08-30-2009, 12:12 PM
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#1
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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Dwarf rushed to hospital after gluing his penis to a hoover
Quote:
A dwarf performing at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival was rushed to hospital after he glued his penis to a vacuum cleaner.
Daniel Blackner - who performs in the Circus of Horrors as Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf - said the incident happened as he prepared for a show.
As part of the spectacle, the dwarf pulls a Henry vacuum cleaner across the show attached to his penis.
But a special attachment connecting the 42-year-old to the appliance came loose.
He decided to fix the broken apparatus with extra strong glue, but he left it to dry for only 20 seconds, instead of 20 minutes.
This meant when he connected himself to the vacuum cleaner, the glue was not yet dry, and his penis was immediately stuck fast.
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...is-hoover.html
__________________
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08-30-2009, 12:13 PM
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#2
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Vancouver
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This sort of thing happens all the time.
__________________
"A pessimist thinks things can't get any worse. An optimist knows they can."
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The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to FlamesAddiction For This Useful Post:
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08-30-2009, 12:16 PM
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#3
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Franchise Player
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I like the picture in the article.
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08-30-2009, 12:19 PM
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#4
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CP's Fraser Crane
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Shouldnt he be wrestling?
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The Following User Says Thank You to stang For This Useful Post:
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08-30-2009, 12:20 PM
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#5
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: CP House of Ill Repute
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That would definitely suck.
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The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to GreenTeaFrapp For This Useful Post:
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08-30-2009, 12:21 PM
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#6
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: CP House of Ill Repute
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stang
Shouldnt he be wrestling?
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Or getting tossed.
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08-30-2009, 12:34 PM
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#7
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Uncle Chester
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I've had it up to
-----------------------------here with midgets.
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The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to SportsJunky For This Useful Post:
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algernon,
anyonebutedmonton,
bluejays,
Bobblehead,
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Frequitude,
HotHotHeat,
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Komskies,
KPJ,
Resolute 14,
rockstar,
Slava,
Table 5,
valo403,
wittynickname,
Wood
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08-30-2009, 12:39 PM
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#8
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Southern California
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How is a dwarf dragging a shop vac around by his penis entertaining in the first place?
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ice For This Useful Post:
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08-30-2009, 12:44 PM
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#9
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Calgary, Alberta
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08-30-2009, 12:46 PM
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#10
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One of the Nine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatWhiteEbola
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Thanks for wasting 14 seconds of my life.
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08-30-2009, 01:18 PM
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#11
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Redundant Minister of Redundancy
Self-Banned
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So, if I read this right, a job has opened up?
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08-30-2009, 01:30 PM
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#12
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Calgary
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My favorite quote..
"I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived."
Yes because now the whole world knows what a dumbass you are... your picture is everywhere! That's better.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grimbl420
I can wash my penis without taking my pants off.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moneyhands23
If edmonton wins the cup in the next decade I will buy everyone on CP a bottle of vodka.
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08-30-2009, 01:58 PM
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#13
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Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: hammer of justice crushes you
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08-30-2009, 02:42 PM
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#14
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Uncle Chester
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
My favorite quote..
"I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived."
Yes because now the whole world knows what a dumbass you are... your picture is everywhere! That's better.
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You can't make this stuff up folks.
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08-30-2009, 04:24 PM
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#15
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Has lived the dream!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Where I lay my head is home...
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Hmmm, the Fringe festivals on the other side of the pond are a little bit more risque they they are here in Alberta...
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08-30-2009, 04:51 PM
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#16
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CP Pontiff
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: A pasture out by Millarville
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Dwarf rushed to hospital after gluing his penis to a hoover
The early favourite for best Calgarypuck post headline of 2009
Cowperson
__________________
Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. - Anonymous
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08-30-2009, 04:54 PM
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#17
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Basement Chicken Choker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a land without pants, or war, or want. But mostly we care about the pants.
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"But a special attachment connecting the 42-year-old to the appliance came loose."
Most of us just throw those extra attachments into a box and forget about them, but I guess he's one of those guys that actually reads the instructions when he buys something.
__________________
Better educated sadness than oblivious joy.
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08-30-2009, 05:07 PM
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#18
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CP's Fraser Crane
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Quote:
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It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me.
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Dude! You attach a vaccuum to your junk and pull it around a stage for a living!!!
Yet that was the most embarassing moment of your life?
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08-30-2009, 06:28 PM
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#19
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First Line Centre
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Dwarf is just a fancy word for Kickables.
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08-30-2009, 06:30 PM
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#20
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dion
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The saddest thing about this all is you could package it on a dvd, market it properly, and it'd sell like crazy. 
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