Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Go Back   Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community > Main Forums > The Off Topic Forum
Register Forum Rules FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 01-22-2010, 06:20 AM   #1
Regulator75
Franchise Player
 
Regulator75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Behind Nikkor Glass
Exp:
Default Mormons explain where dark skinned humans come from.

I was going to post this in the funny video and pic thread, I guess it's more sad than funny...

Mormons explain where black people come from, not too mention a few other odd ideologies.

__________________

More photos on Flickr
Regulator75 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Regulator75 For This Useful Post:
Old 01-22-2010, 06:41 AM   #2
Rathji
Franchise Player
 
Rathji's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Supporting Urban Sprawl
Exp:
Default

Just to clarify, that video was not produced by the LDS Church and contains a huge number of inaccuracies. I won't get into it, because historically those types of threads turn into a giant mess. A quick search of these boards would provide many good examples.

I did think the part about God coming down to impregnant Mary was a pretty comical theatrical invention though. Like it was "Knock, Knock, Yo Mary, I am here for that booty call!"

Reminded me of this:

__________________
"Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job is when we're working by the hour."

Last edited by Rathji; 01-22-2010 at 06:47 AM.
Rathji is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 07:19 AM   #3
Hevishot
Scoring Winger
 
Hevishot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Calgary
Exp:
Default

Interesting..... Cant wait to see how this one turns out.
__________________
Westerner by birth, Canadian by law, Albertan by the grace of God
Hevishot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 07:24 AM   #4
photon
The new goggles also do nothing.
 
photon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Calgary
Exp:
Default

Yeah I remember being shown that movie in a Christian youth group in a series about cults. The "Mormon cult" was REALLY dangerous they said because they tried to be closer to Christianity.
__________________
Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position.
But certainty is an absurd one.
photon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 08:59 AM   #5
eddly
Powerplay Quarterback
 
eddly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Calgary
Exp:
Default

This video was not created by the Mormon church. It was created to make the Mormon church look bad. Parts of it present some truth, but they are not presented in the most flattering manner. Essentially this video is like a pile of poop.
eddly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 09:24 AM   #6
Poison
First Line Centre
 
Poison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: On Jessica Albas chest
Exp:
Default

Um.........Wow.......
That is all.
Poison is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 10:28 AM   #7
Cheese
Franchise Player
 
Cheese's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by eddly View Post
This video was not created by the Mormon church. It was created to make the Mormon church look bad. Parts of it present some truth, but they are not presented in the most flattering manner. Essentially this video is like a pile of poop.

Which parts are fact and how would you present them in a flattering manner?
Cheese is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 10:52 AM   #8
Poison
First Line Centre
 
Poison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: On Jessica Albas chest
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese View Post
Which parts are fact and how would you present them in a flattering manner?
Probably the flying between planets, i could see alot of truth in that.
Poison is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 11:13 AM   #9
Sample00
Sleazy Banker
 
Sample00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Cold Lake Alberta Canada
Exp:
Default

well, alrighty then. I think it all makes perfect sense now...
Sample00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 11:14 AM   #10
Yeah_Baby
Franchise Player
 
Yeah_Baby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: still in edmonton
Exp:
Default

I didn't see Bill Hendrickson in that video....
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke View Post
Thats why Flames fans make ideal Star Trek fans. We've really been taught to embrace the self-loathing and extreme criticism.
Check out The Pod-Wraiths: A Star Trek Deep Space Nine Podcast
Yeah_Baby is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Yeah_Baby For This Useful Post:
Old 01-22-2010, 11:37 AM   #11
Cheese
Franchise Player
 
Cheese's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Exp:
Default

Mormonism includes many other unusual teachings which you will probably not be told about until you have been in the church for a long time. These teachings are not revealed to investigators or new converts because those people are not yet considered ready to have more than "milk" as doctrine. The Mormons also probably realize that if investigators knew of these unusual teachings they would not join the church. In addition to those mentioned elsewhere in this article, the following are noteworthy:

  • God was once a man like us.
  • God has a tangible body of flesh and bone.
  • God lives on a planet near the star Kolob.
  • God ("Heavenly Father") has at least one wife, our "Mother in Heaven," but she is so holy that we are not to discuss her nor pray to her.
  • Jesus was married.
  • We can become like God and rule over our own universe.
  • There are many gods, ruling over their own worlds.
  • Jesus and Satan ("Lucifer") are brothers, and they are our brothers - we are all spirit children of Heavenly Father
  • Jesus Christ was conceived by God the Father by having sex with Mary, who was temporarily his wife.
  • We should not pray to Jesus, nor try to feel a personal relationship with him.
  • The "Lord" ("Jehovah") in the Old Testament is the being named Jesus in the New Testament, but different from "God the Father" ("Elohim").
  • In the highest degree of the celestial kingdom some men will have more than one wife.
  • Before coming to this earth we lived as spirits in a "pre-existence", during which we were tested; our position in this life (whether born to Mormons or savages, or in America or Africa) is our reward or punishment for our obedience in that life.
  • Dark skin is a curse from God, the result of our sin, or the sin of our ancestors. If sufficiently righteous, a dark-skinned person will become light-skinned.(I sssume this is an explanation for MJ?)
  • The Garden of Eden was in Missouri. All humanity before the Great Flood lived in the western hemisphere. The Ark transported Noah and the other survivors to the eastern hemisphere.
  • Not only will human beings be resurrected to eternal life, but also all animals - everything that has ever lived on earth - will be resurrected and dwell in heaven.
  • Christ will not return to earth in any year that has seen a rainbow.
  • Mormons should avoid traveling on water, since Satan rules the waters.
  • The sun receives its light from the star Kolob.
  • If a Gentile becomes Mormon, the Holy Ghost actually purges his Gentile blood and replaces it with Israelite blood.
  • A righteous Mormon will actually see the face of God in the Mormon temple.
  • You can identify a false angel by the color of his hair, or by offering to shake his hand.
ex-Mormons

Last edited by Cheese; 01-22-2010 at 11:41 AM.
Cheese is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 11:40 AM   #12
BlackAce
Lifetime Suspension
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: AceTown, AB
Exp:
Default

BlackAce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 11:51 AM   #13
FlamesAddiction
Franchise Player
 
FlamesAddiction's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Vancouver
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison View Post
Probably the flying between planets, i could see alot of truth in that.
The fakiest part was the part when that guy was knocking on the door. Like, who knocks like that?
__________________
"A pessimist thinks things can't get any worse. An optimist knows they can."
FlamesAddiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 11:52 AM   #14
Yeah_Baby
Franchise Player
 
Yeah_Baby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: still in edmonton
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction View Post
The fakiest part was the part when that guy was knocking on the door. Like, who knocks like that?
God obviously.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke View Post
Thats why Flames fans make ideal Star Trek fans. We've really been taught to embrace the self-loathing and extreme criticism.
Check out The Pod-Wraiths: A Star Trek Deep Space Nine Podcast
Yeah_Baby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 11:54 AM   #15
Shazam
Franchise Player
 
Shazam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Memento Mori
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheese View Post
Mormonism includes many other unusual teachings which you will probably not be told about until you have been in the church for a long time. These teachings are not revealed to investigators or new converts because those people are not yet considered ready to have more than "milk" as doctrine. The Mormons also probably realize that if investigators knew of these unusual teachings they would not join the church. In addition to those mentioned elsewhere in this article, the following are noteworthy:

  • God was once a man like us.
  • God has a tangible body of flesh and bone.
  • God lives on a planet near the star Kolob.
  • God ("Heavenly Father") has at least one wife, our "Mother in Heaven," but she is so holy that we are not to discuss her nor pray to her.
  • Jesus was married.
  • We can become like God and rule over our own universe.
  • There are many gods, ruling over their own worlds.
  • Jesus and Satan ("Lucifer") are brothers, and they are our brothers - we are all spirit children of Heavenly Father
  • Jesus Christ was conceived by God the Father by having sex with Mary, who was temporarily his wife.
  • We should not pray to Jesus, nor try to feel a personal relationship with him.
  • The "Lord" ("Jehovah") in the Old Testament is the being named Jesus in the New Testament, but different from "God the Father" ("Elohim").
  • In the highest degree of the celestial kingdom some men will have more than one wife.
  • Before coming to this earth we lived as spirits in a "pre-existence", during which we were tested; our position in this life (whether born to Mormons or savages, or in America or Africa) is our reward or punishment for our obedience in that life.
  • Dark skin is a curse from God, the result of our sin, or the sin of our ancestors. If sufficiently righteous, a dark-skinned person will become light-skinned.(I sssume this is an explanation for MJ?)
  • The Garden of Eden was in Missouri. All humanity before the Great Flood lived in the western hemisphere. The Ark transported Noah and the other survivors to the eastern hemisphere.
  • Not only will human beings be resurrected to eternal life, but also all animals - everything that has ever lived on earth - will be resurrected and dwell in heaven.
  • Christ will not return to earth in any year that has seen a rainbow.
  • Mormons should avoid traveling on water, since Satan rules the waters.
  • The sun receives its light from the star Kolob.
  • If a Gentile becomes Mormon, the Holy Ghost actually purges his Gentile blood and replaces it with Israelite blood.
  • A righteous Mormon will actually see the face of God in the Mormon temple.
  • You can identify a false angel by the color of his hair, or by offering to shake his hand.
ex-Mormons
Meh, it's no different than a Costco membership.
__________________
If you don't pass this sig to ten of your friends, you will become an Oilers fan.
Shazam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 12:07 PM   #16
J pold
Franchise Player
 
Join Date: May 2004
Exp:
Default

I'm a Jack-Mormon myself, and was taught about 60% of Cheese's list before the time I left (9 years old).
J pold is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 12:16 PM   #17
pylon
Lifetime Suspension
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Exp:
Default

Frikkin sweet... Intergalactic travel, celetial super-orgies.... I want to be a mormom!
pylon is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to pylon For This Useful Post:
Old 01-22-2010, 12:25 PM   #18
Sample00
Sleazy Banker
 
Sample00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Cold Lake Alberta Canada
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pylon View Post
Frikkin sweet... Intergalactic travel, celetial super-orgies.... I want to be a mormom!
Sample00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 12:27 PM   #19
Yeah_Baby
Franchise Player
 
Yeah_Baby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: still in edmonton
Exp:
Default

Actually a TOS BSG reference makes more sense than Star Trek TOS
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke View Post
Thats why Flames fans make ideal Star Trek fans. We've really been taught to embrace the self-loathing and extreme criticism.
Check out The Pod-Wraiths: A Star Trek Deep Space Nine Podcast
Yeah_Baby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2010, 12:29 PM   #20
Sample00
Sleazy Banker
 
Sample00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Cold Lake Alberta Canada
Exp:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah_Baby View Post
Actually a TOS BSG reference makes more sense than Star Trek TOS
well you'll have to forgive me there, young feller. I didnt watch BSG that much. and whats a TOS?
Sample00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:03 PM.

Calgary Flames
2024-25




Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright Calgarypuck 2021 | See Our Privacy Policy