When did you start to feel "grown up"?

[Yasa]

I saw this on Reddit, and it's a pretty legitimate question. Through out many of the threads here, there have been questions and posts asking and giving advice on a wealth of subjects. We have members of all ages with an amazing amount of experiences, willing to shed any tidbits of wisdom they happen to have. So my question is; when do you start truely feeling like an adult?

I'm nearly 24, and to be quite honest I feel mentally closer to 16 than I do 30. I'm sure many of you have come to that conclusion based on 90% of my posts alone. I know many of my friends reflect the same feeling, and I can't quite foresee a time when I won't feel like a lost kid. I don't really expect there to be a single day that I wake up and think "oh wow, I get it now" nor do I really have an idea of what that feeling would be; but what I have noticed is there is a vast difference between somebody that is an adult, vs somebody like myself; aka a kid in an adult body.

I've had people tell me that having kids can be the life-changing event that brings them into "adult hood", or that some people simply never grow up.

(taken from the Reddit thread)

Originally Posted by Joe Rogan

Remember back when you were a kid, and you thought there were actually people that knew what this thing we call “life” was really all about? Remember when you thought there really were “grown ups?”

Then, all of a sudden one day you become a “grown up” yourself and the terrifying revelation occurs to you that there really are no “grown ups,” just kids that got old and had kids of their own, and no one really knows what the #### is going on.

I have plans to take a large trip to another part of the world early next year, and I keep flipping between being extremely excited and full of anticipation to anxious and terrified. (And to reflect on another thread - I am paying for it myself.) I often wonder, could this be what kick starts me into growing the #### up?

What do you guys think? The older posters especially. When did you guys start feeling like an adult? From a young age, old age, marriage, kids? Is there a defining time in ones life when you actually become that hardened responsible adult that kids (such as myself) look up to and respect?

[Kybosh]

Feeling anxious before a big trip is normal. I doubt you'll be a "grown up" after the trip, but it probably change the way you see things.

Who ever becomes a grown up anyway? All I see are people who become complacent and those who do not.

[GirlySports]

Never! Still a kid!

See?

[MrMastodonFarm]

When my balls started hitting the toilet water.

[FanIn80]

When my balls started hitting MMF's toilet water.

[Hack&Lube]

I don't think I will feel grownup until I become a homeowner probably. Being grown up means self-determination, responsibility, and a huge mortgage to crush you, etc.

[WhiteTiger]

I felt like a grownup when I landed in Calgary to go to college after leaving my parents place in Ontario.

[mrdonkey]

You will know what it means to be a man when every remaining part of your soul is systematically crushed by the responsibilities of work, family, and bill payments.

If you can even think of going on vacation without having to worry about who will take care of the kids, getting time off from the office, and dealing with the wife nagging you because that money would be better spent fixing up the house, then you are not there yet. Savor it while you still can.

[Lobotroth]

I'm around your age as well and I would say I felt "grown-up" when I moved out on my own a few years ago. I don't think anybody reaches a point in their life where they feel like "this is it, I'm grown-up and I don't need to learn or experience anything else". Maybe it comes down to responsibilty, living on your own can be a challenge, working to pay rent and eat, etc. isn't easy and it forces you to lose some bad habits from your teenage years. I personally wouldn't ever go back to that time of my life, I miss my early childhood years but being where I am now and making all of own decisions is a fantastic place to be.

[calumniate]

Whatever you do don't spend your life trying to be 'grown up'. There is plenty of time for that

[OffsideSpecialist]

Probably not until I'm done school. This summer I felt all grownup waking up at 6:30 every morning and commuting across the city on the bus with all the government people...and then school came again and now I'm back to drinking every other night and sleeping in until 2:00 on weekends....so I still have a while to go.

[gargamel]

I'm 29 now and have always considered myself to still be a kid. I went on a date with a 21 year old last week and she kept wanting to get high and go to dance clubs, and I kept thinking, "I'm too old for this ####." So I guess I'm a grownup now.

[Shin Pad]

I'm 58 now. Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional

[Cheese]

as above with Mr Shin Pad, Im 55 and able to afford all the luxuries I want or need....makes it MUCH easier NOT to grow up.

[pylon]

I am 37 now, but my moment was defining. It was when I was 21 years old. My 5 year old nephew was sitting on my lap in the Rockyview hospital intensive care waiting room. Minutes earlier we had shut off life support for my sister as she was determined brain dead. Watching the vital signs tick away is not as fast, or simple as TV depicts. It takes a while. The doctor that was caring for my sister (his mother) walked in, kneeled down in front of Kevin and told him that his mother was gone and would not be coming back. He was just old enough to understand, and I had to be the strongest I ever was in my life to comfort him, and not break into hysterics myself. I knew at that moment that I had no choice but to grow up, and be the most caring, supportive, uncle I could ever be. I had to be a combination of a big brother and a surrogate father, as my niece and nephews fathers were both, well.....losers.

At the end of the day, between he support of mainly my folks who raised them and partially myself who was available any time they ever needed help, both kids have grown up to be awesome young adults.

Anyway October 25 1995, was the day I became a man.

[Yasa]

Originally Posted by Lobotroth

I'm around your age as well and I would say I felt "grown-up" when I moved out on my own a few years ago. I don't think anybody reaches a point in their life where they feel like "this is it, I'm grown-up and I don't need to learn or experience anything else". Maybe it comes down to responsibilty, living on your own can be a challenge, working to pay rent and eat, etc. isn't easy and it forces you to lose some bad habits from your teenage years. I personally wouldn't ever go back to that time of my life, I miss my early childhood years but being where I am now and making all of own decisions is a fantastic place to be.

Don't get me wrong, I do live on my own (my parents live in a different country) and have lived on my own for the last 4.5 years. I have certain responsiblilities and obligations but none of it makes me feel really grown up.

Mostly I just find it an interesting question because there is no definable answer, and it's unique to everyone when they realized they were an adult.

[DownhillGoat]

I'm pushing 30, have a mortgage, been through college twice, divorced once.
I still don't consider myself 'grown-up'.

Older, yes. But that's about it.

[Lobotroth]

Originally Posted by Yasa

Don't get me wrong, I do live on my own (my parents live in a different country) and have lived on my own for the last 4.5 years. I have certain responsiblilities and obligations but none of it makes me feel really grown up.

Mostly I just find it an interesting question because there is no definable answer, and it's unique to everyone when they realized they were an adult.

I guess my question then would be, do you know what it would take to get you to a place mentally where you feel grown-up? If you think about it the only person keeping you from feeling that way is yourself, do you care what other people think of how you act? So you behave more like a teenager, big deal, you're living your life and doing the things you want to do, no? Are your actions destructive towards other people around you ie. friends and family? You don't have to answer my questions obviously but it's maybe some food for thought.

[Sainters7]

Age plays a part, but I think it more depends on life situation. When I was 22 I graduated from MRC, moved out and was wearing dress clothes to my office job. Fast forward 2 years later and I was back in school, and its funny how quickly you click back into that "student" lifestyle. I felt much more grown up at 22 than I did at 25.

[V]

I think I starting feeling grown up when I was capable of having other people depend on me for their survival. So about 6 months after my first kid was born. I don't see it as the negative thing it's being depicted in this thread. I think it's pretty awesome.