How to Shower

[Eagle Eye]

Enjoy

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real
passionfruit.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ***.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

[StoneCole]

wow, it's so accurate (at least the man part). Especially the parts about the fart and how it sounds, as well as the butt hairs and the scratching. Very insightful.

[Clarkey]

Yeah that pretty much nails it on the head, this has to be one of the funniest things I've seen on the internet.

[Mccree]

So true. Thanks for posting that. The laughing almost made me for get about my hangover.

[SoulOfTheFlame]

roflmao

[I-Hate-Hulse]

Cue Faid in 3....2....1.....

[lucid]

lol But it's missing a part.
The part where after the man throws wet towel on bed, wife proceeds to yell at husband, not only for being a slob and being inconsiderate, but putting her in a bad mood after the nice, relaxing shower she had earlier.

[CaptainCrunch]

You forgot the part where we flip the toilet seat up on the way out of the bathroom, while putting a fresh roll of TP on backwards

[Mango]

What a riot

[MrMastodonFarm]

That's hilarious, some of those things made me laugh out loud pretty good.

[Eddie Bronze]

Hey, when I was in college, we did an interview with a girl who was taking a course in hair styling and she said it was much better for your hair if you only use shampoo every other time you shower, based on the assumption you shower once a day. She said overuse of shampoo can cause more damage than good. Just thought I'd through that in there for anyone who might care or didn't know.