How will you be remembered? - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Frank the Tank · 03-12-2007, 09:07 PM

Last week a former friend passed away in an untimely and unfortunate manner. Myself and two other friends went to the visitation and the funeral, and as usual, ended up at a local pub for some pints one night after visitation.

A quick background for everyone. We moved when I was almost done grade 11, so as far as high school friends go, I have essentially three. (well, two now). Mike, Rob, John and I are all very similar and I guess thats why we clicked. We are all jocks, all come from stable middle-class families, were all decent students and all went on to post-secondary education as well as post-secondary athletics. John lasted one year and flunked out. Badly. Ever since then, his life just went into a downward spiral, to the point where he alienated all of his family and all of his friends. He stole property from all of us and even went as far as to steal one of our identities and cause all sorts of problems for that person.

So after several pints and a lot of silence, we started to get it out. We didn't know how to feel because our former friend, who we knew very well, was gone. But none of us were too sad because he had screwed us all so badly. So we were sad that we weren't sad, if that makes sense at all.

And then Mike asked the question, "how do you want to be remembered?" It kind of hit us all like a ton of bricks. There are conversations over pints, and then there are conversations that make the world stop for a minute.

It was tougher than I thought, but mine was mostly about my son and how (assuming that I kick it when he is older, not the toddler he is now) I want him to remember me as a man of character. A guy that did the right thing, not the easy thing. A guy that stood up and was counted and never sat on the fence but was never perfect. A guy that people could love or could hate, but one thing you had to do was respect him.

So if you could leave a mark or a statement, that people would say at your wake "thats what _______ was all about", what would it be?

FireFly · 03-12-2007, 09:12 PM

I want to be remembered as someone who gave love without restrictions or limits. As the person you would go to if you ever needed a hand or a smile or a hug because I would always have one, or a shirt because I would never hesitate to give you mine. That's the most important thing to me.

SpitFire40 · 03-12-2007, 09:13 PM

I don't think like this at all and really find it completely unproductive. You'll be remembered in alot of different ways so why even think about it?

I don't intend to stomp all over your thread as i'm sure some people will be interested, but I live in the moment that exists right now, I don't think about how anything i've done or the decisions i've made will impact how people remember me whenever my time comes.

So how will I be remembered?? Who knows... I just live my life

FireFly · 03-12-2007, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpitFire40

I don't think like this at all and really find it completely unproductive. You'll be remembered in alot of different ways so why even think about it?

I don't intend to stomp all over your thread as i'm sure some people will be interested, but I live in the moment that exists right now, I don't think about how anything i've done or the decisions i've made will impact how people remember me whenever my time comes.

So how will I be remembered?? Who knows... I just live my life

Most people actually find this kind of thing to be really productive. If you think about how you want to be remembered in all aspects of your life, you will then try to live a life to reflect that. For example if you want to be remembered as a hard worker or a great boss, you'll strive to do just that. It's not about what you HAVE done, it's about what you WILL do to ensure you're the kind of person you want to be.

SpitFire40 · 03-12-2007, 09:51 PM

I guess, I just don't like the mindset... You don't need to strive for these things to be remembered in order for them to happen.

I just don't think like that is all.

Hemi-Cuda · 03-12-2007, 09:53 PM

well there's one way i don't want to be remembered, and that's as someone whose last words are "Hey guys, watch this!"

Phanuthier · 03-12-2007, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpitFire40

I don't think like this at all and really find it completely unproductive. You'll be remembered in alot of different ways so why even think about it?

I don't intend to stomp all over your thread as i'm sure some people will be interested, but I live in the moment that exists right now, I don't think about how anything i've done or the decisions i've made will impact how people remember me whenever my time comes.

So how will I be remembered?? Who knows... I just live my life

I'd agree with that as well... sorry I don't mean to stomp on your thread either Frank, I guess it was never really something that meant alot to me. Maybe when I'm 70 and I have a legacy I want to leave behind, but at the present time, its not something I'd find important.

BlackArcher101 · 03-12-2007, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FireFly

If you think about how you want to be remembered in all aspects of your life, you will then try to live a life to reflect that

Have you been reading The Secret?

As for the question at hand.... well... it's hard to say. Like you said, it's a question that makes the world stop for a minute.

I used to want to be remembered by material things I leave behind, like an invention that has a major impact on the world. Or something that will last a long time, such as a hit album release. But now, since I've been gaining some life experience (keyword some), my thinking has changed. I'd like to be remembered as a person that is always there for you when needed, will never say no to a favor request, and as a sincere person with high morals and ethics. As well, I like to be remembered through stories after I'm gone, that hopefully my kid and his/her kid will keep passing on. To me, that's all that matters right now.

Azure · 03-12-2007, 09:56 PM

As someone who cared about everyone. Who went out of his way to help those in need, and was there whenever someone needed a friend or someone to talk too.

photon · 03-12-2007, 10:07 PM

I think these kinds of questions are great, they provoke introspection.. I don't think it's good to just float and live one's life, but I also think being so focused on a goal that you miss life entirely is also a mistake.

But I think some introspection is very good, there are times when one has to make conscious changes to their lives to make things better.

Personally, I'd like to be remembered as someone to be feared and awed.

Barring that, I'd like to be remembered as a good dad, and as someone that made a difference in a few people's lives.

pope04 · 03-12-2007, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photon

I think these kinds of questions are great, they provoke introspection.

Yes, me too. Good thread idea.

Like Frank, I have little kids, and I hope that they remember me as someone that always tells the truth, no matter what.

CaptainCrunch · 03-12-2007, 10:27 PM

Played like an allstar
partied like a rockstar
******** like a pornstar

Dion · 03-12-2007, 10:58 PM

My main goal is to make a difference in someones life.

I volunteer some of my free time with the Special Olympics, the local hospital and in nursing homes. I don't do it to be recognised or rewarded. It's just that I have alot of compassion for my fellow man and I hope that what I do makes their lives better.

It is my hope that I wil be remembered for the above.

STeeLy · 03-13-2007, 02:10 AM

I want to be remembered as the person who always stood up for his friends when he believes they are right.

I want to be remembered as the person who isn't afraid to voice his opinion and faces challenges.

Most of all, I want to be remembered as the person who cares when no one else did.

PsYcNeT · 03-13-2007, 03:14 AM

I believe I will always be remembered as the guy who never took anything seriously enough to ever be really bothered or flustered, and enjoyed life in the most pure way possible.

This comes with it's positive and negative connotations, but in the end, I'm always the one finding good in a bad situation and always willing to help someone up when they are down.

Frank the Tank · 03-13-2007, 07:08 AM

Well I see your guys points, but just keep in mind, tomorrow could be your last day. You truly never know. Its not that we sit around thinking about it all the time and try to look for things to define our "legacy", it was simply a mind-altering conversation over some pints during a really difficult time.

Lombogirl · 03-13-2007, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Played like an allstar
partied like a rockstar
******** like a pornstar

LOL!

I think this is a useful topic to consider. It doesn't have to be a downer, but it makes you evaluate who you are. Living life day to day and being spontaneous is great, but everyone has to check in once in a while (before we check OUT).

Reaper · 03-13-2007, 08:21 AM

This question made me wonder how people would remember me after I'm dead by I would hope that I'd be known as a guy who lived with passion and tried to be the best person he could be. While I'm sure I will be remembered as a man who is/was not close to perfect I'd like to think that I'll be remembered as someone who treasured those close to him and did the best he could with he had. I definitely want to be remembered as a man who loved his wife dearly and did nothing to compromise the integrity of his marriage.

Mean Mr. Mustard · 03-13-2007, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fotze

Oh, don't worry photon, you already have........Insert Joe er singing "What would you do if I sang out of tuune, wouldya stand up and walk out on me"

I think I speak for everyone here in saying that if you dropped dead tomorrow I would remember you as a very tall man.

Cowperson · 03-13-2007, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frank the Tank

Mike, Rob, John and I are all very similar and I guess thats why we clicked. We are all jocks, all come from stable middle-class families, were all decent students and all went on to post-secondary education as well as post-secondary athletics. John lasted one year and flunked out. Badly. Ever since then, his life just went into a downward spiral, to the point where he alienated all of his family and all of his friends. He stole property from all of us and even went as far as to steal one of our identities and cause all sorts of problems for that person.

So after several pints and a lot of silence, we started to get it out. We didn't know how to feel because our former friend, who we knew very well, was gone. But none of us were too sad because he had screwed us all so badly. So we were sad that we weren't sad, if that makes sense at all.

A few years after High School ended, I learned one guy in our class had died in a roll-over and the very first thing that came spontaneously into my head on hearing the news was "GOOD!!"

That shocking thought caused a little bit of introspection on my part but even after all that, I still couldn't help thinking "GOOD!!" And I still think "GOOD!!" today as well.

The guy was a chronic, violent bully to everyone around him and the planet was far better off without him for sure.

As to how I would want to be remembered, I'm on Spitfire's side and I think the best policy is to let everyone else figure that out after you've lived your life the way you've wanted to live it, rather than the way you think people expected you to.

Cowperson