2014 Psychic Predictions

[troutman]

Jan 2 - Lowe terminated and replaced by Wayne Gretzky

[nik-]

I predict I will eat the rest of these chicken bites. Likely with hot sauce.

[VictoryJuice]

Jan 1st. Hungover. wings win winter classic 4-2

[JeanLucPicard]

Before anyone makes any more predictions, let me just.....

In the year two thousannnd..... in the year two THOUSAAAND

[Jbo]

1) Oilers trade one of Eberle or Yak. Kevin Lowe survives another year;

2) Boston makes it to the cup final;

3) Vancouver is eliminated in the 1st round again;

4) Burke trades cammy for a 1st, and trades it before the draft deadline.

[BurningSteel]

Iginla signs with his 4th nhl team Johnny Hockey with his 1st.

[drewtastic]

Fearless Predictions:

(1) In February, Team Russia wins an emotional gold medal in front of its home fans. While celebrating, President Vladimir Putin walks onto the ice to present gold medals. However, just as he is about to address the crowd, he pulls off his suit to reveal a full-body pink onesie leotard. The crowd is shocked. Brian Boitano runs to his side--the two embrace. "I fooled you all, darlings!" Putin shouts, thereby completing the biggest swerve in IOC hockey history. Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un run out as confetti falls from the rafters. All of Alex Ovechkin's teeth fall out.

(2) After Game 82 in VCR (a 4-0 Flames loss), there is a sudden change in the arena's jovial mood as the unmistakable opening riff of 'Bad to the Bone' hits the loudspeakers. A shadowy figure with unkempt waist-length silver hair, wearing a Flames jersey, forces his way (WWE Shield-style) through the crowd, climbs over the glass and walks to centre ice. It's Brian Burke!

Grabbing a microphone from somewhere, he holds his hands up to end the relentless boos and 'You Sold Out/You Screwed Bret' chants (which really make little sense, but, you know--Canucks' fans). Finally able to speak, Burke reveals the worst kept secret in the NHL since Christmas:

"I've come here, to my old stomping grounds, to state publicly, that our 4-month search for a general manager has proved fruitless, and that I, Brian Burke, will assume full GM Duties as of this moment!" (This is met with boos and cheers, and nobody knows which are coming from Flames fans and which are coming from Canucks fans).

"But" continues Burke "I won't be taking over as General Manager of the Calgary Flames..." at this point, Burke rips of the Flames jersey to reveal a Canucks jersey underneath. "...I'm BACK, BABY!" he shrieks maniacally. "I've traded myself for Mike Gillis!!" Quick cut to Gillis looking shocked. Shot of Ken King looking pissed off and emotionally betrayed, simultaneously. Shot of the Sedins fainting. (Unrelated). Burke remains laughing at Centre Ice while garbage rains down around him, thereby completing the biggest swerve in NHL/WWE/WCW history. (It is later revealed that Stan Smyl has also been included in the deal, for the sake of irony).

(3) Mike Gillis refuses to report to Flames Training Camp in August, 2014. Ken King panics and makes a knee-jerk reaction, hiring deposed Edmonton Eskimos Coach Kavis Reed. Every media personality is stunned, save for Glen Healy who calls it: "a shrewd move". For his part, Reed's first media availability features an impromptu interruption by Kings coach Darryl Sutter, which angers Reed. The resulting verbal exchange features over 100 dramatic pauses, mouth wipes and assorted angry grunts.

[Red John]

-Burke waits until summer to hire a GM and it's not Dave Poulin

-Flames finish behind the Oilers after trading Cammalleri for a 1st and the Oilers go on a tear late in the season giving Oilers fans hope heading into off-season

-Nail Yakupov takes his ball and goes home to Russia

-Bob Hartley is fired by the new GM who brings in his own guy

-The Vancouver canucks sneak into a wild-card spot and knock off the Blackhawks in seven surprising games but advance no further

-Boston and Pittsburgh engage in another playoff series and though its closer the Bruins win again, on route to winning the Cup over Darryl Sutter and the Kings

-The Denver Broncos defeat the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl

-The Kelowna Rockets win the Memorial Cup

-Germany wins the World Cup of soccer 2014. Miro Klose gets the all-time goals record

-Team Canada fails to medal at Sochi, finishing 4th. The women win silver

[lifetimefan]

• Burke hires Futa in the off season
• Hartley is fired by the new GM
• Yakupov to the KHL
• Noel gets fired at the Olympic break, replaced by Hawerchuk
• Eberle gets traded to an eastern team
• Boston defeats Chicago in 6 games to win the Stanley Cup
• NYI win the draft lottery
• Sportsnet fires Kerr and brings back Peter Loubardias

[lifetime_flamesfan]

Burke trades Cammy for a first and a prospect, stajan for a third round pick, and stemniak for a third rounder.
Burke then combines Calgary first rounder with the other first rounder from the Cammy trade in trade that signifies the end of the rebuild and sets Calgary back another 5 years.

[Trailer Fire]

• Stempniak is traded to Nashville for a 2014 2nd round pick.
• Cammalleri ($2 million retained)and a 2014 3rd are traded to Phoenix for Klesla 2014 1st and Connor Murphy.
• Mikael Backlund is traded to Toronto for David Clarkson and Connor Brown.
• Chicago Blackhawks repeat Stanley Cup victory.
• Mike Futa named GM once the playoffs are done.

I'm usually (always) pretty bad at trade proposals. Go ahead and tear into me. I deserve it.

[Roof-Daddy]

Flames deal Cammalleri (salary retained) and Backlund to Toronto for Liles, Gardiner and 2013 1st.

Toronto falters down the stretch and miss the playoffs, passed by a red hot Sens team.

The Leafs pick wins the lottery and as a result we pick 1st and 5th overall and take Ekblad and Draisaitl. (Oilers pick 4th and take Nylander, another small soft skilled forward)

[dissentowner]

Mike Cammalleri, Sven Baertchi, and Chis Butler are traded to the Flyers in exchange for Brayden Schenn, Luke Schenn, Andrej Mezaros and the Flyers 1st in 2014.

Matt Stajan to Chicago for 2nd in 2014.

Lee Stempniak to St. Louis for a 2nd 2014

Flames draft 2nd overall and select Ekblad.

Burke hires Jim Benning as GM.

[Francis's Hairpiece]

Originally Posted by dissentowner

Mike Cammalleri, Sven Baertchi, and Chis Butler are traded to the Flyers in exchange for Brayden Schenn, Luke Schenn, Andrej Mezaros and the Flyers 1st in 2014.

Matt Stajan to Chicago for 2nd in 2014.

Lee Stempniak to St. Louis for a 2nd 2014

Flames draft 2nd overall and select Ekblad.

Burke hires Jim Benning as GM.

Wow. I don't know how I'd feel about that first trade. Pros and cons galore. But actually fairly balanced.

[Gaskal]

Originally Posted by Francis's Hairpiece

Wow. I don't know how I'd feel about that first trade. Pros and cons galore. But actually fairly balanced.

I personally think that we milked Philadelphia more in that case.

Imagine if we got the Schenn bros, drafted Sam Reinhart and traded for Griffin somehow. Good times.

B.Schenn - S.Reinhart - M.Reinhart

G.Reinhart - L.Schenn

Line like that deserves a pop culture name. Too many centers though but easier to convert a center to wing than the other way around.

[djsFlames]

-Cammy is traded
-Stempniak is traded
-Stajan is extended to everyone's shock and disbelief
-Hudler finishes with 70+ points to lead the team, career high
-Ferland gets a look after trades and is dynamite.
-Ferland fights in his first game
-Monahan hits 20 goals on the season
-He falls short to MacKinnon in Calder race
-Baertschi is traded for a young kid who wasn't previously well known/followed ('black and blue' type winger) and a 1st, CP riots.
-In wake of Sven trade, Johnny Hockey is at last signed
-Burke throws large cash at a 30+ big fish in free agency (top 6 player)
-Breen is put on waivers at some point
-Russell gets inked
-Poirier gets inked to ELC
-Galliardi is let go
-Flames draft Michael Dal Colle 4th overall, and Haydn Fleury with a 10-20 pick
-Byron goes on to earn a full time position on the big club
-Burke signs or trades for big hulking d-man
-I eat over 300 buffalo chicken wings in 2014

[dammage79]

Mike Futa is hired one week after the draft.

No player gets traded for a 2013 draft pick of any sort.

Cammy is traded to L.A at the Deadline. (they cycle is complete)

Stempniak get traded to Buffalo in a package that nets Drew Stafford and Tyler Myers.

Stajan in traded to Boston to shore up their center position after Bergeron goes down for two months from a broken leg.

Granlund gets his first call up and finishes the season with Calgary. Goes on to a strong 15 point finish to the season.

Berra gets re-signed in the hope the tandem of Ramo/Berra gets much improved the following season.

The Flames win the draft Lottery, Selects Aaron Ekblad. The Reinhart fans are saddened.

The Oilers, destined to pick second in the draft, lose out and pick third, select Nylander and the entire city burns down in uncontrollable riots.

[nik-]

Originally Posted by dammage79

No player gets traded for a 2013 draft pick of any sort.

I'd hope not!

[djsFlames]

Definitely agree, no 2013 picks will be acquired by Burke.

2014 picks, however, are another story.

[Enoch Root]

The Heat win the Calder Cup

Gaudreau and Arnold sign after the NCAA season and bolster the Heat lineup.

Burke trades Cammy and a prospect for a big RW