I hate any sort of Catholic ceremony or event. They take forever, there's parts in dead languages, and they're always making you stand up and sit down which really makes it hard to daydream about something interesting. They also don't like it when you start pools with the other people in your pew about which altar boy is the priest's "special favourite".
So try to get out of doing a Catholic ceremony if you can.
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My parents used to teach at one of those courses, IIRC it was no big deal, just a bunch of blah-blah-blah that more or less lectured the participants on "family values". The important thing is that the priest will probably ask you if you are willing to bring up your children as Catholics, so if you are against that idea be prepared for him to say he won't officiate the wedding, although some priests are more willing to compromise.
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I remember my stepdad having to do this when he married my mom. I don't think he went many times. 2-3 times maybe?
I think they just tell you what's expected both for the day and for the marriage itself, what the sacrament of marriage means to the church, what you can expect in the religious ceremony. Sometimes, if you're not Catholic, you need to be somehow cleared to participate in somethings. (Cause in olden days, you couldn't marry a Catholic unless you yourself were Catholic). So they may bless you or something like that.
If you're worried that it's going to be like an interview, there's no need to worry about that. Their not going to quiz you on how many partners you've had or if you've done anything wrong. (Haha, at least they shouldn't).
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I'd be curious to hear what was said as I'll be going down this road sometime soon.
One thing that we are wondering about; if I was baptized in another church (United Church) will I have to go through all the Catholic stuff like confirmation? (Or whatever its called?)
I hate any sort of Catholic ceremony or event. They take forever, there's parts in dead languages, and they're always making you stand up and sit down which really makes it hard to daydream about something interesting. They also don't like it when you start pools with the other people in your pew about which altar boy is the priest's "special favourite".
So try to get out of doing a Catholic ceremony if you can.
Really? I've found catholic mass fit's conveniently into a 50 minute time frame give or take 5% without fail. It's some of the protestant events that tend to drag on...
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I went through something similar before getting married (though not Catholic). It probably depends a lot on who's doing it, I know the guy we spoke with was really good and brought up lots of things to think about and consider. Basically their goal was to make sure that we'd thought about things other than just being in love. It was worth it for me.
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[QUOTE=Clarkey;1848427]Really? I've found catholic mass fit's conveniently into a 50 minute time frame give or take 5% without fail. It's some of the protestant events that tend to drag on...[/QUOTE
There are short and long catholic ceremony's. Short is 45mins. Long is 90mins.
Let me tell you, it REALLY depends on the "severity" of the priest your going to see. Now a days, Catholic priests love marrying non catholics to catholics because they can get them to join easier that way. It's a bad joke, but we are quite welcoming when it comes to that.
If your not catholic then the whole process will be paired down substantially for the two of you. Most of what was said is right. Generally it's a form questionnaire they ask. It will be separate for each of you. They will ask the girl if she's entering on her own will, if she's being pressured by anyone to get married, if she's against marriage, etc. They want to know your both in it for the right reasons. They will ask if you live together, will look down their nose at you if you do, but that will be that. They'll ask about family planning and remind you they don't believe in birth control.
Pardon me, that's the actual "interview" part. I just noticed your going to meet with him tomorrow. They'll probably just ask when you want to get married, how involved you want the ceremony and let you know if they can fit it in the schedule or not. They may go over some catholic traditions and expectations. Some churches won't allow anything but a white dress and black tux due to long standing traditions. "If you want a red dress, then book it to the United church" they'll say. But it really comes down to the individual.
You'll also have to attend a class. It can be every week for a month, or one full weekend. It's a little painful, like grade 9 health class. They talk about communication, family history, resolving arguments, money management, etc.
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My inlaws did a Catholic marriage prep thing about 25 years ago. Because of their situation, I think they opted to do one of those couples retreats with a bunch of other engaged couples. Not too sure that kind of thing is offered anymore but I bet it was nice to get it over with in one weekend.
When my wife and I got married in 03, we took a marriage prep class through St. Pius X in Calgary. We met with the priest who was pretty cool actually. He wasn't pleased that we were living together before marriage but it wasn't a deal breaker for him. The actual course was taught by another relatively young couple in the church that had been married for a while. We went to their home, just my wife and I, every Wednesday night for a few months.
There was a little bit of prayer but mostly we just talked with them about stuff and did exercises from the book. Aside from the time commitment it really wasn't all that bad.
Actually, if you get passed all the religious stuff, the course itself would be really beneficial to any couple engaged to be married. The workbook helped you and your partner discuss some pretty heavy topics like handling finances and child-rearing decisions. There were quite a few things in there (like how much you think your partner could spend on a given purchase without having to consult the other) that we never contemplated before.
Knowing the various and sundry reasons for why marriages tend to fail, it wouldn't hurt to do some honest self-reflection and discuss these and other issues with your spouse-to-be. Go into it with an open mind, especially if you're doing a course-based thing like ours, and try to get something out of it.
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We did ours over a weekend. Not a big deal. Some God stuff but overall it was about how important communication is and what causes the biggest arguments in a marriage (money kids etc...) I
Really? I've found catholic mass fit's conveniently into a 50 minute time frame give or take 5% without fail. It's some of the protestant events that tend to drag on...[/QUOTE
There are short and long catholic ceremony's. Short is 45mins. Long is 90mins.
If you have your wedding ceremony with a mass, it'll take the full 90 minutes. You can opt for the wedding ceremony without the mass and it'll be the normal 30-45 minutes depending on what you want included in the ceremony. I would absolutely not have the mass. Your Catholic guests can do that on Sunday.
I think Fedr summed it up pretty well. It makes you reflect on things that you might not have thought/talked about (and years later, when you and your wife get into a fight, you can whip out the work book and say "You didn't tell me that it would bother you if I started wearing your panties!!!)
I was in the same situation (I'm United as well) I just had to give them proof of baptismal (I think it made it look better that while I'm not Catholic, at least I was something)
My husband and I lucked out and got a great couple for our class. They even talked about sex before marriage and weren't condemming at all. Just made sure that it was for love (blah, blah, blah...) and that we would be ready for the consequences of our actions.
I think it just depends on who you have teaching it...
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Let me tell you, it REALLY depends on the "severity" of the priest your going to see. Now a days, Catholic priests love marrying non catholics to catholics because they can get them to join easier that way. It's a bad joke, but we are quite welcoming when it comes to that.
If your not catholic then the whole process will be paired down substantially for the two of you. Most of what was said is right. Generally it's a form questionnaire they ask. It will be separate for each of you. They will ask the girl if she's entering on her own will, if she's being pressured by anyone to get married, if she's against marriage, etc. They want to know your both in it for the right reasons. They will ask if you live together, will look down their nose at you if you do, but that will be that. They'll ask about family planning and remind you they don't believe in birth control.
Pardon me, that's the actual "interview" part. I just noticed your going to meet with him tomorrow. They'll probably just ask when you want to get married, how involved you want the ceremony and let you know if they can fit it in the schedule or not. They may go over some catholic traditions and expectations. Some churches won't allow anything but a white dress and black tux due to long standing traditions. "If you want a red dress, then book it to the United church" they'll say. But it really comes down to the individual.
You'll also have to attend a class. It can be every week for a month, or one full weekend. It's a little painful, like grade 9 health class. They talk about communication, family history, resolving arguments, money management, etc.
Really? That sounds incredibly helpful actually. Maybe this should be a standard. Those wacky Catholics....always on the ball.
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Catholic wedding courses
