Want to get off death row? Get fat! - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

FlameOn · 12-05-2012, 05:07 PM

I've heard of a lot of ways to avoid the death penalty before, some of them quite creative, but this one takes the cake. Apparently an Ohio death row inmate might be able to get off death row to a life imprisonment sentence because

Quote:

At about 450 pounds, Ohio death row inmate Ronald Post is so fat that his executioners won't be able to find veins in his arms or legs for the lethal injection... instead he would require an untested procedure injecting the drugs directly into muscle, the process could require multiple doses over several hours or even days and result in a grueling and painful end constituting cruel and unusual punishment

Queue up the fat jokes.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-w...ge&ir=homepage

dissentowner · 12-05-2012, 05:35 PM

It would be like trying to find a fishing line in a 450 pound bucket of cottage cheese.

CaptainCrunch · 12-05-2012, 05:48 PM

They could use the electric chair but there's the threat of a massive greasefire that would kill millions.

Ozy_Flame · 12-05-2012, 06:34 PM

So how does that get him off death row if he instead has to take it through muscle absorption?

FYI I didn't read the article

CaptainCrunch · 12-05-2012, 06:38 PM

He should be put on a strict diet and forced to walk in the yard for 8 hours a day until the weight drops off.

undercoverbrother · 12-05-2012, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlameOn

I've heard of a lot of ways to avoid the death penalty before, some of them quite creative, but this one takes the cake. Apparently an Ohio death row inmate might be able to get off death row to a life imprisonment sentence because

Queue up the fat jokes.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-w...ge&ir=homepage

couldn't they just mix it into his ice cream

Devils'Advocate · 12-05-2012, 07:36 PM

"The Ohio prison system would not comment on how Post gained so much weight behind bars. They said meals are served in reasonable portions and seconds are not allowed, and they provided copies of prison menus that list healthier options such as low-fat milk, vegetarian patties and mixed vegetables"

I guess drugs aren't the only thing people are smuggling into the prisons. Junk food obviously is being sneaked into the facilities.

bluck · 12-05-2012, 07:52 PM

Shot to the head.. quick, painless, cheap, why not?

Skootenbeeten · 12-05-2012, 08:39 PM

They tried the gas chamber but apparently the deadly fumes couldn't cut through his own deadly fumes.

handgroen · 12-05-2012, 09:07 PM

in the dice clay tradition

hickory-dickory dock
he's too fat for a death watch
flab rolls over his hands
they can't fasten the band
so it's on to his neck and a knot

T@T · 12-05-2012, 10:04 PM

Make him shovel the courtyards snow or run the watch towers stairs and he'll just die from cardiac arrest.

Daradon · 12-06-2012, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluck

Shot to the head.. quick, painless, cheap, why not?

I don't believe in the death penalty but in places where it is still used I don't know why they still don't do this. Cheap, like you said, and painless if done properly I would assume. Heck, guillotine would probably still work pretty well. I find the chair and the gas chamber unnecessarily cruel.

I guess it's cause these deaths seem 'violent' even though they'd probably be way more humane than a lot of the ones they use. Even lethal injection could be considered to be mentally cruel. All that waiting around, waiting for the drugs to kick in, slowly having your consciousness fade away.

I'd rather be shot. Really. As long as it doesn't take 4 bullets.

WhiteTiger · 12-06-2012, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daradon

I don't believe in the death penalty but in places where it is still used I don't know why they still don't do this. Cheap, like you said, and painless if done properly I would assume. Heck, guillotine would probably still work pretty well. I find the chair and the gas chamber unnecessarily cruel.

I guess it's cause these deaths seem 'violent' even though they'd probably be way more humane than a lot of the ones they use. Even lethal injection could be considered to be mentally cruel. All that waiting around, waiting for the drugs to kick in, slowly having your consciousness fade away.

I'd rather be shot. Really. As long as it doesn't take 4 bullets.

It's probably more of a thought for the person who'd have to pull the trigger. It's all well and good to say "Well, I'd shoot him in the head!" but it's not actually an easy thing to do. Especially repeatedly. And it's messy.

It takes a...special...sort of person to be able to shoot someone else in the head with the intention to kill, right or wrong.

Daradon · 12-06-2012, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteTiger

It's probably more of a thought for the person who'd have to pull the trigger. It's all well and good to say "Well, I'd shoot him in the head!" but it's not actually an easy thing to do. Especially repeatedly. And it's messy.

It takes a...special...sort of person to be able to shoot someone else in the head with the intention to kill, right or wrong.

Fair enough, but the chair is kinda messy too, and I think there would be just as much guilt in flipping the switch.

LI obviously better for the person administering the dose. In fact, I even think it's done by a computer isn't it? I guess the only guilt comes from inserting the IV.

As far as shooting people in the head, I wouldn't want to do it, but as I mentioned I would prefer that to all the methods of execution I can think of. You could probably find someone who would enjoy it. Though, that might be bad in itself too...

gargamel · 12-06-2012, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteTiger

It's probably more of a thought for the person who'd have to pull the trigger. It's all well and good to say "Well, I'd shoot him in the head!" but it's not actually an easy thing to do. Especially repeatedly. And it's messy.

It takes a...special...sort of person to be able to shoot someone else in the head with the intention to kill, right or wrong.

In a firing squad, they have 5 shooters and only 4 live rounds, so none of the shooters know if they fired the kill shot, if they even fired a shot at all. Also, they cover the head and aim for the chest.

It's still not something that I could do, but it's not quite as bad as having someone put a bullet through the guy's head.

Of course, I think execution by firing squad has been banned everywhere in the U.S. except for a few lucky inmates in Utah who have been grandfathered in under the old law.

puckluck2 · 12-06-2012, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluck

Shot to the head.. quick, painless, cheap, why not?

I'm assuming you've been shot in the head? How can anyone say it would be painless? Or even quick?

Misterpants · 12-06-2012, 08:13 AM

How do you stay 450 lbs eating prison food? He must look REALLY good with a mop on his head to be earning all that extra food.

Hemi-Cuda · 12-06-2012, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iginla

I'm assuming you've been shot in the head? How can anyone say it would be painless? Or even quick?

nevermind the many cases of people actually surviving a gunshot to the head. it's the same reason the electric chair isn't used anymore, there's no guarantee of a quick death

FlameOn · 12-06-2012, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hemi-Cuda

nevermind the many cases of people actually surviving a gunshot to the head. it's the same reason the electric chair isn't used anymore, there's no guarantee of a quick death

I'm sure there's a way to execute for a quick death. Death by mortar seems like a pretty quick way to die and would be near instant. Though I guess it wouldn't be too humane.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...tar-round.html

CaptainCrunch · 12-06-2012, 09:05 AM

5 sticks of dynamite jammed into his fat folds.