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Old 10-06-2012, 03:37 PM   #1
Maritime Q-Scout
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So I'm at a wedding, and in order to get the bride and groom to kiss you have to get up and give advice to the bride and groom.

Rather than waste my remaining brain cells thinking of something witty, I'm leaving it up to you, the good people of Calgary Puck.

30 second marriage advice that is somewhat PG

..... And ..... Go!
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:38 PM   #2
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When you fight, fight naked.
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:39 PM   #3
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"Nothing lasts forever"
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:41 PM   #4
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Dude, you're ALWAYS at weddings! I'm beginning to wonder if you are a wedding crasher.
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:48 PM   #5
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Hire a good divorce lawyer now
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:51 PM   #6
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To the groom...do you want to be right or do you want to be married. Pick one.
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:52 PM   #7
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When the Texas Rangers lose, just leave husband alone.
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:56 PM   #8
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Separate computers
Separate checking accounts
Separate bathrooms
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:13 PM   #9
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Things Never to Say to Your Wife
  • Have you put on weight?
  • My mom didn't make it like this.
  • That's really not your color is it?
  • Have you ever thought about plastic surgery?
  • I bought you a cookbook.
  • I bought you a hammer.
  • I thought you needed this. (Note, unless “this” is a piece of expensive jewelry then you are asking for trouble.)
  • I had lunch with my old girlfriend today.
  • Anniversary? What anniversary?
  • Birthday? What birthday?
  • Why can't your mom stay at a hotel?
  • So, what did you do all day?
  • Hi honey, look whom I brought home!
  • I married you, didn't I?
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:16 PM   #10
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Plan B.
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:20 PM   #11
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Marriage isn't a word...it's a sentence.
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:20 PM   #12
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Marriage is like a cafeteria, you take what looks good now and pay for it later.

Marriage is like a three ring circus, engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

Marriage is like a slurpee, the first couple sips your like oh wow yes im glad I did this then bam outaa no where brain freeze ..... then the brain freeze eventually goes away.... but then your stupid enough to take another sip.
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Old 10-06-2012, 06:53 PM   #13
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It's not too late, run you fools.
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Old 10-06-2012, 06:55 PM   #14
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May your ups and downs be in the bedroom
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Old 10-06-2012, 07:46 PM   #15
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If they're already at the supper, it's too late for advice.
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Old 10-06-2012, 07:47 PM   #16
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Marriage isn't a word...it's a sentence.
I like what you said at your wedding - to never stop playing with each other.
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Old 10-06-2012, 08:43 PM   #17
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My advice is to enjoy the fun now, because in the next few years, she will suddenly become too tired to do anything at night.......
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Old 10-06-2012, 08:55 PM   #18
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Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
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Old 10-06-2012, 09:19 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by You Need a Thneed View Post
When you fight, fight naked.
Been there done that. Works for awhile but after a few years it just gives her better aim.
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:05 PM   #20
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Happy wife, happy life.
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