Twins (or even just one kid) - Not Happy/Ruining your Family

[chemgear]

Quite the spirited discussion on these sites - and some brutal honesty. I wonder how many parents are that honest about the changes in their lives with even just one kid. Social stigma aside, I wonder how many parents can even admit to themselves that they regret having a kid.


http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/04/health...html?hpt=hp_c2

http://www.babble.com/dad/expecting-...ith-pregnancy/

http://www.babble.com/pregnancy/expe...ned-my-family/


"To say we're excited would be an exaggeration," the dad wrote on Babble.com in an anonymous post that recently started trending on social media. "More truthfully, we're pissed. And terrified, and angry, and guilty, and regretful."

You see, both embryos that were implanted stuck. The wife is pregnant with twins.

"I lay on the table -- dazed and unhappy -- as I received the news that there were two healthy sacs present," the anonymous mom wrote in a separate post. "We were pregnant with twins -- twin boys, we'd find out later. In my mind I had done nothing less than ruin our family."

[pylon]

We live in a increasingly narcissistic and selfish world now. This does not surprise me.

[Minnie]

When I was pregnant with our last, I was measuring big for dates. So of course my doc wanted to do an ultrasound, to see if there were multiples. I was pretty convinced it was a singleton, but I wanted to know as well. Were we concerned? Well yeah. We had 2 boys already - while we wanted 4 kids, the idea of having two at once was worrisome, and naturally so, I think. 2 babies at once is a big adjustment. Babies are work, there's no doubt about that. We kind of held our breath while waiting for the ultrasound. But pissed about the idea of it? No, just what I would consider the same sort of worries, concerns, etc we had when I was pregnant with the boys, just slightly more elevated. As it turns out, it was as I thought - a singleton.

A friend of ours was helping with the US that day and she had some fun. The US tech started the US and we couldn't see the screen at first - so she let out this gasp and said "OMG, it's triplets!" My husband went a little white, hahaha.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by pylon

We live in a increasingly narcissistic and selfish world now. This does not surprise me.

Come on, not this shtick again.

[pseudoreality]

Not something I wanted to read. My wife and I are expecting our first. Part of us kind of wanted twins in a two for one deal, but fortunately it's just one. Now I'm in the fear wholly crap what did I do phase.

[Table 5]

I'm glad we had a single for our first. There's something intriguing about doing it all in one shot (our max would be two), but twins kind of creep me out.

While this couple should feel fortunate to have had success, I don't really think there's anything that selfish about admitting you only want/can handle a certain amount of kids. Kids are an effin big deal.

[sun]

Tangent: I read just today actually that mothers rank caring for a child just above housekeeping in terms of what brings more happiness. Naps were among the list of things that bring more happiness.

The only known symptom of empty nest syndrome is more smiling.

Raising a child is toiling thanklessly for 20 years before they are only begrudgingly thankful for what you've done for them.

Pretty funny stuff. Just off the top of my head, so obviously don't take it as gospel.

[keratosis]

Originally Posted by sun

Raising a child is toiling thanklessly for 20 years

20 years...
LOL!



Sent from my tablet, while drinking swill.

[MrMastodonFarm]

Originally Posted by Table 5

I'm glad we had a single for our first. There's something intriguing about doing it all in one shot (our max would be two), but twins kind of creep me out.

While this couple should feel fortunate to have had success, I don't really think there's anything that selfish about admitting you only want/can handle a certain amount of kids. Kids are an effin big deal.

Fraternal ones are cool though, right?

[The Goon]

Man, if we had twins, I would have run off and changed my name and identity.

[TorqueDog]

Originally Posted by pylon

We live in a increasingly narcissistic and selfish world now. This does not surprise me.

What the hell, really? Not even having kids myself, I still understand how much money and effort and sweat and tears the little #######s take to raise and raise properly. And that's just for one. Expecting to have a second and instead having a second AND third at the same time is a huge burden, and if it's not one you were hoping for/expecting, it can be incredibly strenuous.

Narcissistic and selfish, give me a break.

[Red Slinger]

I have 3 kids: identical twin 18 year old boys and a 15 year old girl.

The boys were/are very low maintenance. They are easy going, quiet and have never really gotten into too much trouble. Plus, they have a built in best friend, a guy who's "got your back", someone to talk to and someone to hang out with. They are awesome young men and I couldn't be happier that they have been such a large part of my life for the last almost 19 years(including invitro time). When we found out that "we" were pregnant of course we freaked a little. I was 22 years old, we weren't married, didn't have a decent job and had very little prospects. When we later discovered we were having twins I went into an odd state of denial where I told myself everything was going to be okay and I had nothing to worry about. I should have felt "overwhelmed, exhausted and afraid" like the people quoted were. The funny thing is that everything was okay and I had nothing to worry about.

I'll echo the statement above that there are a lot of people who are too selfish to have kids. Whether you have one kid or two or three, etc. it requires a sacrifice on the part of the parents. Anyone who has a child feels "overwhelmed, exhausted and afraid". It's part of the deal. But I've found that the positives are tenfold. All of this so called honesty on behalf of these internet parents sounds more like simple whining to me. They couldn't have kids the old-fashioned way, asked science to intervene, knew there was a chance that it could result in multiples and then complain about it on the internet? Honestly, my life would feel completely empty and worthless if it wasn't for my family. I'm not suggesting that's how everyone without kids should feel, that's just me. The comments in the articles about twins ruining their parents lives does smack of narcissism and selfishness in my opinion.

Now on the other hand, I have a 15 year old daughter who is a helion and has ruined my life. Goddamn single babies!

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by Table 5

but twins kind of creep me out.

"Come play with us Danny."

[V]

The idea of twins scares the hell out of me. A friend of mine had twins and his life was effectively over. His wife had pretty bad post-partum depression too, so it was a freaking disaster for a while there. I don't wish that on my worst enemy.

That said, I'm very happy I have the kids I have. My life is much better with them than without.

[polak]

Bah, honestly I do want kids eventually but having a little sister that's 13 years younger than me has shown me first hand what kind of annoying little s**ts they can be once they stop being cute and start acting more like little people who are just stupid and selfish. The time between them being around 7 until they're 14-15 seems like an absolute nightmare.

I'll need to develop a lot of patience before I could have a little demon spawn.

[JimmytheT]

I have a 3 year old boy and 10 month old triplets. Without reading any of these I know these people are whiny bitches. I have worked harder than I ever thought I would over the past 18 months (I am including my wife's triplet pregnancy here) and I can tellvyou it is worth every minute. There are times where you are exhausted and at your wits end, but at the end of it all they still bring us so much joy.

To be blunt, people who complain about a single child are pathetic losers (assuming we are dealing with a healthy normal child of course). I never understand people who resent their own children. Cat's in the Cradle I guess.

I can more than understand the stress regarding twins however, if there are two parents in the household at least there is a two parent to baby ratio. Try three infants with only 4 total arms if you want a real challenge (plus a toddler acting as the constant wild card).

[Sylvanfan]

Right now with a three year old I wish I had a 2nd one so they could amuse each other. My brother and I are less than a year apart, my Mom commented recently after watching his 3 year old son that two of us at that age was easier than one. Triplets, though, that would be stressful to add to a toddler. Props to you Jimmy.

[bigtmac19]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

"Come play with us Danny."

That's just mean.

[Baxter Renegade]

Originally Posted by pseudoreality

Not something I wanted to read. My wife and I are expecting our first. Part of us kind of wanted twins in a two for one deal, but fortunately it's just one. Now I'm in the fear wholly crap what did I do phase.

I couldnt even imagine 2 babies at once... Man, one will suck your very life force and sweet, sweet slumber from your core...

2? One wakes up, wakes the other... The other wakes up, wakes the other. Feed both, burp both, one gets gassy and wakes the other.... Holy crap. Babies are not cool. Kids are alright, but babies test your humanity like no other...

[Bownesian]

We have 4 year old boy/girl twins. Once they hit 2.5 or so, it's a breeze and certainly easier than a baby and a toddler/preschooler. The biggest bummer now is we can't hand anything down between them so it's 2 bikes, 2 sets of kid skates, 2 sets of soccer shoes in the same size, but that's by far outweighed by them having a pal around all the time.

The first year to year and a half was pretty crazy, but we don't remember much because you need sleep to form long term memories.