But I only watched for a minute and my memory may not remember it correctly because it was quite off-putting.

[calgarywinning]

Congrats to bc-chris! Love the outfit at the end.

[simmer2]

Really appreciate everyone sharing so openly.
I honestly have learned a ton from this thread so thanks people for taking the time.

[RedMileDJ]

Our son was breach so we had no choice. The entire procedure took less than 10 minutes.

Just don't look. Serious. Don't.

DO NOT LOOK!!!

Edit: and to add, be prepared to do a lot of lifting for the first 2 to 3 weeks. Your wife may also throw up in the first hour after the procedure.

Oh, and don't look.

[Minnie]

Also? You are going to rock this dad thing. And congrats. Make sure you come back with the details and some pictures if you can.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by First Lady

I have never heard of that. Could it have been the cord and placenta perhaps?

did you ask if they were going to keep that?