Free-range Children

[redforever]

I found this article in the latest issue of Maclean's magazine quite a good read. It has been something I have been concerned about for some time, adults who over parent, children not having the luxury of just playing and being children.

Virtually since boomers started reproducing (and assumed they invented child-rearing as they assume they invented sex), children, at least those born to the middle classes of the developed world, have been reared on all the essential vitamins, and megadoses of irony. Parents want to raise risk-takers (without exposing them to risk), to give them the freedom (to follow parental dreams), to be spontaneous and imaginative (pencil that in between judo and piano, if the homework is done).


The spirit of hyper-parenting was brilliantly parodied in a recent advertising blitz sponsored by Colleges Ontario, representing 24 applied arts and technology schools. The ads touted a mythic mind-control drug called Obay, "from the makers of WhyBecauseISaidSo." They show happy parents and blissed-out kids above such tag lines as: "My son used to have his own hopes and aspirations. Now he has mine. Thanks, Obay!" A video spot shows a nurse handing a glowing mom her newborn. "Honey," she tells her husband, "It's a lawyer!"

http://www.macleans.ca/culture/lifestyle/article.jsp?content=20080402_47686_47686

[Nufy]

And they taste so much better than the factory farm raised ones......

[burn_baby_burn]

I read an article in a pull out of the Herald a few years ago about coddling. The author stated that she walked to school by herself or with a friend from Kindergarten to Graduation. Now when you go by a Calgary school at the closing bell it is loaded with waiting vehicles to drive the kids home. Many only a block or two away.

[redforever]

Originally Posted by fotze

It is ridiculous, you are ruining your kid if you do not plan on putting your kid in some sort of immersion program, a private waldorf pre-school. In my day you went to the school nearest to you and that was that. Now you have to go to open houses and all this crap in the hopes your kid gets into the school. I think wives going to "baby groups" helps contribute to this. Baby group becomes a silent, veiled passive aggressive baby rearing competition.

Sadly, very often too true.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by fotze

It is ridiculous, you are ruining your kid if you do not plan on putting your kid in some sort of immersion program, a private waldorf pre-school. In my day you went to the school nearest to you and that was that. Now you have to go to open houses and all this crap in the hopes your kid gets into the school. I think wives going to "baby groups" helps contribute to this. Baby group becomes a silent, veiled passive aggressive baby rearing competition.

I totally agree with you here. Its comical to watch...as the kids grow up some of the attendees can't understand why their kids are so whiny! Its because they can't do anything for themselves!!

I have a niece who is eight years old and has never walked to school on her own...I remember walking to school alone in kindergarten. She goes to an "arts-focused" school. I guess she was quite the performer when she made her career choice at 4 years of age? Everyone I knew growing up went to school with the unwashed masses and we all turned out just fine.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by burn_baby_burn

I read an article in a pull out of the Herald a few years ago about coddling. The author stated that she walked to school by herself or with a friend from Kindergarten to Graduation. Now when you go by a Calgary school at the closing bell it is loaded with waiting vehicles to drive the kids home. Many only a block or two away.

yeah, walking with them would be too much exercise. And they wonder why their kids aren't active when they ferry them everywhere in the car. I walked or biked to school when I was a kid. The problem in our neighbourhood is that the wonderful city/province didn't bother giving us a school so unless he's a distance runner at age 5 or 6, he'll be bussing to school.

[gordo67]

My daughter was 9 when she started walking home from school (last year) We never forced her to walk home on her own, instead we decided to let her choose when she wanted to start. My wife doesn't work so it isn't a big inconvenience for her to drive her. She drives our 6 year old to kindergarten anyway. We definetly don't coddle out kids, if anything we are to lenient when it comes to doing what they do.

[burn_baby_burn]

Originally Posted by habernac

yeah, walking with them would be too much exercise. And they wonder why their kids aren't active when they ferry them everywhere in the car. I walked or biked to school when I was a kid. The problem in our neighbourhood is that the wonderful city/province didn't bother giving us a school so unless he's a distance runner at age 5 or 6, he'll be bussing to school.

Its not only that. Its the fear that something might happen between point A and point B. The worry that somebody might abduct your child in the three block walk from school. Sure it has happened and will happen again. But chances are they have a much better chance of getting hit by a car. Allthough I'm sure that is a major source of grief for some parents as well.

[CaptainCrunch]

There was no rides to school or the bus for me growing up.

Nope, we were expected to fist fight all the way to school and all the way home afterwards.

during recess, we were encouraged to load a nerds mouth up with mud and then punch them in the gut.

At lunch we stole lunch money, and ran over small animals with our big wheels.

We were ripped in shape and we could kick the butts of any kids raised nowdays in this namby pamby environment.

[skippy]

I also remember walking to and from school some 20 years ago... Now I have a little one but too many times I've heard about these child sex offenders/abductors... You want your child to be safe but you also want them to be independent... I know that those instances of abduction may be rare but try telling that to the parents of those that have been abducted... Its tougher nowadays with all the sickos out there...

[llama64]

Free range children?

GET OFF MAH LAWN!

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by skippy

Its tougher nowadays with all the sickos out there...

I don't think there are any more sickos nowadays than there were 20 years ago. We are more spooked by sickos because we hear about every sicko and watch murder shows on TV all the time but I don't think the fear is based on an actual higher prevalence of sickos and more abductions.

But if I was a parent I probably wouldn't let my kids walk to school for worry of a sicko.

[MarchHare]

Originally Posted by skippy

I also remember walking to and from school some 20 years ago... Now I have a little one but too many times I've heard about these child sex offenders/abductors... You want your child to be safe but you also want them to be independent... I know that those instances of abduction may be rare but try telling that to the parents of those that have been abducted... Its tougher nowadays with all the sickos out there...

Emphasis added

I don't have time to look up the stats, but IIRC, instances of child-abduction are no more common today than they were 40 years ago. The difference is that back then we didn't have 24-hour cable news channels and amber alerts trying to induce panic and fear in parents all the damn time.

I started walking home alone from Kindergarten when I was four (about a 15 minute walk). My parents taught me to always come straight home, follow the same route everyday, and NEVER get into a vehicle with anyone, even if it was someone I knew.

Parents these days are hyper-protective and think the entire world is one giant safety hazard for their kids. OTOH, the mother in the following story is my hero. She let her 9 year old son take the NYC subway home alone, armed only with a map and $20 in cash (no cell phone even!). Yet when she told other parents about how proud and independant that little adventure made her son feel, half of them wanted to lock her up for child abuse.

I left my 9-year-old at Bloomingdale’s (the original one) a couple weeks ago. Last seen, he was in first floor handbags as I sashayed out the door.

Bye-bye! Have fun!

And he did. He came home on the subway and bus by himself

Was I worried? Yes, a tinge. But it didn’t strike me as that daring, either. Isn’t New York as safe now as it was in 1963? It’s not like we’re living in downtown Baghdad.

Anyway, for weeks my boy had been begging for me to please leave him somewhere, anywhere, and let him try to figure out how to get home on his own. So on that sunny Sunday I gave him a subway map, a MetroCard, a $20 bill, and several quarters, just in case he had to make a call.

No, I did not give him a cell phone. Didn’t want to lose it. And no, I didn’t trail him, like a mommy private eye. I trusted him to figure out that he should take the Lexington Avenue subway down, and the 34th Street crosstown bus home. If he couldn’t do that, I trusted him to ask a stranger. And then I even trusted that stranger not to think, “Gee, I was about to catch my train home, but now I think I’ll abduct this adorable child instead.”

Long story short: My son got home, ecstatic with independence.

Long story longer, and analyzed, to boot: Half the people I’ve told this episode to now want to turn me in for child abuse. As if keeping kids under lock and key and helmet and cell phone and nanny and surveillance is the right way to rear kids. It’s not. It’s debilitating — for us and for them.

http://www.nysun.com/editorials/why-...e-subway-alone

[GirlySports]

Poor kids today gotta protect them from everything!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_nPHggnK60

[troutman]

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

[habernac]

Originally Posted by troutman

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

now picture Michael Jackson singing that and laugh.....

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by habernac

now picture Michael Jackson singing that and laugh.....

Except its Whitney Houston singing it, but they look about the same except Michael Jackson is white.

[burn_baby_burn]

My wife was mad at me because I let our 9 year old daughter and her friend go to get a sno cone by themselves during intermission at a Flames game this year. I wasn't really worried. She has sat in our seats a dozen times. Knows her way around the rink. I thought it was ok. I always tell her to keep her ticket in her pocket so she can show the usher if she gets lost.

[The Yen Man]

I went Trick or Treating with friends by ourselves when I was 7. I can't really imagine parents letting their kids do that now, but at the time it didn't seem that big a deal to me. I guess times change. You get all the Gen Xers now having kids and being paranoid about everything. The fact they're exposed to 24/7 barrages from the media about pedophiles and murderers probably doesn't help.

I guess I don't really know since I'm not a parent. But it seems a lot more complicated being a kid these days than when I was a kid, that's for sure.

[Thunderball]

Its kind of a catch-22 though.

We wouldn't have all these alternative schools and emphasis on high achievement, early career tracks and self-serving extra cirricular activities if they weren't so necessary nowadays. Public schools are becoming more and more overcrowded, and the prevailing wisdom is that the quality must be decreasing as a result. Whether it actually is going down is anyone's guess.

Twenty years ago, there wasn't the huge emphasis on education that there is now. There were way more university/college/trade/professional school positions available per capita than there are now. People were able to carve out careers with meagre education without hitting near as many barriers as there are now.

We lament the shortage of teachers, doctors, registered nurses/nurse practitioners, lawyers, accountants, etc, but its harder than ever to get into these positions, regardless of aptitudes (at least this is the case in Canada). In order to get into these programs (to varying extent), one needs to be jam packed with the types of things the original article complains about, as well as have superior grades and a little bit of good fortune. Children are being forced to abandon their childhoods in order to have a chance of reaching their potential.