This reminds me of a classic Canadian joke:
"Phillip: I'm looking for a mechanic. Can you tell me how to get to the auto garage?
Terrance: Sure, buddy! All you need to do is go down to the...........................[letting out a big long fart, drowning out whatever he is saying].......................and that's how you [boys join in] get to the auto garage!
Phillip: Can you tell me how to get to the auto garage without farting?
Terrance: Sure. You go the same way [Kyle chimes in] except stick your finger up your ass.
Phillip: No no no! I mean, could you tell me the directions again without you farting?
Terrance: OOOH! Sure! Just stick your finger up my ass.
Phillip: Alright, no problem, buddy. [Terrance lowers his pants enough to show his ass; Phillip sticks his finger in there] Now, tell me: How do I get to the auto garage to see a mechanic?
Terrance: [now wearing a mechanic's hat] You're at the auto garage. I am the mechanic.
Phillip: Why the heck didn't you tell me you were the mechanic?
Terrance: Because I had an itch up my ass."
"I had an itch up my ass"...CLASSIC!
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That's the bottom line, because StoneCole said so!
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