06-19-2007, 08:34 AM
|
#1
|
|
CP Pontiff
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: A pasture out by Millarville
|
Words of Mass Infuriation
From the Daily Telegraph in London . . . some subtle humour for fans of the English language.
Eager to preserve the English language against a rising tide of nonsense, we asked readers to compose a piece of prose crammed with as many infuriating phrases as possible. Christopher Howse is amazed and amused by the torrent of replies...
An example:
I hear what you're saying but, with all due respect, it's not exactly rocket science. Basically, at the end of the day, the fact of the matter is you have got to be able to tick all the boxes. It's not the end of the world, but, to be perfectly honest with you, when push comes to shove, you don't want to be literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. Going forward we need to be singing from the same songsheet but you can't see the wood from the trees. Naturally hindsight is 20/20 vision and you have to take the rough with the smooth before proceeding onwards and upwards. The bottom line is you wear your heart on your sleeve and, when all is said and done, this is all part and parcel of the ongoing bigger picture. C'est la vie (if you know what I mean).
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/core/Cont...&site=4&page=0
Cowperson
__________________
Dear Lord, help me to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. - Anonymous
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 09:51 AM
|
#2
|
|
Referee
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Over the hill
|
I love this kind of stuff--though I do sometimes wonder if there's a touch of elitism among those who are self-anointed guardians of the language. After all, what's being made fun of (for the most part) is two things: working-class diction, and professional jargon. The pluralist in me says that how the working classes talk isn't "wrong"--it's just how they use language. And the academic in me sees a purpose for professional jargon, even when it seems impenetrable to people who aren't in the profession.
At the same time, many of the things that annoy the authors also annoy me--like excessive use of question marks when you're not asking questions.
My favourite example from the link:
Quote:
|
To be honest with you, I'm pressurised 24/7. I'm literally in pieces.
|
People use "literally" to mean "figuratively" all the time. (in fact, James Joyce does this in "The Dead" as a kind of sly joke on 20th century language use--but my "English nerd" colours are showing...) It kind of drives me nuts.
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 10:22 AM
|
#3
|
|
In the Sin Bin
|
Surprisingly, the word "irony/ironic" wasnt mentione once.
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 10:28 AM
|
#4
|
|
Has Towel, Will Travel
|
We need more writers like Robert Kroetsch and Sid Marty ... writers who can skillfully and appropriately combine poetry, prose and gutter talk and raise the use of language to the level of art. Instead we get more speech & PR writers.
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 10:44 AM
|
#5
|
|
First Line Centre
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: London, Ontario
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowa_Flames_Fan
People use "literally" to mean "figuratively" all the time. (in fact, James Joyce does this in "The Dead" as a kind of sly joke on 20th century language use--but my "English nerd" colours are showing...) It kind of drives me nuts.
|
That drives someone else on here batty as well. Captain Crunch or Hulkrogan? Maybe both.
"He literally had me by the balls" Hahahaaaaaaaa!!!
__________________
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 01:04 PM
|
#6
|
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in your blind spot.
|
How about this sentence:
Quote:
|
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
|
And Yes, it is gramatically correct. link
__________________
"The problem with any ideology is that it gives the answer before you look at the evidence."
—Bill Clinton
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance--it is the illusion of knowledge."
—Daniel J. Boorstin, historian, former Librarian of Congress
"But the Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity"
—WKRP in Cincinatti
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 01:18 PM
|
#7
|
|
First Line Centre
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Niceland
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobblehead
How about this sentence:
And Yes, it is gramatically correct. link |
Bullsh*t!
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 01:21 PM
|
#8
|
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in your blind spot.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesy
Bullsh*t!
|
Care to expand on that?
__________________
"The problem with any ideology is that it gives the answer before you look at the evidence."
—Bill Clinton
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance--it is the illusion of knowledge."
—Daniel J. Boorstin, historian, former Librarian of Congress
"But the Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity"
—WKRP in Cincinatti
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 01:43 PM
|
#9
|
|
First Line Centre
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Niceland
|
buffalo ---> bull
i guess i meant buffalo sh*t?
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 02:05 PM
|
#10
|
|
Referee
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Over the hill
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobblehead
How about this sentence:
And Yes, it is gramatically correct. link |
Hah. That made my day. I'll have to remember that one for my students.
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 02:12 PM
|
#11
|
|
First Line Centre
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: London, Ontario
|
One that drives me nuts is one of my co-workers "unthaws" stuff for dinner. When I ask him why he is freezing stuff he wants to cook for dinner, he just looks at me blankly....
__________________
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 02:29 PM
|
#12
|
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in your blind spot.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesy
buffalo ---> bull
i guess i meant buffalo sh*t?
|
So you don't believe it?
I guess you can debate with professional linguists if you want to try and convince them. Here's their mailing list.
link
__________________
"The problem with any ideology is that it gives the answer before you look at the evidence."
—Bill Clinton
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance--it is the illusion of knowledge."
—Daniel J. Boorstin, historian, former Librarian of Congress
"But the Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity"
—WKRP in Cincinatti
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 03:52 PM
|
#13
|
|
First Line Centre
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Niceland
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobblehead
So you don't believe it?
I guess you can debate with professional linguists if you want to try and convince them. Here's their mailing list.
link |
Yes, i do believe it. I was simply trying to be a linguini myself by using bull instead of buffalo, since they went to great pains to only use buffalo, and a bull is somewhat like a buffalo.
Sheeesh.
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 03:54 PM
|
#14
|
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in your blind spot.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesy
Yes, i do believe it. I was simply trying to be a linguini myself by using bull instead of buffalo, since they went to great pains to only use buffalo, and a bull is somewhat like a buffalo.
Sheeesh.
|
Sorry, it has been a looong few weeks. I need a beer - stat!
__________________
"The problem with any ideology is that it gives the answer before you look at the evidence."
—Bill Clinton
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance--it is the illusion of knowledge."
—Daniel J. Boorstin, historian, former Librarian of Congress
"But the Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity"
—WKRP in Cincinatti
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:12 AM.
|
|
