I'm attending an energy conference as a guest of one of the organizers tomorrow, and will be sitting at a table for dinner with a bunch of people I've never met. I'm not particularly knowledgeable about the oil & gas industry, and I'm not really one for small talk. Any tips for handling situations like this, I don't really want to be that boring guy once everyone inevitably starts talking about work. Not really a fan of talking about myself either, as I don't find myself all that interesting.
The advice could apply to any situation in which you're expected to make small talk with strangers (weddings, etc.,), doesn't have to be specific to my situation.
Last edited by malcolmk14; 03-25-2011 at 01:19 AM.
I wear a "Hi, my name is ___" name tag everywhere I go. It's great for meeting people. I just walk down the street or go to a cafe and people are all saying 'Hi' to me by name. You should give it a try.
Edit: For your case I would recommend having the name on your tag be something really awesome and adventurous, like "Zoro" or "Indiana" or "Top Gun" and accompany the name with a suitable persona. You wouldn't have to end up listening to them talk about their boring lives and jobs, but you wouldn't really be talking about yourself either.
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The advice could apply to any situation in which you're expected to make small talk with strangers (weddings, etc.,), doesn't have to be specific to my situation.
Active listening.
When someone is talking and emphasizes or omits parts of the story - ask him about it. Better yet, tell him why you want to know more about it (in a one-or-two sentence question).
If his eyes bulge as he talks about some dude being late in his story then cut in (if you think it's sufficiently polite to do so) or wait for a lull in the conversation while on the same topic;
"Why were you so mad about him being late? Was he habitually late?"
It's a softball question on a topic that he brought up with an open ended answer. The key is that he bulged his eyes and clenched his fist when he said "late" in the story, so you know it's something he is ready to expand upon - no way that's a one-word answer.
Generally, ask men for facts and women for emotions.
"Was he habitually late" vs "Did he do that to you often?"
It's pretty easy to make small talk if you listen to people - people will tell you where they're from, or what they did when they were younger, or what school they went to, or sports they played, etc. All you have to do is feign interest in that. People usually like to talk about where they're from, especially if it's somewhere interesting.
Even if they're boring, keep it up.
I learned small talk and BSing from my dad - he's the true king of it. He talks to everyone and really seems to be interested in what people have to say. I think he learned it from being a police officer 35 years ago - things were "different" for them then.
Never use one word answers. If someone asks you what you do, explain to them a little bit about it and some things that are interesting about it that they can pick up on and ask you questions back about.
If you just answer that you're an accountant (or whatever you do), there's not really anywhere to go from that, especially if the other person doesn't really know anything about accounting.
Also, other people should be doing the same. Listen for little bits of info that they drop. If they are dropping info, they probably are willing to talk about it.
There is a good book called "How to talk to anyone", I know your conference is probably today (maybe tomorrow) but if you've got a chance, you could take a gander at this book.
I suggest pulling it out at the table. Seriously, everyone wants to compare.....cell phones.
Ask someone what kind of phone/pda they use.....it's a terrific ice breaker, is a totally harmless topic and may lead down a greater 'Technology' conversation.
And the tip about avoiding "One word answers" is absolute gold. A few extra words will really engage people, and then you're off to the races.
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Drink lots of liquor and you will become more talkative.
Maybe bring up subjects like polluted tailings ponds etc.
Odds are 3-1 that you get a big long explanation about the different types of oilsands production, and how the thermal methods like SAGD don't produce tailings.
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The key is to listen. Then you can ask questions or tell a story yourself that is related to the topic. Make sure to introduce yourself. If no converstion happens from the introductions, don't be scared to ask where the people are from or where they work. Someone will open up and you can let the conversation flow from there.
Gozer has it right on. Listen - people love to talk about themselves, and love people who listen to them talk about themselves. This advice applies equally to dates - just listen and before you know it...
Gozer has it right on. Listen - people love to talk about themselves, and love people who listen to them talk about themselves. This advice applies equally to dates - just listen and before you know it...
Also, play with your hair, and touch the speaker on the arm whenever he makes a good point.
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Small talk/"Networking" tips?
