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Old 08-09-2023, 03:16 PM   #1
malcolmk14
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Default Sliver makes lip balm - a review

A couple of weeks ago our favourite* forum weirdo, Sliver, mentioned in passing that he spends some of his apparently abundant free time making a homemade lip balm in his garage.

I am sure I wasn't the only person who thought this was exceedingly weird, but I was, to my knowledge, the only person to take him up on his offer of mailing out a container of it.

Last week I got a package with a nice hand-written, personalized card inside, and a small container of "Lip-Whip.com". I tried the website, it leads nowhere. I should disclose that I was not paid or prompted for this review, but I was provided the sample of Lip-Whip.com for free.

First of all, the packaging was pretty professional. Not only does Sliver make homemade lip balm in his garage, he's created a logo and ordered small containers to distribute the stuff. I'm guessing the logo was made by one of his children, hopefully not under duress, because it's got some childlike elements to the design.

Opening up the container at room temperature, the contents had some hold to them and weren't liquified. There were some small bubbles, which must be where the "whip" comes in, I wonder if part of the manufacturing process of this concoction is whipping it with a beater. It looked like it had been squeezed out of a toothpaste tube. I dipped my finger in and the consistency was pretty good, a little "lighter" than the consistency of petroleum jelly, with an element of lotion to it. Scent - non-existent. I applied the product to both lips and smacked them together. Taste - non-existent. I liked it.

The feeling on my lips was a little bit heavier on the lotion than what I'm used to. There was no greasiness or glossiness, it had a matte, invisible finish. The "lubricated" feeling lasted about half an hour while eating Cool Ranch Doritos at a casual pace and occasionally licking my lips. A re-application later provided similar results. I now keep the Lip-Whip.com next to my laptop station and will probably use it occasionally until it is gone.

Overall, the experience of the Lip-Whip.com was pleasant, but its mere existence does leave me with more questions than answers.

I'm sure it's unrelated but I have this weird rash on my face that I need to get looked at. Have a great day!




Last edited by malcolmk14; 08-09-2023 at 03:19 PM.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:19 PM   #2
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Part of me didn't think this was real, but part of me knew immediately that you would receive the lip balm. I cannot believe that you went through with touching it to your face/mouth. Good on you man.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:20 PM   #3
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What fresh Hell is this??
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:21 PM   #4
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^when the strychnine that he laced this with sets in and you're foaming at the mouth, I hope you can die comfortably knowing that your lips aren't dry.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:22 PM   #5
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I have officially marked this day on the calendar in case Malcolmk14 suddenly stops posting.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:23 PM   #6
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Bravest soul on CP.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:26 PM   #7
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This, easily, is the best post I have read on the forum in quite some time.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:27 PM   #8
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Something about this makes me uncomfortable.

Did he hand draw that label with the fake doily pattern and the swirls?

Although I do think there is a market for a low cost and effective lip balm. Should we put our collective power together to get Sliver a spot on Dragon's Den?
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:29 PM   #9
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oh. my. god.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:32 PM   #10
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:34 PM   #11
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Lol wtf. I somehow missed Sliver's post about this. This thread is too funny.

I'm also almost surprised Sliver didn't send that lip balm with some of those gadgets or bag holder inventions or whatever he said he has thousands of in storage.

I wonder if Sliver will be inundated with requests for samples to add funny reviews to this thread. I'd do it if someone else did it.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:40 PM   #12
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That's not ".com" on the end.... it's a hint of the contents
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:44 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackArcher101 View Post
That's not ".com" on the end.... it's a hint of the contents
I'm more interested in other elements of the label. Spirals?
Or Shells?

Snails??
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:48 PM   #14
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Ahem:

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Old 08-09-2023, 03:50 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blankall View Post
Something about this makes me uncomfortable.

Did he hand draw that label with the fake doily pattern and the swirls?

Although I do think there is a market for a low cost and effective lip balm. Should we put our collective power together to get Sliver a spot on Dragon's Den?
Watchu talkin' 'bout, Willis? This is a boutique, artisan product with a price commensurate with its quality.

Thanks for the review, Malcolm! Glad you received things in good order. I was a little worried how it would behave with the heat we've had, which is why I put it in a zip-loc.

It does kind of look like it was squeezed in there with a toothpaste tube, it's true. It's actually a giant syringe I use. I boil the syringe to sanitize it, then put the lip-whip in the syringe and inject it into the containers. It's a very professional operation I run.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:50 PM   #16
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:51 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sliver View Post
Watchu talkin' 'bout, Willis? This is a boutique, artisan product with a price commensurate with its quality.

Thanks for the review, Malcolm! Glad you received things in good order. I was a little worried how it would behave with the heat we've had, which is why I put it in a zip-loc.

It does kind of look like it was squeezed in there with a toothpaste tube, it's true. It's actually a giant syringe I use. I boil the syringe to sanitize it, then put the lip-whip in the syringe and inject it into the containers. It's a very professional operation I run.
The artisanal filling of the lip whip containers includes a process very similar to that of Botox.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monahammer View Post
I'm more interested in other elements of the label. Spirals?
Or Shells?

Snails??
I was wondering their relationships to the lips on the label.

Last edited by DoubleF; 08-09-2023 at 04:03 PM.
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:53 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sliver View Post
Watchu talkin' 'bout, Willis? This is a boutique, artisan product with a price commensurate with its quality.

Thanks for the review, Malcolm! Glad you received things in good order. I was a little worried how it would behave with the heat we've had, which is why I put it in a zip-loc.

It does kind of look like it was squeezed in there with a toothpaste tube, it's true. It's actually a giant syringe I use. I boil the syringe to sanitize it, then put the lip-whip in the syringe and inject it into the containers. It's a very professional operation I run.
......So you do want to go on Dragon's Den?
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:55 PM   #19
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We need a pic of your lips, fully lubricated, for a fullsome... review...

*creepiness intensifies*
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Old 08-09-2023, 03:57 PM   #20
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I was hopeful when I saw the original exchange that we would get to this point. I think its presumptuous to think a child drew that label, my money would be on the lipwhip inventor.
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