Should the principal have cancelled the prom?

[Cowperson]

A principal of a Long Island school cancels the school prom . . . . do you agree with his reasons in this story?

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/10/16/...ain947963.shtml

Cowperson

[transplant99]

whoops

[transplant99]

Cancelling the thing because "some" take it too far? I dunno about that.

Its their money, and clearly they have a ton of it, so i guess nothing really changes the fact the kids are still going to engage in some all out debauchery.

I guess he needed to distance the school from the actions, but what will it really accomplish?

Besides, Laine noted, the senior class still has a four-day trip to Disney World scheduled for April.

"We go to all the parks with our friends," he said just before hopping into his jet-black Infiniti and driving off to meet friends for an after-school snack. "We fly down together and stay in the same hotel and so it's not like we're totally losing everything."

So instead of tearing up the Hamptons, they will tear it up in Orlando.

[Cheese]

"It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is rather the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake — in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the "bacchanalian aspects."

"Each year it gets worse — becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he added. "We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. (Kellenberg) is willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy."

The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers.

Hmmmm...somethings amiss in the land and educational paradise known as Roman Catholic schools...dont ya think?
I wonder if that has anything to do with their parents upbringing?

Further to the cancellation...ho hum...It is getting out of hand, not only in hobnob hills of Uniondale, but in middle class areas in North America. There is now prom's for Kindergarten, Grade 6, Grade 8 or 9 (dependant on location) and Grade 12.....then theres University. Me doth think it has gotten wayyyyyyy out of hand and completely away from what the original intention was.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

if the principal cancelled my prom I wouldn't have HURT MY LEG!!! - long story

you know what, it's their choice to "go all out" or to keep it simple. Actually what we did is have a "Safegrad" which apparently is becoming more and more common across the country.

Sure you can't drink, however you spend the entire night together with your classmates, some you'll never see again, others not for years, others once in a blue moon. If you want to do the parties, hotels afterwards go ahead. That's how we marketed it (unofficially) drink the night before, the night after, but let's have this one last night of EVERYONE together.

There's better options to curb spending like a Safegrad IMO.

[Cheese]

Originally posted by Maritime Q-Scout@Oct 17 2005, 12:25 PM
if the principal cancelled my prom I wouldn't have HURT MY LEG!!! - long story

you know what, it's their choice to "go all out" or to keep it simple. Actually what we did is have a "Safegrad" which apparently is becoming more and more common across the country.

Sure you can't drink, however you spend the entire night together with your classmates, some you'll never see again, others not for years, others once in a blue moon. If you want to do the parties, hotels afterwards go ahead. That's how we marketed it (unofficially) drink the night before, the night after, but let's have this one last night of EVERYONE together.

There's better options to curb spending like a Safegrad IMO.

well Id like to agree with you MQS...however, there is a huge amount of pressure put on students to attend the afterparty that might not attend otherwise. There have been a huge number of documented cases where rape or death have occured at these "events". Or what do you say to a daughter who is 17 and graduates and wants to go to the bar with all her 18 year old friends? As a parent where do you draw the line?
In Calgary it used to be the choice for hundreds to go out to Twin Bridges...or Ghost Damn...Binge drinking and much else happened at these locations.
Where is the line between having a nice party with people you may never see again and an all out Frat party?

[habernac]

we had a parent patrolled safegrad too, but with the booze. They don't do that anymore? I thought it was a great setup. Why not have the kids go to a supervised function? Better than them going god knows where.....

[ken0042]

Our Safegrad had booze as well. It was up to the grade 11 students to put it on for us, and then the next year the following grade 11's did it for the next group, and so on.

I suppose part of the problem is the drinking age. Manitoba, Alberta, and Quebec are the only provinces where 1/2 the kids graduating high school will be over the drinking age.

[Eastern Girl]

My high school cancelled the prom the year that I graduated as well, but the graduating class just put together a group of students to organize something outside of the school. It was a great time. No parents or chaperones. There was alcohol but you had to be of age. There were a few that got pretty crazy drunk and out of control but the vast majority of students were fine. It is quite irritating that school officials have the impression that every single kid is either an alcoholic or a drug addict.

I will agree that it has gotten out of hand in terms of what people are spending. I had to spend quite a bit on my dress and everything else, but like someone mentioned above, it's probably one of the last big parties you will have with people from high school so why shouldn't you go all out! ...although 10,000 dollars on an afterparty seems a bit unnecessary but these are the rich kids we are talking about...

[Tron_fdc]

Wow. My aftergrad involved a cheese wagon ride to a big fire near Millarville, and my bed was the back of a jeep. The orgy was narrowly avoided however, as condom dispensers are a little hard to come by in your average farmers field.

ahhhh memories

[Cheese]

Originally posted by Eastern Girl@Oct 17 2005, 02:10 PM
My high school cancelled the prom the year that I graduated as well, but the graduating class just put together a group of students to organize something outside of the school. It was a great time. No parents or chaperones. There was alcohol but you had to be of age. There were a few that got pretty crazy drunk and out of control but the vast majority of students were fine. It is quite irritating that school officials have the impression that every single kid is either an alcoholic or a drug addict.

I will agree that it has gotten out of hand in terms of what people are spending. I had to spend quite a bit on my dress and everything else, but like someone mentioned above, it's probably one of the last big parties you will have with people from high school so why shouldn't you go all out! ...although 10,000 dollars on an afterparty seems a bit unnecessary but these are the rich kids we are talking about...

the impression of a few sometimes has a bigger bearing on the majority than we want!
Look at Politics....same there...and quite frankly IF cancelling these to save the lives of a few is necessary go for it.
The "idea" that its the last hurrah for you to spend with ALL of your graduating class is also bunk...you dont associate with the majority anyways.
Im no priss, as a matter of fact you could probably lump me in with some of the...ahem...hardier partiers...when I was younger. The Party's today outdo the heaviest party we had by quite some stretch....where is the line in the sand?

Proms at every level of the school system have become a joke. My daughter now in Grade 6 has already been approached by others in her grade to put pressure on parents regarding clothing...AND LIMOUSINE! This is Grade 6 for christ sakes! We will say an emphatic NO...but there will be cost to us.

[Maritime Q-Scout]

oh right I forgot the legal drinking age in Alberta is 18 isn't it?

In Nova Scotia it's 19, so you can't legally go to the bar afterwards.

How it works in Sydney:

you either go to the Canadian Coast Gaurd College, Cape Breton University, or Delta Sydney and have access to the facilities. We went to the Coast Gaurd College.

You have access to unlimited food in their cafitera (which is unreal believe it or not) as well as unlimited gym access (the size of three gymnamsiums), unlimited pool access (olympic sized), as well as the weight room, sauna, there are rooms set up for watching movies, karaoke, or a section for just hanging around outside.

Everything is supervised by teacher volunteers, and other volunteers, not to mention the commissionares on staff.

Rape? Drinking? Can't say in the years they've been doing it, that I've ever heard of one instance of this happening.

The pressure to go was high, atleast in my grad year, but like we said amungst us students, if you want an "un-safegrad" you can go the day before, the day after, and the rest of the summer... what's one night?

For the goodie goodie students like myself, it was also fun to see your teachers sitting back relaxing, and goofing off.

With a legal drinking age of 18 it'd be different, unless you went alcohol-free from the get go.

I really enjoyed my Safegrad, I had a blast. If not safegrad, oh wow, I get to go to yet another house party (which was done anyway) woo-de-doo!

[Eastern Girl]

Originally posted by Cheese@Oct 17 2005, 11:23 AM
the impression of a few sometimes has a bigger bearing on the majority than we want!
Look at Politics....same there...and quite frankly IF cancelling these to save the lives of a few is necessary go for it.
The "idea" that its the last hurrah for you to spend with ALL of your graduating class is also bunk...you dont associate with the majority anyways.
Im no priss, as a matter of fact you could probably lump me in with some of the...ahem...hardier partiers...when I was younger. The Party's today outdo the heaviest party we had by quite some stretch....where is the line in the sand?

Proms at every level of the school system have become a joke. My daughter now in Grade 6 has already been approached by others in her grade to put pressure on parents regarding clothing...AND LIMOUSINE! This is Grade 6 for christ sakes! We will say an emphatic NO...but there will be cost to us.

I never said that it was a chance to party with ALL the people in your class. I didn't hang out with every single person that graduated. In general, you probably had a small circle of friends that you hung out with, but there were probably people that you were friends with that weren't necessarily part of "your circle." This would be a last chance for you to see those people.

I think people dying as a result of Prom is a rarity. It has happened in the past but it is rare. It's just that when it does happen, the media takes it and runs with it and makes it seem like it happens all the time. It doesn't. I just don't understand the attitude of punishing the majority for the actions of the minority in this case.

As for the limo and such for your daughters grade 6 grad, i agreed that spending was too much nowadays. A limo and everything for a grade 6 grad seems to be over the top. BUT in the end, if people want to spend that much, it's their choice.

[Displaced Flames fan]

I've been thinking about this for a day or so (not constantly of course!)...and while I understand his motive for cancelling the prom...and the disgust of the school he runs being associated with the kind of elitist bullshinguard that accompanies it, I think he did the wrong thing for two reasons.

1. It punishes normal prom goers. For some, not having a prom is something that will bother them for their entire lives. It's a special event for high schoolers.

2. It won't change what goes on anyway.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally posted by Displaced Flames fan@Oct 17 2005, 06:31 PM
and the disgust of the school he runs being associated with the kind of elitist bullshinguard that accompanies it,

With all that I don't see that the guy really had a choice. If it was plain old public school then whatever, but it sounds like a pretty serious religious school with nuns and priests running the show. They can't be associated at all with this kind of decadence, sex, booze et cetera. I'm no christian, but I'm pretty sure this kind of extravagance is the opposite of what it's supposed to be about.

Apparently the lesson wasn't learned though, by the students or their parents. Why bother with a christian school if you encourage your kids to act like, umm, the rest of us heretics? What's the point?

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally posted by RougeUnderoos@Oct 18 2005, 12:47 AM
With all that I don't see that the guy really had a choice. If it was plain old public school then whatever, but it sounds like a pretty serious religious school with nuns and priests running the show. They can't be associated at all with this kind of decadence, sex, booze et cetera. I'm no christian, but I'm pretty sure this kind of extravagance is the opposite of what it's supposed to be about.

Apparently the lesson wasn't learned though, by the students or their parents. Why bother with a christian school if you encourage your kids to act like, umm, the rest of us heretics? What's the point?

Well, the point for them is it probably looks 400X better on their Ivy League admissions applications then graduating from a public school would.

I guess where I differ from you is that I don't necessarily see the school as being associated with this stuff. The only association there is is that it is after their prom....but so is EVERYTHING any student at the school chooses to do that night. Can they be associated with masturbation? I guess that's not public, or at least I hope not. But still...I just don't necessarily make the correlation between the two.

But, what kind of parents do stuff like this? It's disgusting really.