Toronto, ON. A currently unnamed person was able to retrieve perrsonal journals of the general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs. He felt it was his civic duty to give those sensitive documents to the local media, which featured the following excerpts in today's newspapers ... the GM was not immediately available for comments.
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"MY SUMMER"
THE SECRET DIARIES OF A MAPLE LEAFS GM
April 25
Owners tell me I can't hold press conferences with my tie around my neck. Tell me that looks unprofessional. Laughing at them probably wasn't the best answer.
June 4
Didn't win the "Darryl Sutter Award" for best rookie GM. Who cares ... stupid award anyway! Mom called to tell me that I'm still her number one. Feeling better.
June 12
Taking a few days off before the draft ... now the media calls me unprofessional. FML.
June 18
Back from vacation, reading mock drafts by local media ... those suckers will be in for some surprises.
June 22
Draft Day! Pretty satisfied with how the draft went, our scouts are happy. Media asks why I went with McCoshen, Dano and others when there were guys like Dickinson, Nastasiuk, Bigras and Bailey still available. Don't I care about those Ontarians? I told them that's not how we build a hockey club. Got laughed at in response.
July 7
Had a "friendly" chat with a Star reporter today. Don't they understand I have a blueprint?
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July 19
Owners tell me I shouldn't use expletives while talking to the media. What the #### are they talking about?
August 11
Re-signed all RFAs except for Harry Zolnierczyk. Tried to file his paperwork too but didn't spell him right. Will tell the media that he didn't fit the blueprint or something.
August 17
Saw the Capitals signed a new GM from Sweden. Another European, finally! New drinking buddy maybe?
August 19
Re-signed Brad Richards today. Good center and also a top golfer in case we miss the playoffs again!
August 21
Traded Riley Barber and Trevor van Riemsdyk for Lee Stempniak. Top six winger, check! Tried to hide the fact that we also paid a 2nd, but the media found out. ####ers!
August 22
Claimed Davis Drewiske today. Superstar!
August 25
Traded Neuvirth today, got Josh Jooris and Rich Clune back. Solid! Ignored Star reporter's remark that Clune is only a 4th liner and Jooris is a long-term project. Answered TSN question "Who'll play in net this year?" with "That's none of your ####ing business!" Owners probably not happy.
August 26
Today, I put in a waiver claim on defenseman John Erskine. He'll fit in perfectly on our blueline, he'll provide leadership and defensive stability. I'm quite sure he'll be the final piece of the puzzle!
August 27
Hearing that our claim on Erskine was not successful. Pff ... didn't want him anyway, he's clearly past his prime!
August 30
UFA frenzy started today. Didn't get Liles, didn't get Kelly, didn't get Boyes. Only got Clemmensen ... ####ty day. Going to start a feud with a Sun reporter to lighten my mood.
August 31
Acquired Kevin Porter for a draft pick today. Center depth, bitches!
September 3
Panicked and recalled Porter by mistake, now can't re-assign him without waiving him first. Sigh.
September 5
Didn't get Ott or Campbell ... other teams overpaid, haha suckers ... sniff.
September 8
Signed Craig Adams and Jordin Tootoo today. Delivered some season tickets later and was asked by a 70-year-old STH why I kept bringing in old farts. Weird day.
September 12
Finally some defensive help via UFA: signed Mark Fraser and Matt Lashoff today! The guy from 590 The Fan asked me if I knew that Fraser was not mobile enough and if I confused Lashoff with his brother. Dropped a few F-bombs on live radio. Owners not happy.
"My Summer" - the secret diaries of a Maple Leafs GM
