Anyone else have parents that are impossible to please? - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

awildermode · 07-30-2009, 09:47 PM

Started from a conversation the Random Thoughts thread by Machiavelli:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Machiavelli

Anyone else have parents that are impossible to please?

-Are you a child of disappointed parents?
-Are you a child of immigrant and/or Asian parents?
-Does your career path differ from what your parents had "planned"?

Do share.

Hey, it is the off season and Boyd just signed...what else is there to talk about?

CMPunk · 07-30-2009, 09:48 PM

No

Machiavelli · 07-30-2009, 09:50 PM

I don't think my parents are disappointed (and to be honest, there's nothing for them to be disappointed about), but rather they have trouble showing that they're happy with what I've done with my life.

This is particularly true for my father. I think it might be that he sees a lot of himself in me, and maybe he just has really high standards? Who knows...

My career path is likely what a lot of immigrant parents plan for their children and yet I still don't think anything is good enough for mine.

HOOT · 07-30-2009, 09:50 PM

Nope.

Both parents have always been there for me good, bad or stupid. They don't care what I do as long as I am happy.

GreenTeaFrapp · 07-30-2009, 09:51 PM

Maybe if you slackers didn't post so much on here, your parents wouldn't be so damn disappointed!

flip · 07-30-2009, 09:51 PM

My parents swing wildly both ways. If I get a B- or a C+ or something on a test and I'm super pissed they tend to be way more supportive than I usually expect. On the other hand they have this passive aggressive way of trying to get me to do what they want and it really pisses me off.

Dion · 07-30-2009, 09:52 PM

Stop trying to live up to your parents ideals and do what pleases you. Set your own standards of what you want out of life and live them. Parents can only control you if you let them.

Machiavelli · 07-30-2009, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dion

Stop trying to live up to your parents ideals and do what pleases you. Set your own standards of what you want out of life and live them. Parents can only control you if you let them.

Trust me, I'm not trying to please anyone but myself, but it still bothers me that they only focus on any little negative thing that I do.

Moving away from home has been the best decision of my life. Of course I still love my parents but for any extended stretch of time they drive me nuts.

STeeLy · 07-30-2009, 09:56 PM

My parents are Asian... impossible to please? Maybe not... Extremely difficult to please, Yeah

I really hate it when they compare me to someone else... and be all like, why can't you be more like [insert name here]. Then proceed to tell me why said person is so good and why you should be like him... of course I just listen. They always believe the kids who suck up to other parents and acts completely different around other people.

Then of course, I don't like it when other parents tell their kids to be more like me... I don't like that either.

flip · 07-30-2009, 09:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dion

Stop trying to live up to your parents ideals and do what pleases you. Set your own standards of what you want out of life and live them. Parents can only control you if you let them.

I respectfully disagree. The emotional and psychological ties makes it almost impossible for any child to ignore what their parents say and do. Hence why even in abusive households, children (of all ages) tend to stick around and keep coming back and helping out their parents.

Phanuthier · 07-30-2009, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dion

Stop trying to live up to your parents ideals and do what pleases you. Set your own standards of what you want out of life and live them. Parents can only control you if you let them.

I think we've talked about this, its a lot easier to say that than to do that.

Reply to the RTT, I think my dad wanted me to do medicine after engg because it was sort of his dream he never did (he wanted to do medicine and/or engg, so why not get his son to do both?). And thats not the worst part either, they want me to go to particular schools to, and the school part isn't just pressure from my parents, its like a hundred uncles, aunts and grandparents.

My sister was a little better than I was as far as choosing her own way (i.e. I do whatever the hell I wanna do) but for a guy, there might be more expectations on a son than a daughter for this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Machiavelli

Moving away from home has been the best decision of my life. Of course I still love my parents but for any extended stretch of time they drive me nuts.

Very true, I moved out when I was 18, and for me, I like my parents in limited quantities. When I'm home more than 3 weeks, I would go crazy. Also, its a lot easier for me to go home than for my parents to visit me. All the nitpicking, why can't you be more like so and so and all the negativity just makes you feel like crap.

Dion · 07-30-2009, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Machiavelli

Trust me, I'm not trying to please anyone but myself, but it still bothers me that they only focus on any little negative thing that I do.

My late father was never one to give out praise. Over time I learned to focus on his good attributes and realised that praise was never going to come from him. In some ways our parents are byproducts of thier parents. My late father never got praise from his father. Our parents are what they are and we have to accept them faults and all.

Azure · 07-30-2009, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flip

I respectfully disagree. The emotional and psychological ties makes it almost impossible for any child to ignore what their parents say and do. Hence why even in abusive households, children (of all ages) tend to stick around and keep coming back and helping out their parents.

Bingo.

Pretty tough to just simply ignore what the people who created you and looked after you for 18 years have to say.

Even if you DO go your own way its hard to just ignore it.

Dion · 07-30-2009, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phanuthier

I think we've talked about this, its a lot easier to say that than to do that.

Reply to the RTT, I think my dad wanted me to do medicine after engg because it was sort of his dream he never did (he wanted to do medicine and/or engg, so why not get his son to do both?). And thats not the worst part either, they want me to go to particular schools to, and the school part isn't just pressure from my parents, its like a hundred uncles, aunts and grandparents.

My sister was a little better than I was as far as choosing her own way (i.e. I do whatever the hell I wanna do) but for a guy, there might be more expectations on a son than a daughter for this.

Of course it's not easy. My late father was very controling and tried very hard to influence my life to the way he saw fit. When i moved away from home he lost all that control he had. Sometimes I would visit and a heated discussion would ensue about how I was living my life. I often got up and left and didn't visit for months on end. It wasn't that long after that that he realised if he wanted a relationship with his son he had to let me live my life as I saw fit.

J pold · 07-30-2009, 10:05 PM

I know that I live up to my Mom's expectations, she tells me everyday.

My Dad on the other hand doesn't give out praise very much, which in a way is good. The few times in my life he had told me he is proud of me have been genuine and heartfelt and I will never forget them. I know he is proud of me and I know he respects me and the choices that I make.

Traditional_Ale · 07-30-2009, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awildermode

Started from a conversation the Random Thoughts thread by Machiavelli:

-Are you a child of disappointed parents?
-Are you a child of immigrant and/or Asian parents?
-Does your career path differ from what your parents had "planned"?

Do share.

Hey, it is the off season and Boyd just signed...what else is there to talk about?

This totally read in my head in the voice of Bruce Dowbiggen.

For shame, sir.

...

Machiavelli · 07-30-2009, 10:09 PM

I'm not talking about NOT receiving praises, but rather getting scathing remarks whenever I do something that's not perfectly in line with what my father wants.

habernac · 07-30-2009, 10:10 PM

My Dad always told all of us he'd be happy if we were happy, didn't matter if we were garbagemen or accountants. He had a very stressful and high profile job but never expected any of us to do the same. I've had nothing but support over the years.

Phanuthier · 07-30-2009, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Machiavelli

I'm not talking about NOT receiving praises, but rather getting scathing remarks whenever I do something that's not perfectly in line with what my father wants.

Or, Somebody gonna get a hurt a real bad...

Zarathustra · 07-30-2009, 10:13 PM

My parents have enough trust in me and have let me live my own life for a long time now. Even as a kid they had very few rules and trusted that I would do the right thing, and even if I didn't, that I would learn from my mistakes. I'm very happy with my childhood, I think they did a good job. They expected me to do well in school but were there to help if I had problems. They supported me in my hockey endeavors, but didn't push me too hard or try to "live their dreams through me".