Question Re: Changing Jobs

[FlamesAddiction]

I know we have some business savvy people here, so I have a question about etiquette when looking to change jobs.

My situation is like this...

I have been in my current employment for about 2 years now. All in all, it has gone very well. I have had a lot of positive feedback and my responsibilities have increased a lot. I do get the sense that I am in the company's long term plans and have been fast tracked. It is a professional field where competition creates a decent amount of turnover (people switch company's often for financial incentives).

Even though I generally like my job, my partner is not happy in the town we live in. Neither of us have family close by, and we really don't know a lot of people. The travel demands of my job are starting to affect our happiness. To make the situation more urgent, we both are getting older and want to start a family, but she is adament about not buying a home where we are and she doesn't want to have children unless she is close to her family roots.

A decent opportunity has come up in Ottawa (where she is from) and I want to throw my hat in for it. The problem is that I don't want them to contact my current employer as I think it could create some hard feelings and could affect my advancement if I do end up staying there longer. If you were hiring someone, would it lbe detrimental if they asked that you didn't contact their current employer? I know our company has poached people from other companies, but at the same time, I think if I was an employer, I would want to talk to the current employer of anyone I was potentially hiring.

I realize it sounds like I am being selfish, and I do feel guilty about it. The company I work for has invested in me and the people are nice, but on the flip side, I have heard stories about people working for the same company for 20 years and then getting let go with little or no warning. If business is business for large corporations, then shouldn't it be for me? The company I work for is the 5th largest engineering company in the world and I doubt that my feelings would be considered too heavily if it conflicted with their bottom line. So would it be ethically OK to keep my intentions from my current employer? If I don't get the other position, I might stay at my current company for several more years so I don't want to blow it.

Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated.

[Ford Prefect]

I have never been involved with a large corporation so my opinions may not be relevant. However, I think you have to do what's best for you and I don't think you should feel guilty about covering all your options in whatever way is in your best interests. Large corporations such as the one it sounds like you work for are out for their best interests and as you've said they wouldn't think twice about screwing you if it's ever in their best interests to do so. If you worked for a smaller ma and pop type firm it might be different, but when you're working for a large multi-national it's every man for himself IMO. You're not doing anything fraudulent or illegal, so don't lose any sleep over it.

[BlackArcher101]

Nothing selfish about it. You look out for yourself #1 before the company you work for (unless you're an owner).

Unfortunately, the way to go about it is to not use any references from your current company. And no, it's not detrimental to request they don't contact your current employer. They get it all the time.

[arsenal]

Seriously?
Don't say a word to your current employer.
What you want to do with your life is up to you. From what you have said, yes it sounds like they have invested in you. Which is fine. It is your employers best interest to invest in you as you are an asset. It is also up to your employer to keep their assets as long as possible.

That being said, your family situation has obviously changed in the last few months. This is something that your employer has absolutely no control over.

Contact the company in Ottawa, and see where it goes. Keep things quiet with your current employer though. They do not need to know anything. If nothing comes of it, then no harm done. Stay where you are until you find something else to apply for.

If it works out, and you get the opportunity in Ottawa, then give your notice, and explain to them that it is a personal family situation that they had no control over, and at this point in time, you need to be closer to family roots.

But do not let the prospective employer contact your current employer. Give them previous references, or if you can absolutely trust 100% a person you are working with, let the prospective employer talk to them.

Just my thoughts.
I have actually stopped talking to prospective employers because they have asked for references from people I am currently working with. That I am not comfortable with. I would rather keep my personal dealings away from my current employer.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Any company who would hold it against you for looking to improve your situation isn't worth working for one day longer.

[ken0042]

One thing you could look at is providing a professional reference within your current company who is not nessesarily your boss but is in a position of authourity. I work with other departments at my company, and have used one of the other supervisors as a professional reference.

Obviously you need to be sure that said party is capable of being descrete, and that it would not create any sort of conflict for them. But its a way of providing a reference from your current company for the new potential company.

[jolinar of malkshor]

In my books my priorities are #1 my family, #2 myself, #3 my work. Your family and your happiness are the most important thing. Without that stability and happiness your professional life will suffer.

[Bend it like Bourgeois]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Any company who would hold it against you for looking to improve your situation isn't worth working for one day longer.

Practically though how can they not to some degree?

If you know someone is looking to leave, it would be foolish to make them a key cog in a project, or offer a promotion, or anything like that.

[Flames in 07]

Don't have too much to add to the previous feedback except to emphasise that the vast majority of prospective companies would understand if you did not want them to contact the current employer. If they didn't understand then I think you have learned what you need to about that company.

I would keep the whole job search confidential from the current employer, you just never know how people will react, and to me that is understandable, some companies value loyalty and long term employment and frown on job searching. Weather anyone thinks that is right or worng probably is not relevant ... just keep that stuff away from your current employer and you won't have to worry about it.

[FlamesAddiction]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I feel better now. I was expecting a little more flack about not being loyal or repectful to my employers.

I'm also glad to hear that prospective employers shouldn't be too put off if I ask them not to call my current employer for a reference. That was my biggest worry.