Annoying Co-workers

[me_dennis]

What are your stories of co-workers that drive you absolutely insane?

I''ll start...

I have a co-worker who sits in the cube next to mine. All day long he talks on his phone in his native language, trying to be sly about it, but he's not kidding anyone. He also likes to drink pop during lunch, usually letting out a huge belch or two. He sniffles all the time. And he doesn't turn his cell phone on silent or vibrate at work, so when his phone rings (multiple times a day) the whole floor gets to hear "Michael Buble - Sway"

drive's me absolutely insane!!!!

[NuclearPizzaMan]

My immediate neighbor likes to spend his days on the phone with friends talking about chemtrails and false flag operations. No tin foil hat, yet.

[Hockeyguy15]

The old man across the hall that coughs, and then hock's a loogie.

[Coach]

Girl next to me is dating a guy who is not-quite-yet-divorced with a young boy. Ill I hear all day is her complaining about things that seem pretty standard to me. "Ugh, my boyfriend's ex came over the other night. It was sooo awkward" turns into a 20 minute whining session about how shes not ready for all this business.

Not ready to deal with a boyfriends ex-wife? Dont date previously married guys

Not ready to deal with the responsibilities of a young child? Dont date guys with kids

All these things were present before you started dating him so shut up you got yourself in this supposed mess.

[me_dennis]

Originally Posted by Hockeyguy15

The old man across the hall that coughs, and then hock's a loogie.

there's always one person who does that!

[crazy_eoj]

Our offices share a thermostat, as such there's one in every other office. Of course, the thermostat is in my office and my neighbor is a 50 year old smoker who makes multiple trips outside every day while simultaneously going through menopause.

At least once a week, probably more often, she comes into my office and gives me hell for changing the temperature. She stares at the thermostat, fiddles with it a bit, and then shoots me a dirty look before returning to her bat cave.

I kid you not, I have never, not even ONCE, changed the thermostat nor touched it in any manner. I tell her this every time but I swear she's OCD.

[GP_Matt]

Originally Posted by crazy_eoj

Our offices share a thermostat, as such there's one in every other office. Of course, the thermostat is in my office and my neighbor is a 50 year old smoker who makes multiple trips outside every day while simultaneously going through menopause.

At least once a week, probably more often, she comes into my office and gives me hell for changing the temperature. She stares at the thermostat, fiddles with it a bit, and then shoots me a dirty look before returning to her bat cave.

I kid you not, I have never, not even ONCE, changed the thermostat nor touched it in any manner. I tell her this every time but I swear she's OCD.

If you are getting dressed down for something that you didn't do the only solution is to start doing it. As soon as she leaves give it a tap in the opposite direction. That or put a lock box around the thermostat.

[GreatWhiteEbola]

nm

[Bean]

- One person clips their nails at work and leaves the clippings in his cubicle floor.
- One person has a water fountain to 'drown out' noise; which then gurgles and makes even worse sounds when she forgets to keep the water level high enough.
- One person (who is super religious) uses the lord's name in vain strewn within her cusswords and bad mouthing. I am not religious but I'm offended just to hear what she says. ...Oh yeah, and then she duplicates everything in her mother tongue.
- One person speaks as if she is a 16 year old valley girl. You know the type, where every statement is a question?
- Oh yeah, old, negative guy that won't leave you alone; even when the conversation is done and it is clear that it is time to get back to work. He lurks and waits...for anything else to be negative about.

[JohnnyNipshank]

We have some ethnic employees in the office that love to warm up some nasty fish dishes in the microwave during lunch and stink up the whole office.

The other thing that drives me bat#### crazy is an employee who is barely in her office leaves her phone on loud and her bf/husband will call over and over and over until she comes back to her office to pick it up.

[Ozy_Flame]

The guy who is always in the kitchen, and hovering around the sink / coffee machine just greeting people as they come in for their morning brew. He's there at 10, 12, 2, and 4 for snacks, lunch, and cleanup respectively.

Not sure what he gets paid to do, unless it is crowding me when I don't want to talk to anyone first thing in the morning.

[Nyah]

1. Perfume & cologne...especially when I can smell it in MY office.

2. When I receive an email from a coworker who's grammar is horrible, and who can't differentiate between
- they're, there & their
- your & you're

3. The woman who sits in the office next to me seems to have a compulsion to file her nails every five minutes. And it's loud.

4. I always end up getting stuck going down the elevator with the socially awkward accounting guy who only ever talks about the kind of food he ate yesterday. Then I get stuck walking through the +15's with him until I can head off to the nearest store/restaurant.

[RedCoffee]

Lady next to me talks about her family non-stop.

If she asks "How was your weekend" it's only so she can talk about her weekend.
If she asks "How is your mom" it's only so she can talk about her mom.

Whenver her son gets a boner, I know about it!

[OffsideSpecialist]

There was one woman I worked in an office with one summer that looked like a blow up doll. I was just there for a semester, but word around the office was that she had fake boobs, and it was fairly obvious since they were so out of proportion from the rest of her body. She also has the highest pitch voice I've ever heard a human being have. She sounded like Minnie Mouse on helium. In addition, I'm not sure what she actually did, since it seemed she just walked around the office talking to people all day.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by GreatWhiteEbola

Working in an office now... there is one lady who works reception of some sort...she talks in baby talk. Drives me freaking crazy every time I hear it, I want to punch her in the mind!

"Corporate Accounts Payable Nina speaking.....just a moment!"

[polak]

I got moved recently so I'm surrounded by exclusively older women. Individually, none of them are bad but being a 23 year old guy surrounded by women of whom the youngest is in her early 40's and most are in their 50's, is a nightmare.

Especially when your last jobs were all dominated by dudes and/or young people, where swearing, joking around and otherwise inappropriate behaviour was the norm.

[blankall]

Originally Posted by OffsideSpecialist

There was one woman I worked in an office with one summer that looked like a blow up doll. I was just there for a semester, but word around the office was that she had fake boobs, and it was fairly obvious since they were so out of proportion from the rest of her body. She also has the highest pitch voice I've ever heard a human being have. She sounded like Minnie Mouse on helium. In addition, I'm not sure what she actually did, since it seemed she just walked around the office talking to people all day.

As long as she also behaves like a blow-up doll, I'd be fine with it.

[Coach]

Originally Posted by polak

I got moved recently so I'm surrounded by exclusively older women. Individually, none of them are bad but being a 23 year old guy surrounded by women of whom the youngest is in her early 40's and most are in their 50's, is a nightmare.

Especially when your last jobs were all dominated by dudes and/or young people, where swearing, joking around and otherwise inappropriate behaviour was the norm.

I was in this situation for a few years as well, when I was actually younger (between 20-22) and I initially was like this. Especially because the amount of "thats what she said" jokes that I had to let pass every day was staggering (just because of the content we wrok with) but I could never make them. One thing I will say though, it is invaluable having those older women see you as a respectable young man vs a young hooligan. but also remember, they were young people too once. Its not like they can't take a joke.

[Bertuzzied]

How the crap can your offices not have a policy to have your cell phones on vibrate or mute?

Pink slips for everyone!

[Super Nintendo Chalmers]

A co-worker who is not longer there:

• Would clip her nails in her carpool partner's car;
• Would road rage from the passenger seat and lean over to honk the horn when the car she's in is cut off;
• Went into the men's room to put up a handwritten reminder to flush;
• Writes the dates of her menstrual cycles on the staff vacation calendar.