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Old 03-28-2022, 10:43 PM   #1
81MC
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I think it was Scoopy Noopers who made a remark awhile ago about the disappointment/GG of a new job not being the positive experience it was thought to be (paraphrasing here, sorry).

I’m curious, who here has left a career just for the change? Did it help your emotional state? Was there a pay scale change for good or bad, and did it impact you truly? If you changed fields entirely, was walking away from the career you built a mistake? If you stayed in the industry, was the next place really any more engaging or rewarding?

I’m no longer the employee I pride myself on being. I’m not a lazy employee, I don’t avoid work, I like a challenge and I earn my money. Except over the last few months I’ve checked out, hard. I tried and tried and thought I was doing a very good job but ultimately I’m on the same square as I was years ago and I can’t stand it. There’s a myriad of reasons I’ve disengaged, maybe career growth enticement that never will lead anywhere and core duties that I’m just so damn tired of. Sometimes, I literally am on the verge of tears because I can’t get motivated to keep putting effort into the things that I think are valuable while simultaneously unable to bear the the thought of doing the same thing I’ve been doing for 8 years. I’ve noticed I’ve actively started self sabotaging and I’m going to get fired or seriously ruin my reputation. I’m a damn good worker with a decent mind, but I just can’t ####ing do this job anymore. I hate how disinterested and withdrawn I am.

Except it pays well, not great but enough. I have a new daughter and a wife on mat leave, but we’re doing okay enough, and if I were to change industries it would be at a serious drop in either income or family time, for a few years probably.

I have a couple of job opportunities that pay less, don’t offer the flexibility, and are rather similar to what I do now. And I think I’m just done with the ‘what I do’ on the whole. I honestly am not appealed by either offer, other than as a way to get out of where I am now.

I don’t feel like an entitled millennial who doesn’t want to work, but maybe that’s all it is? Is this a midlife crisis a decade too early? Suck it up man, I have a kid at home?

Please, someone tell me this isn’t what every day for working life should feel like.
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Old 03-29-2022, 12:00 AM   #2
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Is there something in your job that lets you add some new challenges for yourself? In mine, things are constantly changing; new technologies that I can play with emerge and I can incorporate into the next product. I don’t know if that’s an option for you, or if you need to colour within the lines for each task you do. I could see how that would grow tiresome. I’d just see if there is some way to spice up the current job so it doesn’t seem so rote and mind numbing.
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Old 03-29-2022, 03:15 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by 81MC View Post
I think it was Scoopy Noopers who made a remark awhile ago about the disappointment/GG of a new job not being the positive experience it was thought to be (paraphrasing here, sorry).

I’m curious, who here has left a career just for the change? Did it help your emotional state? Was there a pay scale change for good or bad, and did it impact you truly? If you changed fields entirely, was walking away from the career you built a mistake? If you stayed in the industry, was the next place really any more engaging or rewarding?

I’m no longer the employee I pride myself on being. I’m not a lazy employee, I don’t avoid work, I like a challenge and I earn my money. Except over the last few months I’ve checked out, hard. I tried and tried and thought I was doing a very good job but ultimately I’m on the same square as I was years ago and I can’t stand it. There’s a myriad of reasons I’ve disengaged, maybe career growth enticement that never will lead anywhere and core duties that I’m just so damn tired of. Sometimes, I literally am on the verge of tears because I can’t get motivated to keep putting effort into the things that I think are valuable while simultaneously unable to bear the the thought of doing the same thing I’ve been doing for 8 years. I’ve noticed I’ve actively started self sabotaging and I’m going to get fired or seriously ruin my reputation. I’m a damn good worker with a decent mind, but I just can’t ####ing do this job anymore. I hate how disinterested and withdrawn I am.

Except it pays well, not great but enough. I have a new daughter and a wife on mat leave, but we’re doing okay enough, and if I were to change industries it would be at a serious drop in either income or family time, for a few years probably.

I have a couple of job opportunities that pay less, don’t offer the flexibility, and are rather similar to what I do now. And I think I’m just done with the ‘what I do’ on the whole. I honestly am not appealed by either offer, other than as a way to get out of where I am now.

I don’t feel like an entitled millennial who doesn’t want to work, but maybe that’s all it is? Is this a midlife crisis a decade too early? Suck it up man, I have a kid at home?

Please, someone tell me this isn’t what every day for working life should feel like.
As someone who is in the process of trying to find a new career path while also having a new baby and a wife with another eight months of maternity leave to go, if you have the ability to ride it out until your wife goes back to work, do it. Now isn’t necessarily the time to leave a sure thing for something that isn’t better and doesn’t pay more.

I don’t need to tell you how stressful this situation can be, money wise.
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Old 03-29-2022, 05:58 AM   #4
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What motivates you?

I have changed industries every 5-7 years or so. Often enough I think of a new role as a new “career cycle”. This allows me to embrace the fact it will end at some point, and to work hard at developing a useful and hopefully rare skill, expand the network and build positively on my reputation. Those three things follow you, and you do never know when and where they will shine for you in the future.

I wouldn’t say this is satisfying, but more of something I’ve come to accept.

The grass is green where you water it.
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Old 03-29-2022, 07:45 AM   #5
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I just completed a pretty significant job/industry move. It all started out rooted in the same feelings described by the OP: listlessness, self-sabotage, boredom. I took my time, played the lawn game, “watered the grass,” and worked with my network to find a better-paying and more senior position. Timing is important. Giving yourself the time is even more important.

The most interesting thing about the whole experience was exactly what SeeGeeWhy described.
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Old 03-29-2022, 07:56 AM   #6
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Are you depressed? At a minimum you are sleep deprived, stressed out and not thinking perfectly rationally due to just having a child.

I’ve never jumped industries but in switching jobs you always want some combination of more opportunity, more pay, more interesting or more flexible. The way you describe the two jobs in your industry are lower pay, less flexible same work. Despite them being a change in the people you likely end up in the same rut you are now.

If you can wait until your home life stabilizes a bit and then evaluate what you want to do with the next 5 years I would think you would be able to evaluate your options better
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Old 03-29-2022, 11:25 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by SeeGeeWhy View Post
The grass is green where you water it.
I may just have to put this in my office man.
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Old 03-29-2022, 11:53 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 81MC View Post
I think it was Scoopy Noopers who made a remark awhile ago about the disappointment/GG of a new job not being the positive experience it was thought to be (paraphrasing here, sorry).

I’m curious, who here has left a career just for the change? Did it help your emotional state? Was there a pay scale change for good or bad, and did it impact you truly? If you changed fields entirely, was walking away from the career you built a mistake? If you stayed in the industry, was the next place really any more engaging or rewarding?

I’m no longer the employee I pride myself on being. I’m not a lazy employee, I don’t avoid work, I like a challenge and I earn my money. Except over the last few months I’ve checked out, hard. I tried and tried and thought I was doing a very good job but ultimately I’m on the same square as I was years ago and I can’t stand it. There’s a myriad of reasons I’ve disengaged, maybe career growth enticement that never will lead anywhere and core duties that I’m just so damn tired of. Sometimes, I literally am on the verge of tears because I can’t get motivated to keep putting effort into the things that I think are valuable while simultaneously unable to bear the the thought of doing the same thing I’ve been doing for 8 years. I’ve noticed I’ve actively started self sabotaging and I’m going to get fired or seriously ruin my reputation. I’m a damn good worker with a decent mind, but I just can’t ####ing do this job anymore. I hate how disinterested and withdrawn I am.

Except it pays well, not great but enough. I have a new daughter and a wife on mat leave, but we’re doing okay enough, and if I were to change industries it would be at a serious drop in either income or family time, for a few years probably.

I have a couple of job opportunities that pay less, don’t offer the flexibility, and are rather similar to what I do now. And I think I’m just done with the ‘what I do’ on the whole. I honestly am not appealed by either offer, other than as a way to get out of where I am now.

I don’t feel like an entitled millennial who doesn’t want to work, but maybe that’s all it is? Is this a midlife crisis a decade too early? Suck it up man, I have a kid at home?

Please, someone tell me this isn’t what every day for working life should feel like.
This thread resonates with me. I have many who are in the same boat at you. I'll reply, but not as me. I can get quite a few of the answers you're looking for based on several individuals who have within the last 12-18 months changed industry/career approach and hated it. Several are also in the middle of changing their roles and one literally got a role out of their ####ty situation a few days ago, so I don't want to drop any details in case somehow there's enough detail to identify or cause a large contingent of managers to suddenly begin to get in the way of individuals who are looking (literally happened to one of them so far).


A few answers to your question:
Spoiler!


Other stuff and some of the direction that some of these individuals are going in:
Spoiler!


DoubleF's side rant:
Spoiler!


OP, sorry for dropping a wall of text in your thread. To answer your question, what you are feeling is NOT what every day working should feel like. What you are feeling should only be for temporary stages in your life to build towards something greater that you want and will enjoy. You seem like you have an idea what you want. You've taken the plunge before into new territory, I'm certain you'll do it again and reach the destination you want.
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Old 03-29-2022, 12:44 PM   #9
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Seems like a lot of people I know are changing careers. Many people around my age are just all of a sudden getting fancy sounding management/board of director jobs.

I think it's just an age thing, as many of these people don't seem especially experienced in those roles. No one wants/respects a 35 or younger manager. When you get to a certain age, more opportunities just seem to become available.

There also seems to be some general restructuring going on across many different industries, which, in itself, seems to be creating opportunities.

So yes, I'd say it's a great time to look for new opportunities.
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Old 03-29-2022, 01:31 PM   #10
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I've done it. Very, very happy that I did.

Some thoughts:

1. Understand what you don't like about your job as it is? Is it just a bad boss, or bad team, are you in the wrong role, or is it something about the industry.

- In my case it was the culture of the industry, and I felt I just didn't fit. I felt like I had a fundamentally different take on life as well as how to get things done compared to almost everybody I met. For my situation, changing roles or companies wouldn't have solved my issue, so I had to consider changing industries. I already knew how much I liked working in tech, so I knew I could fit better in another industry.

2. I know a few 50-somethings that stuck in a job they didn't like because it paid them a lot of money. None of them were / are happy, and in fact most feel pretty bitter.

- The truth is that money doesn't buy happiness. On the flipside, there is no perfect job that will make you happy. It is intuitive that doing something you actively dislike for decade after decade is going to negatively impact you.

3. It's hard to switch industries. As others mentioned, as you progress in your career it's hard to switch jobs without a big paycut. Basically they say you can change 1 of the three: Location, Industry or role. I know some people that changed their role dramatically in their current industry as a means to move out of it in a few years. Others just took a similar job in a totally new industry.

- In my case I switched industry but kept city and similar role.


Overall, I did my big change over 5 years ago. Not once have I regretted it, and in fact I've probably told my wife hundreds of times how thankful I am I made the change. Gave up a lot of salary, but I enjoy almost every day and work with people I connect with, accomplishing things that are important to me.

I think I'm lucky in that I had worked in tech and felt pretty confident that I would have a lot more job satisfaction with the move.

Your results may vary. I'm sure there are people who move careers and hate it.

Good luck!
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Old 03-29-2022, 01:31 PM   #11
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I always say the grass isn’t always greener, you’re just further away so the brown spots blend in. It’s also different grass and different brown spots.

This guy left a high paying corporate job to do his own thing and has some good posts like this one on finding your purpose.


Perhaps before you make a decision it would be worthwhile to take advantage of your employee assistance program from your group benefits? They may help you seek out more clarity or to use the line from the video above, what your purpose is.
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Old 03-29-2022, 01:44 PM   #12
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Leaving an existing job with a baby and wife at home for a lower paying job with less flexibility seems …. Not smart

The reality is most of these people who quit their high paying jobs to find them self / find something they enjoy are able too because they already have the financial stability to allow it

If you don’t like your current job go looking but don’t settle for something that pays less and has less flexibility. It’s a job searchers market right now.

You will be a lot more stressed if you don’t have time with the family or are struggling to pay bills then what you are facing at work (most likely)

However some of your past posts do give us a very stressed tone . So ultimately if you literally hate your job leave . Just don’t settle on another job as you will be in the same spot in 6 months

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Old 03-29-2022, 01:52 PM   #13
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Changing industries and jobs will not make you happier. Industries and jobs don't make people happy, the underlying intrinsic value they receive from doing things makes them happy. You need to figure out what you do that brings joy to your life and focus your attentions on that. Once you are finding more satisfaction or joy in those parts of your life, your work life will follow. You don't sound like you are all that attached to your career, so that is more of a means to an end. Determine what that "end" is and focus on that. As GG said, the weight of having a child at this time in your life is probably adding to your mental state and dissatisfaction so now may not be the best time to be making life altering decisions. Make big changes when you are most stable, not when you're down.
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Old 03-29-2022, 04:37 PM   #14
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Seems like a lot of people I know are changing careers. Many people around my age are just all of a sudden getting fancy sounding management/board of director jobs.

I think it's just an age thing, as many of these people don't seem especially experienced in those roles. No one wants/respects a 35 or younger manager. When you get to a certain age, more opportunities just seem to become available.

There also seems to be some general restructuring going on across many different industries, which, in itself, seems to be creating opportunities.

So yes, I'd say it's a great time to look for new opportunities.
Interesting perspective. That’s definitely not been the case in my experience.
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Old 03-29-2022, 04:57 PM   #15
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Good feedback and perspectives already.
My observations:
- You do have a lot of positives going for you. Decent work, wages, etc... that help you OUTSIDE of work. Focus on your non-work life and it'll make work more bearable. I say this from experience too.

- If you have one or several really crappy coworkers or managers... that's a different reason to look around.

- a *LOT* of males start expressing or amplifying work place unhappiness when their woman is pregnant and/or has a very young child. It's about the only thing they feel in control of and so think that'll change their situation. Talk to your friends and just make observations and you'll be astounded at how many have gone this route.
- Are you able to take on different roles or challenges where you're at? How can you facilitate some change to get yourself more engaged?
- You asked if you need to actually change industries... No... but maybe change within the industry or within your org'n *is* actually an option?
- Lifestyle and stress management... look at yourself, your situation, at home, social, work, etc... is your work-attitude a RESULT of everything else going on? cos quite often it is. What can you actively do about it? ideas:... sleep/rest, pursuing interests, exercise, mindfullness, social time, daddy-time, more/less time with wife, supplements/meds (ie St. Johns), tinkering about, more housework, less social media to name a few.


I *haven't* left jobs I should have... and paid the price too.
I've "survived" jobs where I hung on until I found a better one... same industry but different part of it so many skills were transferable.
Can't really say I've left a job that I should have stayed at.


Overall... be realistic... but also make the best choice you can with what you know and think to the future too. Maybe this will pass.
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Old 03-29-2022, 05:06 PM   #16
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Seems like a lot of people I know are changing careers. Many people around my age are just all of a sudden getting fancy sounding management/board of director jobs.

I think it's just an age thing, as many of these people don't seem especially experienced in those roles. No one wants/respects a 35 or younger manager. When you get to a certain age, more opportunities just seem to become available.

There also seems to be some general restructuring going on across many different industries, which, in itself, seems to be creating opportunities.

So yes, I'd say it's a great time to look for new opportunities.
Interesting take. I would agree with you. If you kept your ducks in a row, and progressed your career, some pretty interesting opportunities start popping up around 35/36.
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Old 03-29-2022, 05:12 PM   #17
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Somewhat related - I saw a segment today on the news about the shift from the great resignation to the great regret that some are feeling after leaving their job recently for a different one.

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Old 03-29-2022, 05:34 PM   #18
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So what's the best advice for switching industries in terms of roles to apply for? I've been trying to switch industries for the past 12-18 months and have had no luck getting callbacks, let alone interviews. I've tried applying for jobs higher ranking/pay than mine, equal ranking/pay and less ranking/less pay all with no luck.
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Old 03-29-2022, 05:49 PM   #19
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Interesting perspective. That’s definitely not been the case in my experience.
A little industry dependent. There's some tech/sales/customer service jobs where they basically show you the door at 40. In an office, with a varied age group, from what I've seen things are different.
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Old 03-29-2022, 05:58 PM   #20
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The grass is green where you water it.
Watering is time consuming and tiring. It's way easier to go scorched earth and lower your standards and accept life in the mud / dust bowl.
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