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Old 10-06-2005, 02:22 PM   #1
KevanGuy
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HOLZINGER FLYS OFF HANDLE, SUNDIN GONE 4-6 WEEKS


BOSTON (AP) - Recent rumours of jealousy in the Bruins dressing room have proved to be true. Last night the defending Cup champions were attending the Owners' annual We Are The Best Dinner when an ugly incident took place that could hurt the Bruins chances at repeating.

For weeks insiders have been describing the situation as 'potentially explosive' and 'tense, very tense'. It is believed the discontent started when Bruins Uber GM KevanGuy traded away team and fan favourite Bobby Holik for centre Jeff Halpern. Numerous players came to the GM and expressed their disappointment that the teams’ only licensed manicurist would no longer be a Bruin.

The Boston Globe learned that some letters had been sent to noobie Jeff Halpern suggesting he may want to think twice about attending training camp. Halpern expressed his concerns with the Globe only 6 days ago, "You know, I’m just here to play a game and feed my family. I don’t know what Bob (Holik) was doing for the guys but they all love him. I can understand them being upset but I don’t think I should be the target. They should focus their concern elsewhere. Especially our 4th line centre."

Of course, Halpern was referring to the one and only THE Brian Holzinger. Holzinger had been closer to Holik then anyone else on the team and he did take the trade hard. Holik had accepted his role as a mentor to Holzinger and had a plan to help the 4th liner pick his game up. However, things would start to go downhill for Holzinger fast.

KevanGuy bowed to the team pressure after just a few short days. Halpern was traded with Karlis Skrastins to New Jersey for Greg DeVries and another centre, Sean Avery. The B's GM figured it would be good for Holzinger to fight with Avery for a position on the Bruins starting 12. He could not have been more wrong.

Just 2 hours after the trade THE Brian Holzinger called into local radio WEEI 850 AM. He was absolutely furious that his locked up spot on the 4th line was going to be up for grabs. He could not understand why the Bruins GM would trade to get him back after losing him in the expansion draft if he expected him to sit or get sent to Providence. His 20 minute long tirade was played over and over again in local and national media.

For the second time in just a few days KevanGuy found himself in the position of being forced to make a trade. Late one evening an offer was sent to the expansion Winnipeg Jets that they just could not refuse. Bruins sent Jaroslav Svoboda, David Bolland and the CMB 1st to Winterpeg for Steve Rucchin, a player long rumoured to be on the outs with Jets nerdy GM Flickered Flame. GM Guy planned to move Avery to LW and Rucchin to centre, thus taking care of the Holzinger issue. And from a few reports over the last couple days it did take care of the issue. However, bitter feelings remained.

Those feelings would boil over last night at the Owners' Dinner. Perennial CPHL super star Mats Sundin took the podium at the end of the night to thank the Owners and the fans for their continued support of the team. He was greeted with cordial applause from all the guests but one. THE Brian Holzinger. Holzinger, we have since learned, believed Sundin had been the one behind the Holik trade. He believed Sundin was threatened by Holik and that his position as number one centre on the Bruins could be in jeopardy. Holzinger's catcalls rang through the hall amidst gasps of shock and awe. His verbal tirade was audible from the men’s washroom down the hall and to the left.

An anonymous Bruins player relayed the rest of the story to the Globe. Sundin gracefully apologized to the guests, stepped down from the podium and made his way to THE Brian Holzinger’s table. He calmly sat down beside Brian and asked him to keep his comments to himself and that his was neither the time nor the place. As Sundin turned to leave the table, Holzinger swung around in a fit of rage and hit him just above the left eye with a lobster tail. From what we were told Sundin was helped up off the ground and taken immediately to the hospital for observation. THE Brian Holzinger was sent in a cab back to the hotel he lives in.

Early reports from the Bean town Doctors say that Sundin could be out 4-6 weeks with a fractured orbital bone. He is currently listed as 'out indefinitely'.

How will this disruption hurt the Bruins? Will they be able to recover from another mediocre start to the year? Can Cup Champion KevanGuy maintain his spot as the CPHL's most awesome GM? Stay tuned to the 05/06 season and find out!
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Old 10-06-2005, 02:32 PM   #2
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A great read!

Glad to hear the men's washroom is still in the same place!!!

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Old 10-06-2005, 02:41 PM   #3
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haha...Good article...gotta watch out for those lobster tails!!
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Old 10-06-2005, 03:21 PM   #4
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That is one mean Lobster tail.. Wow.

I sure hope HOLZINGER was supspended indefintly for this action.

Sure hope he does not get that Random email about Demitra and Jagr reagarding their role in Holik depature
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Old 10-06-2005, 03:34 PM   #5
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Quote:
Can Cup Champion KevanGuy maintain his spot as the CPHL's most awesome GM?


:P
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Old 10-07-2005, 02:27 PM   #6
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sniper images
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Old 10-07-2005, 09:59 PM   #7
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I heard KevanGuy and Keith Tkachuck were spotted at a Wendy's drive through after the Lobster incident. They were seen leaving with 30 Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers and apparently weren't going to be throwing them at Holzinger as was believed at the time of purchase....
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