I have never been "friend zoned". I think it usually stems from guys who are too shy or not confident enough to handle the relationship in the early stages, so the girl never thinks of them that way. Give up the chase gentlemen.
An environment in which a person encounters only beliefs or opinions that coincide with their own, so that their existing views are reinforced and alternative ideas are not considered.
As a heads up, the current view from many girls nowadays when it comes to the 'friend zone' is that "women aren't machines that you insert kindness tokens into until sex falls out."
Never been friend zoned, and don't think I've done it to anybody, but I think I can understand the angst of pining over someone unrequitedly. It's just when a guy gets angry, or starts complaining about this friend zone stuff that I would feel apprehensive of what exactly he thinks this girl owes him.
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how I avoided it was to play a game or do something fun. Something like pool, when playing playfully make physical contact. If she responds and touches you back you are basically in for sex already and the rest is not screwing it up. Solved that problem entirely because you find out instantly if she'll have sex with you and you don't come off as creepy or too forward just playing a game.
'The Friend Zone' is a term that gets thrown around a lot as if every relationship to which the term applies is exactly the same. I like to think of it as a spectrum. On one end is where guys think that just by being nice to a girl, she should reward him with sex. On the other end is when a girl knowingly leads a guy on, taking advantage of his friendship and affection. Of course, you can swap/mix genders as necessary.
I haven't really been friend zoned but one of my best friends got friend zoned bad and he got hurt big time. This is a legit true story that made the last year and a half of high school insanely interesting. My friend knew this girl for years and wanted to be with her for such a longtime but of course she had a boyfriend and only saw him as a friend. I first met her a couple of years after he did. She is a very attractive girl and i'll admit i liked her to but once i found out she had a boyfriend i stayed away. So once she broke up with her boyfriend my friend finally thought he had a chance and BOOM! they get back together.
Seriously, this girl was using him like a dog. She had him and under a crazy spell. He must have wasted over $2,000 bucks on her when she literally had no interest in him. And it wasn't just my friend, she had other guys who had the hots for her too (including me for a short amount of time). Still confused as in why all of these guys fell over her. Shes pretty and a good person but overall she's not that great and very manipulative (as i mentioned earlier). Also she's a pretty big attention whore (you should see her facebook account)
Anyhow here comes the part that really changed everything. During the beginning of last school year she got pregnant from her boyfriend and it pretty much made things very uncomfortable around our group of friends. It was really dumb in how protective of her he was. He didn't want anyone to know she was knocked up when she honestly didn't care who knew. She eventually left school to raise her child and i hoped my friend could move on from it but things got worst for him. He started suffering from depression (not shocking considering the type of family he lives with and what happened with this girl, apparently more happened behind the scenes that he doesn't want to talk about) and skipped a lot of school and eventually got expelled for lack of attendance.
Anyhow he's back in school but he has to spend another year and a half their and will be 20 when he graduates. I really hope that i don't ever fall for a girl this hard that i know i have no chance with. I still can't believe that he completely pushed aside school because of all of this that happened. This story really proves that the friend zone can be a dark, dark place.
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Last edited by Hockey_Ninja; 09-08-2012 at 03:07 AM.
You call it "friendzone" I call it "long game". Short game is hard work, good impressions are near impossible when you're a loud mouthed obnoxious #######, but girls feel all tickled pink when they think they're breaking walls down and getting inside your head.
All through junior high and high school I was firmly placed in the friend zone. I heard all the standard stuff "just too good of friends", "you're like a brother", etc. I became what Brad Blanton refers to as Liars Committing Suicide where you lie to yourself so convincingly that it's like you cover your own tracks and don't even realize you're doing it. The transaction in my mind was the nicer I am the more she will like me, so if I just be really nice then she will have to like me. Of course this almost never works and I became bitter and resentful not only towards her but all women in general.
Towards the end of high school and after so many years of frustration I just said f*&k it and gave up. Not surprisingly after that I started dating another girl which gave me a lot more confidence with women in general. Fast forward a few years after graduation, me and the original girl still talk but something had changed. I wasn't Mr. Nice Guy, I gave up all the manipulated behavior from the past, I didn't feel like she owed me anything. Then one night I was over at her place and we ended up hooking up. We dated for about a year and a half after that. What's funny is the relationship was pretty terrible and the only reason it strung out so long was because of all the baggage from the past.
So as a guy who has escaped the friend zone is this my advice is this. What you need to realize is that she isn't manipulating you; you are manipulating her, and despite what people on the internet tell you it's not impossible to get out but it's probably not worth it either.
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So question, do people here think it is possible to be just friends with a girl. I certainly think so, but you hear a lot of "guys and girls cant just be friends, one of them wants something from the other". So with all this FZ talk around here I'm curious what CP thinks, all the girls you know are you either having sex with them or you want to be. Or is there a third option where you can truly be friends?
All through junior high and high school I was firmly placed in the friend zone. I heard all the standard stuff "just too good of friends", "you're like a brother", etc. I became what Brad Blanton refers to as Liars Committing Suicide where you lie to yourself so convincingly that it's like you cover your own tracks and don't even realize you're doing it. The transaction in my mind was the nicer I am the more she will like me, so if I just be really nice then she will have to like me.
From my perspective as a guy, there's no friend zoning a girl. If I'm not attracted to you / don't think we'd be good in a relationship then that's that. You can do whatever you'd like and I will appreciate the nice things you do, but that in no way changes our situation. If down the road we end up meeting again after a period away and we've both changed and a relationship seems viable, then that changes things. Do you think that's what happened with you?
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Originally Posted by Swarly
So question, do people here think it is possible to be just friends with a girl. I certainly think so, but you hear a lot of "guys and girls cant just be friends, one of them wants something from the other". So with all this FZ talk around here I'm curious what CP thinks, all the girls you know are you either having sex with them or you want to be. Or is there a third option where you can truly be friends?
When I was single there was always a drive for sex. Anyone attractive enough. That extended to friends, but rationally it would be really stupid to just use a friend for sex. Even if two friends are in separate relationships I think that still exists, it's just an evolutionary drive that you have to rationally eliminate from your mind.
An environment in which a person encounters only beliefs or opinions that coincide with their own, so that their existing views are reinforced and alternative ideas are not considered.
So question, do people here think it is possible to be just friends with a girl. I certainly think so, but you hear a lot of "guys and girls cant just be friends, one of them wants something from the other". So with all this FZ talk around here I'm curious what CP thinks, all the girls you know are you either having sex with them or you want to be. Or is there a third option where you can truly be friends?
My best friend in the entire world is a girl. If I were to get married tomorrow she would be my best (wo)man. Neither of us is interested in the other. I'm friends with her boyfriend, and she's friends with my girlfriend. Opposite sexes just being friends is absolutely possible, and generally totally rewarding.
My best friend in the entire world is a girl. If I were to get married tomorrow she would be my best (wo)man. Neither of us is interested in the other. I'm friends with her boyfriend, and she's friends with my girlfriend. Opposite sexes just being friends is absolutely possible, and generally totally rewarding.
Check out this dude, friend zoned to the exxxxxtreme!
There definitly is a friend zone, but I think the way it's thrown so much after it became big on the internet, it seems sometimes guys mistake the friend zone for a friend that's a girl.
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The Friend Zone
