Some great lines from Major League 1 and 2
[
the Indians General Manager calls minor league coach Lou Brown at Tire World to offer him a position with the Indians]
Charlie Donovan: How would you like to manage the Indians this year?
Lou Brown: Gee, I don't know...
Charlie Donovan: What do you mean, you don't know? This is your chance to manage in the big leagues.
Lou Brown: Let me get back to you, will ya, Charlie? I got a guy on the other line asking about some white walls.
[
Willie Mays Hayes has just made a 'basket catch' to end the inning]
Lou Brown: Nice catch, Hayes. Don't ever f##kin' do it again.
Lou Brown: You may run like Hayes. but you hit like s#it.
Pepper Leach: [
Vaughn has just given up a grand slam after walking three straight batters] You want me to go get him?
Lou Brown: No, keep him in. Let's see how he reacts.
Lou Brown: [
Vaughn hits the next batter] Interesting.
Roger Dorn: Lou! Can I have a word with you, here?
Lou Brown: Sure.
Roger Dorn: See, I've got it right here in my contract. It says, "I don't have to do any calisthenics that I don't feel are necessary." So what do you think about that?
Lou Brown: [
drops the contract on the ground and urinates on it, then walks off]
Lou Brown: Come on, you're not going to let her get you down, are you? You guys won last year just to spite her. Maybe, she's what we need.
Jake Taylor: Oh, Skip, they were a different team last year.
Lou Brown: Taylor, it's not your job to make excuses. That's all you guys do good! It's either a *leg* thing or a *spiritual* thing, or a *psychological* thing, or a *heart attack*!
Jake Taylor: Who used heart attack?
Lou Brown: Me.
[
collapses from a heart attack]