Newfie Solutions.....

[Nufy]

And they say we're dumb......


Susie, the Newfie housewife from Mount Pearl, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned-cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" Bruce came running in.
"Bruce, I've done bloody well suctioned myself to the floor," she said.
"God Dam" sez Bruce as he tried to pull her up. " You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get me buddy Sonny to help".
They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way, we can't do it,"
Sonny Sez, "so let's try Plan B."
"Plan B," exclaimed Bruce, "what da hell wud dat be bye?"
"I'll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles underneath her," replied Sonny.
"Righton, " Bruce sez "and while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" sez Sonny, " its not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"Like hell" sez Bruce, " if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive!"

[shane_c]

Too funny!

Here's another one....

After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Scottish scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the
conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than
100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, British
scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters, and shortly after headlines in the
UK newspapers read: 'British archaeologists have found traces of 200 year
old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an
advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than The
Scots.'

One week later, an East Coast newspaper, reported the following: 'After
digging as deep as 30 meters in fields near Come-By-Chance, NFLD ... George
Upshal, a self taught archeologist, reported that he found absolutely
nothing. George has, therefore, concluded that 300 years ago
Newfoundlanders were already using wireless.'