What do you give your 70-year old father for his birthday... - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Shawnski · 07-30-2006, 11:50 PM

... when he is dying?

This isn't a joke. 10 days from now, my Dad turns 70. But his frail, cancer ridden body is on its last legs. Normally I am pretty creative, but right now... I am at a loss for any spark of imagination.

Doing nothing isn't an option, nor is almost anything I can think of...

Reggie Dunlop · 07-30-2006, 11:51 PM

Something for his favorite charity?

jolinar of malkshor · 07-30-2006, 11:52 PM

Man that sucks. What about a slide show of all his old pictures or whould that be to sad for him?

Regulator75 · 07-31-2006, 12:23 AM

Nothing is better than the gift of time.

Spend nothing but time with him.

or

Does he still watch TV? Maybe there's a newly released DVD / Boxset of something from his past that he used to watch regularly.

Shawnski · 07-31-2006, 12:32 AM

Reg, thanks, but for his last birthday, I think I was looking more personal.

Jolinar, good thought, but he has all the pictures, and has already taken the time to set them up into great albums.

Regulator, yes, time is key... just got back again today (he is in Southern BC.)... and I will be going back frequently still.

Jolinar did plant one seed though... previous memories.. people. Dad couched a bunch of us kids in baseball for a while. He still has one baseball we all signed when we went to the BC Provincials. Perhaps there are enough in the area that could come out to give him another signed ball, and say hi.

Keep them coming, please. Tough time. If I bite anyone's head off in another thread... well, you know why. A bit touchy right now.

the_only_turek_fan · 07-31-2006, 12:41 AM

Tough to get a gift for someone that has had 69 birthdays to date. But I agree with Regulator, maybe you can take a small trip somewhere if that is possible? Either way I am sure your father has whatever material item I can think of.

Spend lots of time with him, and enjoy the little things in life such as a family BBQ or a picnic out in the mountains.

Vulcan · 07-31-2006, 01:04 AM

My dad, when in his 80's, after a couple of strokes, was stuck using an electric wheelchair. He wanted me to drive him out onto a hill with his rifle so he could shoot one last deer. I didn't do it for various reasons, but I kind of regret not giving him the chance. I'm not sure what I'm getting at, but maybe ask him if he's got any wild wishes left, that you could help him with.

Azure · 07-31-2006, 01:05 AM

The best I can come up with is to spend as much time possible with him as you can.

Like many posters have said, the memories will be the most important for him, and spending time with your father can bring back, and make good memories.

ken0042 · 07-31-2006, 09:03 AM

A 5 year subscription to his favourite magazine?

I know you have gone above and beyond what many people would do in terms of not only spending time with him, but putting your life on hold for him. In terms of what can you do to top it, I'm not sure what more you can humanly do.

Another suggestion is a party- see if you can round up old friends, family, co-workers, army buddies, etc. If he coached, have some of those kids (now adults I assume) come by.

Lanny_MacDonald · 07-31-2006, 09:11 AM

Shawnski, I'm heading down that same path myself, so here's my suggestion and what I hope to do, one last time with my father. Take him for a drive, someplace special that he will appreciate. Then tell him how important he has been to you and what impact he has had on your life. Be specific. Let this be a little trip down memory lane for both of you, and let him remember the good times you shared. Telling him this from your heart will be the greatest gift you can give your father. He will know that he has done his job well, and that you know the same thing. His job as a father will be done.

habernac · 07-31-2006, 09:20 AM

the baseball idea is a great one, Shawnski. Sorry I can't add anything more original. My Dad's 60th was a week ago and it's tough to buy for him as well. Luckily, I have a six month old boy and managed to give him some great photos.

lazy_programmer · 07-31-2006, 09:21 AM

Maybe some sort of video montage with messages from people that are close to him.

flamesfever · 07-31-2006, 10:05 AM

Shawnski, sorry to hear about your Dad.

Should he be a lover of music, may I suggest an i-pod as a present. My son and his wife gave me one for a Christmas present last year, and they downloaded a part of their collection of "old fogey" music from their i-pod on to mine. Last winter I slipped on some ice and broke my arm, and listening to the music during my difficult recovery was very comforting at the time. Perhaps you may have some of the music of the 50's, 60's and 70's, in digital form, that could be downloaded.

In the above posts, I also like the idea of a video montage, covering the highlights of his life, with music in the background, and maybe combined with a gathering of old friends and relatives, should he be up to it.

Hope this helps.

peter12 · 07-31-2006, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnski

... when he is dying?

This isn't a joke. 10 days from now, my Dad turns 70. But his frail, cancer ridden body is on its last legs. Normally I am pretty creative, but right now... I am at a loss for any spark of imagination.

Doing nothing isn't an option, nor is almost anything I can think of...

From your previous posts I am guessing you guys are pretty outdoorsy. I am also guessing your father is incredibly weak and sick. Is he okay to go for a drive around the mountains. Maybe bring along a couple lawnchairs and a cooler full of something, find a nice lake in Kananaskis you can pull up beside. Sit down by the lake and just chat about the old days.

metallicat · 07-31-2006, 10:16 AM

I am sorry you are going through this Shawnski, good luck to you.

I think the ideas about going for a drive and just being with him in such a private and personal, yet outdoorsy type atmosphere, are just perfect.

Shawnski · 08-01-2006, 10:56 AM

Thanks for your input and support folks. Some good ideas and sentiments. Lanny, sorry to hear about your father too. Tough times.

Flashpoint · 08-01-2006, 10:59 AM

My condolences Shawnski.

I agree with the above posters. Time with family. Maybe even fly in a relative who otherwise wouldn't make it.

TheyCallMeBruce · 08-01-2006, 11:04 AM

Maybe you can do a surprise party for him. It could be one of those "this is your life" type things, where you would hunt down and bring people in his past to the party.

GrrlGoalie33 · 08-01-2006, 11:11 AM

Speaking from experience with some very dear friends of mine who both passed away earlier this year...They didn't want to be reminded of their frailty and mortality.

With Doreen, I took her to watch her grandson in a karate tournament, we went to the zoo, surprised her daughter at the lake, out for lunch...those types of things. Sadly, Albert passed away before I figured out to do those things for them.

You mentioned your Dad coached you in BB. Maybe if it's something you both still enjoy, you can take him to watch a little league game.