Animal carcass removal

[_Q_]

So I woke up this morning and found a dead magpie close to my front door. What do I do with it? I am a bit squeemish when it comes to these things. Is there a service that picks these things up and disposes of them? Do I have to suck it up and dispose of it myself?

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Pick it up with a garbage bag, and throw it in the garbage.

It's just a magpie dude, it's not like there's a dead bear on your lawn.

[Drury18]

You can try to call 3-1-1 and see if the City will come pick it up, but I don't think a dead bird is something they normally do. They usually deal in cat or larger.

Otherwise, just get a garbage bag and your snow shovel and clean it up. It's not that bad.

[Regulator75]

Yup call 311. I've done this a few times.

Once when I was driving in the early morning hours and spotted a massive goose flattened on the road.

One winter I found 2 baby bunnies frozen to death beside my house, I put them in a bag and left it on my curb. 311 sent someone to collect the remains.

[red sky]

Originally Posted by Regulator75

Yup call 311. I've done this a few times.

Once when I was driving in the early morning hours and spotted a massive goose flattened on the road.

One winter I found 2 baby bunnies frozen to death beside my house, I put them in a bag and left it on my curb. 311 sent someone to collect the remains.

[Kybosh]

Originally Posted by red sky

I agree, those bunnies may have been salvageable as a stew.

[REDVAN]

Call 311, they'll get it taken care of by the proper authorities... although for a bird, just get a shovel and toss 'er in a black bag. Or just leave it, and a neighborhood cat will have a feast.

As for calling 311- my parents live beside a walkway/pathway kinda thing, and people don't clean up after their dogs in there, so sometimes in spring it doesn't look or smell good.

My dad calls 311 and they eventually come out and spray the shat away, literally.

Calling 311 is the best thing ever.

[burn_this_city]

Use a shovel as a catapult and fling it into your neighbours yard.

[Shazam]

Hello 311? Can you make the Flames better? Thanks.

[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by _Q_

So I woke up this morning and found a dead magpie close to my front door. What do I do with it? I am a bit squeemish when it comes to these things. Is there a service that picks these things up and disposes of them? Do I have to suck it up and dispose of it myself?

Fry him up.

To bad you don't live in the country like I do because it's the shovel and heave ho over the fence for the rodents slaughtered by the dogs.

Cowperson

[Pinner]

Just toss it on the street, it should be a grease spot with a few feathers buy the time you get home.

[Regulator75]

Originally Posted by Pinner

Just toss it on the street, it should be a grease spot with a few feathers buy the time you get home.

Maybe in Edmonton this is acceptable.

[ricoFlame]

magpie is good eatin.

[Suzles]

I'd pick the maggie up and throw it somewhere where other animals could benefit from its demise.

[Clarkey]

Don't waste city money, just chuck it out with a bag by yourself.

[Delthefunky]

Sorry, my tax dollars are spent picking up dead magpies off peoples lawns?

[Kybosh]

Magpies can be composted.

[CaptainCrunch]

steps

1) Take magpie corpse and clean it in a solution of 1/5th soap 1/5 bleach and the rest water
2) gently towel off
3) Select sharp knife, cut feet off put in bag to sell to budget chinese food restaurant for profit
4) Insert knife in rear belly of bird near the rectum, while laughing like a mad man savagely gut fish by pulling in a left to right direction,
5) Reach into carcus and grab entrails pull them out straight towards you, then take entrails and toss them into the pit that you've dug in your basement that contains the missing 20 year old prostitute named Chloe, yell down "There's your dinner you dirty sinner, god wants you to eat it)
6) Return to bird and admire your handiwork.
7) Grab both sides of the incision and pull the incision wider.
8) Place on your head as a hat, re-enforce corpses head with a discarded clothes hanger, optional enforcement of wings is up to fashion sense.
9) Stalk around your house while talking to whatever diety good or evil that you curently worship.
10) return to hooker hole and show girl what you managed to accomplish with a simple knife and some clothes hanger. Comment on the fact that she hasn't eaten her dinner.

[Puppet Guy]

Originally Posted by Regulator75

Maybe in Edmonton this is acceptable.

in Edmonton it would be on a menu somewhere.

I don't think the city will pick up small dead animals on private property.

Throw it in the street then call them