Kids With No Food at School

[Ruttiger]

So our 6 year old has a classmate that, it seems pretty obviously, comes from a lousy/underprivileged home. Early in the winter he would consistently come to school with no mitts, toque, decent winter coat, etc. My wife, being the softy she is, went out and bought some items for him when it was obvious he didn't own these things (wasn't just a one off). She gave them to the teacher, who checked with the mother, who swore he already had these items/would be getting them soon. Eventually the stuff my wife bought found their way to the kid but he hasn't been wearing them for awhile now again. Maybe he just loses them and the Mom was teaching him a lesson - I dunno.

Then today my wife was volunteering at the school's pizza lunch and saw this same kid just sitting, not eating, staring blankly off into the distance. She mentioned this to the teacher and when they looked at his backpack and pulled out his lunch bag, it was full of moldy, rotten food. It's Wednesday - that didn't just happen overnight. How long has he not had a lunch?

My wife called me in tears feeling awful about what this poor kid has to deal with and wondering how we can help. She wants to go buy some items and donate them for the teacher to give to this kid when it's apparent he doesn't have any food. Teacher says she's not allowed to give the student food but admittedly I don't know how that works.

So what is a concerned bystander to do in this situation? And what programs are in place to help?

[iggy_oi]

https://www.alberta.ca/ministry-childrens-services.aspx

[blankall]

https://bb4ck.org/

I'm not sure how much cooperation is required from the parents to have a kid enrolled in this program though.

[Nyah]

My friend is a second grade teacher and she's all over this kind of stuff too. Typically if a kid is constantly coming to school without food or adequate clothing, the school would reach out to the family and offer either help or access to resources that could help. While there's not really a lot your wife can personally do, she sounds like a really great person.

[aaronck]

I've learned about and do my main donations to https://bb4ck.org/
The funds go directly to school lunches for kids- It's tough and ####ty out there right now, I feel bad for the kids.

[Wormius]

So, as far as the food part goes - I know from accidentally forgetting to pack a lunch, because the wife and I thought the other had made put it in the backpack already, that there is some emergency cache of food at the schools that they can give to kids in a situation where they don't have anything. It might depend on the school, but these are public school they attend. Lunch room supervisors should ideally be on this and have noticed whether this is a trend or just a one-off thing.



For breakfast or dinner that's tricky.



Question though - from my knowledge, on these "fun lunch" days, children that don't have their own lunch or can't pay, are still allowed to participate and have pizza or whatever the food is for that day. Why was the child not eating anything?



The rotting lunch is sad though. I don't think a parent would knowingly pack something like that, but to not routinely check that the bags seems careless.

[GreenLantern]

And contact social services as already recommended, it's one thing to keep putting food in the kids hands, but its another to get the professionals involved in what may be going on at home (ie. abuse, neglect, addiction issues etc..) with the kids guardians.

[SeeGeeWhy]

Third endorsement for Brown Baggin' 4 Calgary's Kids.

I believe their process is to engage the school first to be able to go in, and then children can be nominated for support anonymously by teachers or peers.

In the meantime, maybe send a little extra food with your little one and have them invite the other child to "eat with me"?

[CaptainCrunch]

Its tough, but in my mind, and maybe I'm wrong about it, but just buying the kid food and clothing isn't really helping out in the long term and not addressing the issue.


I get that the parents pride might be hurt if you report this, but it isn't about their pride and there's help to be had.

[Flashpoint]

The lack of lunch and clothing is likely symptomatic of a larger problem. Drug addiction, neglect, abuse.

Giving him warm clothing and food is treating the symptom. You have to treat the disease. Regrettably, social services should be notified, as it's probably the only way to actually prevent a child from freezing and starving for months to come.

Good on your family for both noticing, and trying to help.

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by Wormius

that there is some emergency cache of food at the schools that they can give to kids in a situation where they don't have anything.

It's worth donating some food for your school too. Every year we drop off those canned chicken/tuna/hummus packs that come with crackers for our kids school. In the past the school only had stuff like cheerios on hand, so being able to give a kid a more substantial meal substitute is nice.


Oh and donate to BB4CK, definitely a worthy cause for your money.

[OldDutch]

Thanks to OP for posting this. I am not exposed to this type of occurrence very often but I am aware it happens more than I'd like to accept, and frankly its totally unacceptable to me.

Thanks to you and your wife I just signed up for monthly donation to bb4ck. So your post helped get my butt in gear to do something to help.

[tvp2003]

Damn. As a parent of rotten kids who often don't eat what my wife packs for them, this is slightly gut-wrenching to say the least. The moldy lunch suggests to me this might be a neglect issue versus just a poverty issue (and thus I'm hoping the school is ready and willing to intervene/assist).

Thanks for the link to BB4CK, and kudos to the OP and his wife for trying to help... hope things turn out okay for the little guy.

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

It's worth donating some food for your school too. Every year we drop off those canned chicken/tuna/hummus packs that come with crackers for our kids school. In the past the school only had stuff like cheerios on hand, so being able to give a kid a more substantial meal substitute is nice.


Oh and donate to BB4CK, definitely a worthy cause for your money.

We actually felt really embarrassed and bad about it, so we tried to replenish their stock, but hadn't thought that they originally received those that parent donations.

[Ruttiger]

Originally Posted by Wormius

So, as far as the food part goes - I know from accidentally forgetting to pack a lunch, because the wife and I thought the other had made put it in the backpack already, that there is some emergency cache of food at the schools that they can give to kids in a situation where they don't have anything. It might depend on the school, but these are public school they attend. Lunch room supervisors should ideally be on this and have noticed whether this is a trend or just a one-off thing.

Question though - from my knowledge, on these "fun lunch" days, children that don't have their own lunch or can't pay, are still allowed to participate and have pizza or whatever the food is for that day. Why was the child not eating anything?

The rotting lunch is sad though. I don't think a parent would knowingly pack something like that, but to not routinely check that the bags seems careless.

Yeah we had a similar situation pop up not long ago too where our kid didn't get a lunch sent with her so she was able to access the cache they have on hand. But she spoke right up - this kid doesn't say anything so I'm guessing there's a shame or embarrassment factor involved.

Don't know why he wasn't eating anything. You pay $5 or something in advance to participate so I'm guessing his parent(s) couldn't afford that so his name wasn't on the list. I'm not exactly sure - I'll ask more when I get home tonight.

[Ruttiger]

Originally Posted by SeeGeeWhy

In the meantime, maybe send a little extra food with your little one and have them invite the other child to "eat with me"?

I suggested that on the phone today too. He's a really nice kid from what I've seen when I volunteer at the school, so your heart goes out to him.

I think we'll donate to their cache as well and look into BB4CK.

[Ruttiger]

Originally Posted by tvp2003

Damn. As a parent of rotten kids who often don't eat what my wife packs for them, this is slightly gut-wrenching to say the least.

Our daughter is the same way. But this drives home the point that at least she has the option to eat. Some kids don't even have that......

[Wormius]

Yeah, the fun lunches should be pretty inclusive, at least I would hope so. Even if the parents didn't pay he/she would still have pizza and everything.


It's too bad that it isn't until the later years where kids finally get access to a cafeteria where they can use meal cards to buy food if they're hungry. The meal cards also remove some of the stigma and embarrassment if maybe the meal cards are topped up by donations.

[Buff]

I don't know how the situation was dealt with but at my kids school a family of kids were stealing other kids lunches from their backpacks. They were an immigrant family and struggling to make ends meet. One day my son didn't have his lunch because his best friend's lunch was missing so he shared with his friend.

For special fun lunches like Pizza day or hot dog day we are given the option to make an extra donation for kids who can't afford to buy those fun lunches. I don't know of anything in place for regular days though.

[PsYcNeT]

What a fantastic charity. Absolutely heart breaking story but at minimum, this thread has opened a few eyes to some good charitable work being done in this city.