Two years in prison - an insider's view

[ricosuave]

NSFW due to language...

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/view...opic_id=136858

[burn_this_city]

That was a good read.

[Buzzard]

So the first thing a prospective convict would hear on being greated to the dorm would be this ni$$#!, with this high pitched Canadian accent - like Steve Erkel - hollaring about how he'd seen you, and that you were a baby ####er."

Thanks for posting. A real interesting, if not sobering read. Some good humor too, although not intended.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

but blissfully, was raped only once - by a homiegot with the tiniest #### you've ever seen. I'm a fat ####, and I swear that thing barely reached my ####### through my enourmous ass cheeks. It was all I could do to not laugh.

At least he's still got a sense of humour about it...

[Travis Munroe]

the story about the stabbing was crazy. I couldnt imagine.
interesting read no doubt. Makes you realize how made up movie prisons are.

[Weiser Wonder]

Really great read. The stabbing story was terrifying. Made me appreciate what I have more.

[MacGruber]

On thelast page someone claims the guy is making this up and "seemingly" catches him in numerous lies. You be the judge I guess.

[puckluck]

From the last page....

No deaths in Michigan prisons in the last 4 years even though he claims 33 or something like that..

Still an awesome read fake or not.




Other Dead Giveaways:

The Aryan Brotherhood does not have a significant presence in Michigan. There may be a few members or wannabe's but that's it.

There were not even close to the number of murders he claims in Michigan prisons. I knew it didn't sound right - looked it up and confirmed it.

Nobody calls the guards "screws" (At least not here). Everybody calls them CO's (Corrections officers).

You can't do phone banking from inside because you have to submit a list of up to 20 numbers that you might want to call - and they have to be approved. All calls are monitored and they have software that prevents 3-way calling or other tricks.

Nobody pronounces "Level 5" as "Level V". Inmates are ######ed but everyone knows what a ####ing roman numeral V is, and they sure as hell know what level prison they are in.

Rape almost never happens.

Almost every prison has exercise equipment (bought by the prisoners fund which is collected as a tax on prisoners store bought goods). Anything can be used as a weapon, but the administrators know that men are less antsy and violent when they have something to use their energy on so they always make sure to have weights since it makes the prison easier to run.

Nobody calls it "solitary" in Michigan. The hole is the hole. And nobody is sent to the hole to open up bed space lol. Convicts are kept in overcrowded county jails until a bed opens up for them in prison.

His story visiting day is complete fabrication. You can deny a visit very easily and the CO's don't give a #### one way or the other.

You don't get an allowance to spend on food. If you have a prison job you earn the meager few dollars to spend in the store, if you don't have a job you get nothing.

Candy isn't used as currency, tobacco and soap is.

Parole is 2 years, not 1. That's not something you would forget.

There is no "DA" in Michigan, its a prosecutor.

His story about the CO's "redialing" the phone for you is ####ing funny. Not only does it go completely against the way the phone system works, but you have to pay for your phone calls so that story gets double lulz.

I could go on and on and on but I can't read any further. Cliff Notes version - you've been trolled.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by MacGruber

On thelast page someone claims the guy is making this up and "seemingly" catches him in numerous lies. You be the judge I guess.

Yeah when I got to the bottom and started reading the comments I was pretty disapointed to find out it might be fake.

beaten to it by puckluck.

And the "pages" are just the comments at the bottom of the original link.

This has to be fake, all prison records are public information and the state of michigan has had no murders in any of its prisons for the past 4 years

[Hack&Lube]

Originally Posted by Buzzard

Thanks for posting. A real interesting, if not sobering read. Some good humor too, although not intended.

Remember that "Canadian" means "Black" in this case as is the case in American slang.

[Hack&Lube]

This thread is obviously originally from some 4chan board. It'd be interesting to find the source of the original discussion but going there might blind and scar me for life.