Musty-ass couch

[flylock shox]

My girlfriend bought a couch from some antique store up the street this weekend.

It's an okay looking couch, but it smells all musty and kind of dank.

It came from an estate sale, so I reckon that the smell probably comes from its previous owner having died on it. Or maybe the previous owner died as a result of the smell. Either way, the couch is now sitting in my living room either passively waiting for me to expire on it, or actively trying to kill me.

Does anyone know any tricks for destankifying furniture?

Is Febreze going to do the job here, or do I need something stronger, like a wind tunnel or an exorcist?

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I may not have long...

[RedMileDJ]

So you want to know how to remove the smell of death? I have no idea. Should have sniffed before buying.

[TheSutterDynasty]

My condolences for your girlfriend's musty-ass crotch.

[NSFL]

Go rent a carpet cleaner and use the upholstery attachment and clean the crap out of that sucker.

[flylock shox]

Originally Posted by Red-Mile-DJ

So you want to know how to remove the smell of death? I have no idea. Should have sniffed before buying.

I know, I know.

But it was my girlfriend who bought it, and she only seems to be able to smell how cheap something is, not whether it might be harbouring the souls of the recently deceased.

I honestly think that, if I were to wrestle this thing outside and dump it on the curb, I'd come back up the apartment only to find it still sitting there - there's something unholy about that smell.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by flylock shox

My girlfriend bought a couch from some antique store up the street this weekend.

It's an okay looking couch, but it smells all musty and kind of dank.

It came from an estate sale, so I reckon that the smell probably comes from its previous owner having died on it. Or maybe the previous owner died as a result of the smell. Either way, the couch is now sitting in my living room either passively waiting for me to expire on it, or actively trying to kill me.

Old people died having sex on it.

[flylock shox]

Originally Posted by NSFL

Go rent a carpet cleaner and use the upholstery attachment and clean the crap out of that sucker.

Is that one of those wet-vac-type doohickeys?

Any idea where a fellow could rent one of those this late in the evening? I seem to recall Safeway might have done this years ago, but maybe I'm wrong.

[Minnie]

Sobey's has them.

[flylock shox]

Originally Posted by Minnie

Sobey's has them.

Looks like we don't have them in Vancouver

[Dion]

Try sprinkling baking soda all over the couch and let it sit for the night. Vacuum the next day and see if the smell is gone

[NSFL]

Originally Posted by flylock shox

Is that one of those wet-vac-type doohickeys?

Any idea where a fellow could rent one of those this late in the evening? I seem to recall Safeway might have done this years ago, but maybe I'm wrong.

We used to rent one from superstore before we bought our own. Haven't looked recently to see if they still had them.

[NSFL]

Originally Posted by Dion

Try sprinkling baking soda all over the couch and let it sit for the night. Vacuum the next day and see if the smell is gone

I find baking soda doesn't do anything for odours. Does it actually make a difference?

[Dion]

Originally Posted by NSFL

I find baking soda doesn't do anything for odours. Does it actually make a difference?

Someone I know has tried that method and swears it works.

[Jbo]

Put it in a truck and drive it far away...throw it off a tall cliff....when you return home and your girlfriend asks about it...act like nothing has happened.

[bluck]

did she consult you before buying the couch?

[Dion]

Originally Posted by J-bo09

Put it in a truck and take it to one of those drive through car washes and then leave it outside to dry off

Edited for better idea

[dammage79]

Originally Posted by flylock shox

Looks like we don't have them in Vancouver

Fairway market rents those

[topfiverecords]

16 posts and no Kill It With Fire!?

[flylock shox]

Originally Posted by bluck

did she consult you before buying the couch?

She'd already put a deposit down on it when she brought it up, and showed me a picture of it and assured me it wasn't bed-bug ridden or otherwise disgusting.

I should have gone to see it myself before agreeing. You know how some people have a thing for stray animals, and always end up feeding them out the back door or adopting them? Well, my girlfriend is like that only with furniture - she just wants to save the things, no matter how shabby or unappealing they are.

Probably why she ended up with me really.

[flylock shox]

Originally Posted by dammage79

Fairway market rents those

I can't seem to find one of those in Vancouver either. No wonder this city has such stinky furniture - it's impossible to stop it.