googling a date or an ex

[Badger Bob]

OK, there are a lot of articles on this topic. We all know it's widespread, that we've done it or had it done to us. It's time to share thoughts and stories!

Sorry, was on a different computer, earlier today, and wasn't able to locate the source (by googling, of course ). If anybody wants to link to articles or blogs, please do, to help the discussion.

Most of the recommendations were of the "don't do it" variety for a new date, mostly because of invasion of privacy and that it could give skewed/false impression.

Here's what got me thinking: one comment was about googling an ex for the reason that the aging process is sometimes not kind. This reminded me of somebody from long ago. We've had no contact in years and live in different cities. Something possessed me to google her. No, there was no schadenfreude. Seeing her face actually sort of disgusted me. The passage of time was not kind. Don Cherry voice, "for all you kids out there, the way she looks in her 20's is no indication of how she'll be past 35!"

[Methanolic]

Hmm.

I Sense stage 5 creepy clinger.

...just sayin'

[Nage Waza]

What?

[blankall]

Originally Posted by Methanolic

Hmm.

I Sense stage 5 creepy clinger.

...just sayin'

Disagree.

It is totally normal behaviour to google both exes and dates.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by blankall

Disagree.

It is totally normal behaviour to google both exes and dates.

No, it's weird.

[blankall]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

No, it's weird.

In terms of dates, I would say it's reccomended behaviour. You should also facebook them.

When it comes to exes, it depends on the motivation and the frequency.

[Northendzone]

Personally I don't see googling a date as a big deal - just keep an open mind about whatever you find......

[Badger Bob]

Originally Posted by blankall

In terms of dates, I would say it's reccomended behaviour. You should also facebook them.

You're right. Absolutely no diff. b/tw googling and FBing them.

Maybe a rule of thumb is def. not before 1st date or until there's a relationship forming in order to take that leap. If it's innocent, like just to learn more, what's the harm? If it's something serious, like a background check, and there's a discovery of something incriminating (bankrupcty, criminal charges, etc.) then that's another matter.

Originally Posted by blankall

When it comes to exes, it depends on the motivation and the frequency.

If it's of the "wonder what happened to ________?" variety, then it's perfectly normal, like you said.

[GoinAllTheWay]

Yet another example of how dating is like applying for a job. Put your resume out there, go to a few interviews, and now do some background checks and hopefully land the position (eheh). I get it....not a bad idea to get an idea as to what kind of person your potential date is but kinda takes the "dating" part out of it. I liked the mystery of a new person and finding out things about them as you go along. Yes, it can burn you from time to time but that's the game.

[CaramonLS]

Thedirty.com

[FanIn80]

You know what else is awesome? When you're on a first date with someone you just met, and she starts to tell you one of her high school stories, and then you jump in and finish her story for her.

That ALWAYS wins extra points with the ladies.

[gargamel]

I used to google girls before dates, but there was one who had done some fascinating stuff in her life, and it sucked having to decide between letting her know that I'd googled her and pretending to be surprised when she told me the stories, so I stopped doing that for a while.

After that, I went through a period where I wouldn't do any internet searching about girls before dates. That seemed to work well until I went to add a girl on Facebook after a few, um, "successful" dates and saw Relationship Status: Married.

Checking the Facebook relationship status to clear my conscience but otherwise not doing any searching is the compromise I've settled on for now.

[Badger Bob]

Originally Posted by gargamel

After that, I went through a period where I wouldn't do any internet searching about girls before dates. That seemed to work well until I went to add a girl on Facebook after a few, um, "successful" dates and saw Relationship Status: Married.

This requires additional details.

[gargamel]

Originally Posted by Badger Bob

This requires additional details.

I'd never seen any signs of a boyfriend or husband, so I'm not sure what the story was. I called her after seeing her Facebook page and she claimed that her marriage was just on paper for immigration purposes, but that the immigration people check Facebook to look for evidence that marriages are shams. I have no idea whether that's even a plausible story, but I wasn't convinced and never saw her again. I don't hold myself to the highest moral standards, but I'd never knowingly go out with a married woman.

[TorqueDog]

By the time I know a date well enough to know her last name, I probably know whether or not I want to keep dating her.

Obviously this would really only apply to girls one meets in random situations. If you have previous contact with this person (mutual friend), you probably know both a) their last name and b) if you actually want to date them.

[To Be Quite Honest]

Personally, for some of my ex's I want to know if they are doing well. Sure, perhaps we didn't work out but that doesn't mean I wish ill upon them. So I google them and see. Usually once every year or two.

[Minnie]

Don't need to google any of mine, lol. One's dead, one's married and lives an hour from me (talked with him and his wife a few weeks ago), and the other's divorced and I get details on his life every so often as he's friends with extended family.

[Rathji]

This really isn't the same thing but I once found an old crush on Facebook and added her. The next day my wife asks me how I know her, so I explain I went to school with her from grade 1 through High school.

My wife then says that they have known each other for quite a while, belonging to a bike club together and knowing her husband's family.

[pylon]

LOL, who googled an ex after reading this thread?

I did.

[krynski]

never googled. Have facebooked.