so i walk into this bar...

[Hemi-Cuda]

so a friend and I took a roadtrip down to Seattle and Portland to check out a couple of concerts over the past week. Seattle was great, lots of stuff to do and see while just walking around, but Portland sucked. we walked around the downtown area for an hour or so just trying to find something interesting but compared to Seattle it looked like a dump. finally we're both tired of walking around and just want to sit down for a bit and grab a beer while we wait for the concert. we see this bar that looked decent from the outside and was right next to the concert venue, so we think great, we'll just sit here for a bit. but after we get to the bar and order a couple of Miller's they had on tap, my eyes started to adjust to the lower lighting and certain things started to stand out. a disco ball hanging in the middle of the bar, a chalkboard on a wall with the word PONY written in big colorful letters, a poster on the wall behind me that advertised a uniform party for the weekend, the curious lack of female patrons and the two guys across the bar who seemed just a little too friendly. by this point buddy and i are getting a little freaked out so we chug our beer and get the hell out of there

now i still held out hope that maybe it was just our minds playing tricks on us in a strange city, but my friend gets the charge on his credit card and looks the name of the bar up online and on a tourist information site it comes with the label "Categories: Dance Clubs, Dive Bars, Gay Bars"

our first and likely only time in Portland and somehow we stumble upon the only gay bar in the city. about the only positive i can get out of the whole situation is that we wandered in on a dead Wednesday afternoon. i'm not so sure i could laugh about it if we were unfortunate enough to try and get a drink on a Friday night there

[Temporary_User]

It's okay, tell the truthful way the story ended...

[Ronald Pagan]

How awful.

You must feel so violated for going into a gay bar. I can't imagine how horrible an experience it would be to be around openly gay men.

My sympathies.

[Displaced Flames fan]

I'm guessing that is far from the only gay bar in Portland, OR!

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by Ronald Pagan

How awful.

You must feel so violated for going into a gay bar. I can't imagine how horrible an experience it would be to be around openly gay men.

My sympathies.

I sense a little sarcasm.

[Kjesse]

Some things are just meant to be. Maybe that wasn't so random.

[BlackArcher101]

Originally Posted by Delgar

Some things are just meant to be. Maybe that wasn't so random.

Perhaps it was fate or destiny.

[stang]

Originally Posted by Hemi-Cuda

i'm not so sure i could laugh about it if we were unfortunate enough to try and get a drink on a Friday night there

LMAO I am sure its like prison where they are just gonna be forcing it onto you... IF you walk in you have to eat a cockmeat sandwich

[Boblobla]

Originally Posted by stang

LMAO I am sure its like prison where they are just gonna be forcing it onto you... IF you walk in you have to eat a cockmeat sandwich

I have heard they are like that.

[SportsJunky]

I used to live in Portland and you don't do it justice at all. Great city with tons of great stuff to do and see.

How soon are you going back by the way?

[Hack&Lube]

Where's MRC for his take on this?

[stang]

Originally Posted by Boblobla

I have heard they are like that.

oh... my bad then

[Hemi-Cuda]

Originally Posted by SportsJunky

I used to live in Portland and you don't do it justice at all. Great city with tons of great stuff to do and see.

How soon are you going back by the way?

well what did i miss? in Seattle we walked through the famous fish market area, lots of cool stuff in there. then we checked out the space needle and the experience music project building. and we did a small tour around the historic area with the Seattle Underground thing. plus there are the Mariners and Seahawks which we weren't able to see but add a lot to a city

in Portland though it just didn't seem to have the same tourist appeal. admittedly we only spent a short time there, but we wandered around downtown for quite a bit and it was fairly dull. plus the area around the Roseland Theater seemed quite grungy, like going to a concert in forest lawn. of course with any city i'm sure there's stuff around to do that we never saw, but nothing ever jumped out at us like in Seattle

[SportsJunky]

You missed the really fancy gay bars.

[Hemi-Cuda]

Originally Posted by stang

oh... my bad then

well on the tourist site that lists the bar, this was part of one of the reviews

I went on a Friday night, and the bar was pretty packed: getting a drink took a while (but to their defense, they have good and cheap beer on tap), and I got groped and grabbed a little more than I enjoy while waiting in line. There's dancing downstairs (pretty eclectic mix), and some huge TV screens, most of which show pretty hardcore (and gross) gay porn ("Rammer" and "Forced Entry" are only two of the titles I remember...). They also have a tiny leather shop tucked in a corner (closed while I was there), and a sling hanging from the ceiling above the dance floor (now that's classy decoration!... j/k)

of course i'm sure if i did happen to be in that area on a friday night, i'd be able to tell by looking at the place from outside that it wouldn't be my kind of place

[jammies]

You should have banged on the bar and demanded someone buy you a beer, 'cause you weren't going home alone. Then, after drinking free beer, yell "my shoes are on fire!" and run out of the bar.

*note - do not actually light shoes on fire.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by fotze

cockmeat isn't censored?

photon must lament that he has to now censor cockmeat. Photon, this is your life.

lol... How about buttsteak? Or dickweed? pho, get to work!!

[Wookie]

buttsex

[surferguy]

Maybe if Portland had a couple nice pedestrian bridges downtown you would have liked it better.

[CaptainCrunch]

Did you drop your wallet, then kick it all the way to California before you bent over to pick it up?